"Hello?"
"Lisa! It's me! HuiMin! Remember?"
I was busy sketching out my new spring collection when that phonecall came. I was not very pleased with the interruption. With the phone clutching between my ear and shoulder, I gave a very cold reply.
"No."
The other party did not seem to realise my displeasure. She went on in her usual cheery voice.
"Tan HuiMin! Singapore Chinese Girls School? Remember? You're Lisa Sim right? Remember the girl who used to sit beside you for a consecutive four years in school? The one in pigtails."
Oh. THAT Tan HuiMin. My impression of her was not pleasant. She was loud, fat, and ugly. I often made fun of her pigtails.
Well, that reply made me look up from my work for awhile.
"Oh. HuiMin. Yes, I'm surprised you called." I said, in a clearly surprised tone.
I leaned back against the big armchair and took off my spectacles.
"Yes! You remembered right?! You used to call me Fat Min!" HuiMin gushed excitedly.
I rubbed my temples. To think she could be happy about that nickname I gave her.
Realising the pause, she continued.
"I found your office number when I browsed through a fashion magazine the other day. You're so capable now ah! Got a fashion company, and became an international fashion designer! You even have shops in New York! I must say we're all very impressed with your acheivements and we're very happy that you made-"
"Ok. Just tell me what is your purpose for calling." I interrupted. I was having a terrible headache and her voice really irritated me. I had to rush off these few sketches and attend a fashion show in Paragon.
Still not sensitive to my feelings, HuiMin went on, laughing. "Okay, okay. Well, it's my baby's birthday next week. She's turning one and I'm inviting all our friends to my house for a birthday celebration. Please do come. You didn't attend my wedding."
There was a sense of sadness in her voice that I could not avoid when she mentioned that I did not attend her wedding.
How time flies. I am already thirty and my ex classmate is already a mother. I reflected upon that and realised that I am still single, and an extreme workaholic.
"When is the celebration?" I asked, browsing through my Blackberry to check if I will still be in town on that day.
"Next Sunday!" HuiMin replied happily.
Gosh. How can anyone be so excited throughout an entire conversation?
I muttered "Sunday" as I scrolled towards the date. I had a flight at night to New York City. It was scheduled to fly at nine.
"I think I should be able to make it. SMS me your address. I'll come in the afternoon for awhile. I've to fly to New York at night that day." I replied, making a short reminder on my appointment list.
HuiMin hung up the phone excitedly with a loud "bye! See you then!"
I placed the receiver back onto its cradle and inhaled deeply. I looked at my sketches and slipped my feet back into my heels under the table. Swiftly, I walked out of the office and went up to Sandra, my personal assistant who I love dearly. It seemed that I could never do without her.
"Sandy. I'll be making my way down to Paragon later on. Get Roy to prepare the car by," I paused and took a quick glance at my Dior watch, "one. Don't be late. And Sandy, do me a favour will you? Get me lunch. I don't think I'll be able to go for mine because I still have to rush quite a bit of sketches. Will you be sweet enough to get me some sandwiches?"
Sandy was already making her phonecall to Roy to prepare the car at one. That was why I loved her. She is extremely efficient and she knows exactly what I look for in a personal assistant. I can never be too pleased with this young lady.
She hung up the phone and returned to me with a wide grin. "No tomatoes, wholemeal bread. Correct? Want me to get you some Latte as well?"
I laughed and started to make my way back to my office. "You know what I want."
*************************
That week breezed past like lightning when I had to attend countless of fashion events, interviews and at the same time complete my next season's collection. I was extremely busy, I almost forgot to get a baby gift.
Thankfully for Sandra, she came over to my house on Sunday morning with a Ralph Lauren Baby Girl's Set, all wrapped up in a beautiful silver wrapper. She even got me a mini gift card to fill in.
I was extremely touched by her visit. She always knew what I needed.
"I thought you might have forgotten." Sandra was telling me with a grin when she passed me the gift. "Ralph Lauren Baby Girl's Set. Three hundred and fifty bucks. Receipt in the paper bag."
I took the paper bag and looked into it. I smiled tenderly and gave her a warm hug. "Oh Sandy. How can I do without you? I had clearly forgotten about the afternoon appointment!"
I signed a cheque to Sandra before I told her to enjoy her Sunday. I knew that I could trust her to take care of my company in Singapore while I was away. She had been doing so the past four years.
In my black Versace dress and Prada clutch, I made my way to HuiMin's house.
I never knew that this trip, could change my life forever.
*******************************************
I was clearly amazed at the number of people that were invited to the baby's birthday bash. HuiMin lived in a fanciful condominium in the East and everyone was downstairs, enjoying the buffet lunch and barbeque. There were children running around, screaming at the top of their voices, while some men stood around and spoke in low voices.
I felt totally out of place. It had been an extremely long time since I attended a barbeque and I realised that I was apparently overdressed for this event. It was humid after the afternoon rain. I walked with poise in my Gucci shoes, hoping not to slip and fall.
I barely made it to the barbeque pit when I heard some women screaming at the top of their voices. "Lisa Sim!"
I was clearly embarrassed at the overwhelming greetings. Everyone turned to look at me as I made my way to the barbeque pit. I was blushing, I think.
"Oh Lisa!" A lady in a plain polo t-shirt and khaki shorts stepped forward and gave me a big hug.
I gave her a quick hug and released her. She smelt of persperation and food. Honestly, I was not feeling too good about hugging her. I was more worried if she might dirty my two thousand dollars dress.
"It's me, HuiMin!" She gushed, picking up my hand and leading me to a group of smiling ladies under a shelter. "Come! Let's meet our ex classmates!"
I groaned inwardly. They all looked totally out of place. Or should I say, I was the only one looking out of place. They were all dressed in the most "unglamorous" clothes, in my context. And, god, don't they ever do facials?
"This is Mary, Sharon, Tiantian.." As HuiMin went along with the introduction to a row of aunties, my mind drifted away for awhile. To me, it did not matter who was who. They all looked alike.
I managed to force a smile as I took a seat beside this lady, by the name of Mary. Apparently, she was from my class too in Secondary Four. Somehow, I could not remember her.
"I was the one sitting at the back. Remember?" Mary asked, trying very hard to refresh my memory.
I was getting annoyed. Besides having to get stuck in an awful place without air condition, I still had to go through torturous questionings. Why do these ladies keep wanting me to remember them? It was not necessary.
In my opinion, anyway.
Soon, everyone was around me, talking about my career, and asking me questions regarding fame and beauty.
"Oh wow. Look at your skin! They're so fair and firm! Mine all dropping already." Mary complained, pulling down her own cheeks. "How do you maintain all that?"
I smiled, "well, I do facials every once a week. I have a facial therapist back in New York who does that for me each time I go back. Otherwise, I go to a facial shop around in Singapore which he recommends. He is the key to my flawless skin." I replied and blurted, "I think you need a good facial. Seriously."
Mary laughed. "Aiyo! How to do? I have two children and only my husband is working. Where to find the money to do all these? You're really very lucky! Thirty, not married, and still so beautiful. Plus, you're so rich! We are so envious!"
Another lady, by the name of Tina chipped in. "Ya! How to compare to you? You're a fashion star leh! We are all just housewives. More like aunty already."
The group burst into laughter at that sentence. Sad to say, either I did not have a sense of humour, or I simply did not find it funny.
"Well, it still boils down to maintaining how you look." I insisted and took a sip of low graded fruit punch. I had no choice. This fruit punch tasted slightly too sweet and I only drink fruit juices and plain water. Nothing else.
"I heard that your nose is fake." Mary queried, causing my nose to be the main attention within the group.
I could hear soft mutters of, "yeah. It does look abit fake hor..."
I coughed delibrately and stood up, "excuse me, bit I need to go to the ladies." I excused myself as politely as I could and walked towards HuiMin. "Where is the ladies?" I asked quietly, still feeling their eyes on me. I was extremely uncomfortable.
HuiMin pointed towards the direction upwards and told me her apartment was on the third storey, fourth house from the left. I took my gift and took the elevator up to the third level.
During the period in the elevator, I had made up my mind to find an excuse to leave this barbeque as soon as I could. Those ladies were worst than the fishmongers in the market! They were nothing like women I knew in my social circle. A question came into my mind as I thought of these. Will I be like these women if I got married and have kids?
I shuddered at the thought as the elevator brought me up to the third level. I made my way to the fourth house with the most fanciful door. It was painted brown with floral designs on it. I was impressed with the inviting welcome.
I took off my shoes and went into the house. There were some men around the house, apparently friends of HuiMin's husband, sitting around, enjoying beer and some barbequed meat. I smiled politely at her husband, John, as he made his way up to me. We were introduced briefly earlier on.
"Come up to see the baby?" He asked, holding a plastic cup, his breath reeking of alcohol.
Yes, the baby. How could I not ask about the baby? She was supposed to be the star of the afternoon and I did not see her around.
"Oh yes. I did not see her downstairs." I asked, trying to be concerned about the baby. I am never fond of kids. "I need to pass her this gift." I continued with a smile, handing over John the Ralph Lauren paper bag with both hands.
John took it with gratitude. "Wow. Expensive gift. I'm sure with your great taste, our Sara will love what you have for her in there! Thanks!"
I gave him a light pat on his shoulder as I looked over his shoulder, "so, where is Sara?"
He brought me to the nursery. It was very well decorated. Once again, I was impressed with HuiMin's sense of house furnishing. She might not know how to dress up, but she knows indeed, how to make her house look its best.
The nursery was painted in a baby pink shade with Sara's photo enlarged, and printed on the wall. The white baby cot was resting against the adjacent wall and there Sara was, sleeping soundly in a white baby doll dress.
Somehow, I felt no connection to her.
"She's beautiful." I spoke, my voice in a crisp. I tried extremely hard not to look away from the child. I was more interested in the decoration of the room.
John stood beside me and smiled tenderly. I could see a sense of pride in his eyes. "Yes, she is. Min and I love her. We're going to work as hard as we can to give her the best things in life."
I was touched by those words. My parents never really bothered about giving me anything in life. They flew around often and I was always left alone at home with four maids. I grew up without knowing exactly how my father looks like. It was until three years back, when I finally started living with him in Miami whenever I visit the city.
"Oh yes, where is the ladies? I need to use it." I asked quietly, trying to hold my bladder. I had been trying to hold it in for half an hour and I really needed to release.
John kindly led me to a bathroom at the end of the corridor. As I used the bathroom, I looked around in awe. The bathroom had a fairytale theme. I think they got it renovated recently for their daughter. I was impressed through and through with the meticulous thoughts of HuiMin and John.
After I was done, I opened the door and was shocked when a man fell through. He was apparently drunk and I held on to him, his head leaning on my chest. How convenient.
I pushed him up lightly and he stood up straight.
"I need to pee." He said, looking at me with his bloodshot eyes.
I totally had a bad impression of him. How can anyone get dead DRUNK on a baby's birthday bash? Totally unethical.
I moved aside for him to use the bathroom. However, as he stepped forward, he lost his balance again and grabbed my breasts roughly.
I screamed and slapped his hands off. The other men came running towards us upon hearing my screams. "HE TOUCHED ME!" I screeched, still hitting aimlessly at the drunk man's hands.
John rushed forward and grabbed his friend from the back. Some guy came up too and tried to help this drunkard up. I straightened my dress and was terrified to see a wet patch on my dress.
"Oh my god. He pee-ed on me." I spoke in horror, stressing word for word, still staring at my dress. "It's Versace."
John apologised profusely. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He's drunk."
I groaned inwardly and went back into the bathroom. I was mortified. How could any grown up man urine on ME? Especially on my precious Versace dress! I was close to tears as I wiped fiercely over the wet spot that was starting to smell.
I was busy wiping away when a gentle knock came on the door.
"Lisa, it's me, HuiMin. I heard about what happened. Do you need my help?" She asked kindly.
"No, thank you. I would prefer it if you leave me alone." I replied, trying not to sound too irritated with the interruption.
"Alright. Just let me know if you need anything." HuiMin replied and I heard her footsteps fading off the corridor.
I was upset. It had been a long time since I was so upset over something. This dress was my priced treasure. How could anyone ruin it?
I stayed in the bathroom for as long as I could remmeber, trying to salvage my dress.
I was absolutely sure I smelt of urine, but I could not appear too petty infront of the crowd, hence, I calmed myself down and walked out of the bathroom as graciously as I could. Everyone was scattered around like nothing big had happened. Everyone seemed to have forgotten all about me. For awhile, I was actually kind of annoyed.
I was about to exit the long stretch of narrow pathway of rooms when I felt a pat on my shoulder. Startled, I turned around and saw the guy who urinated on me earlier on, standing behind me, his eyes still bloodshot, but his face no longer showed any signs of tipsyness.
I was actually quite angry at the sight of him, despite realising how beautiful those pairs of eyes were for a man.
I took a step back, now taking cautious of him.
"Look, I... I'm sorry." He muttered, rubbing his forehead. "I... I wasn't really thinking. I... I'm sorry."
I placed a hand on my chest and gave it a little pat to hold back my temper before saying, "this, is a baby bash, and here you are, getting all drunk. Do you have any respect for the baby and her parents at all? This is not some wild party where you can get drunk and act irresponsibly."
He looked up at me, his eyes filled with apology. His pants still had a wet patch, reminding me of the absolutely irritating incident that happened an hour ago.
"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have done that. I wasn't feeling too good today. I guess I should have held back my liquor. Anyway, I'm sorry. Is there any way I can compensate?"
"You. Ruined. My. Precious. Versace. Dress." I replied, pointing to the unsightly spot on my dress. I was not going to mince my words, in fact, I made a point to make it very, crystal, clear.
I thought, for a while, his mouth might have hung opened for a good five seconds.
"Maybe, I can pay for the dry washing?" He offered, taking out his wallet.
I placed my hand on top of his hand and took a deep breath. "Dry washing, won't help. You urinated on it. It's not water, or beer. It's urine. This dress is ruined. Forget it."
"Look, how much is this dress? Maybe I can pay for this dress." He insisted.
Without showing much empathy, I replied. "it's two thousand dollars. Versace."
Once again, his mouth fell opened.
I sighed. "Forget it. My luck."
I was turning to walk away when he held on to my elbow.
"Wait."
I stopped at my pace and turned back. I was apparently very unhappy.
"This is my namecard. I guess I haven't introduced myself. I'm Mike." He was pushing a namecard into my hand.
I took it out of courtesy and handed him my namecard in return. "Lisa Sim."
His eyes opened wider than they already was. "Lisa? That fashion designer?"
I closed my clutch and placed it under my underarm. "I'll take it as we've politely introduced each other. Now, I've to go. I've to catch a plane tonight. I'm not in the best of mood, but yes, nice meeting you."
Courtesy was important. I learnt over the years that being polite at all times was essential. Even to people you dislike, knowing your manners was a total unrelated issue. It all boils down to your upbringing ultimately.
With that, I left him standing at the end of the pathway, staring behind me as I left the house.
Never in my wildest dream, I thought I might see him again.
*****************************
A month after that awkward incident, I was back in Singapore. I had been flying to and fro. I was exhausted that particular January. It was the New Year and I decided to celebrate 2007's New Year in Singapore.
However, I was alone. Sandra had to spend the New Year with her family and I was stuck at home at New Year's Eve, sipping wine and enjoying some home-cooked pasta. The television was not showing anything spectacular that evening, except the usual New Year's Eve countdown programmes. I was switching the channels, trying to find a good channel to settle down with, but, every single channel seemed to be celebrating this joyous event.
I gave up ultimately and popped in a VCD. I decided to catch MY FAIR LADY instead. I love classics. Audrey Hepburn had always been my idol. She was beautiful and classy. The exact role model I aspired to be since I was fifteen.
I was about to settle down back at my couch when my Blackberry rang. I was slightly annoyed. It was New Year's Eve! I think I deserved that short little break.
"Hello?" I balanced my plate of pasta on my bended knee as I held the Blackberry against my ear.
"Lisa? Lisa Sim?" A male's baritone voice asked through the other side.
"Yes? Who am I speaking to?"
"Mike."
I knew like eight Mikes during that year. It took me quite awhile to realise which Mike he was.
"Mike? That party guy?" I asked, totally taken off guard.
Why did this man call?
"Yes. I'm glad you remembered." He replied, his voice sounded slightly more relieved.
I dropped my legs down from the couch and placed my plate on the glass table infront of me. "Yes?" I asked.
"Yes. It's New Year's Eve. Not celebrating?"
I took a sip of my wine and leaned back against the couch. "No." I replied dryly.
"Oh. Your family?"
"Back in Miami."
"Oh."
There was a pregnant pause. His background was totally silent. I wondered if he was celebrating over at his side too.
"Well, is there anything else you want to ask?"
Finally, I broke the silence.
"Actually, yes. Can I meet you for awhile today? I need to tell you something." He requested, his voice thickened with sincerity.
I gripped onto my Blackberry.
"What is it that you can't tell me through the phone?"
"It's..It's something. Can I drive over?"
There was a sense of urgency in his voice I could not ignore. However, I was not fond of meeting any man outside the business line. To me, men meant trouble. I believed in that since I was fifteen.
"I'm afraid, it's not convenient. I'm alone at home, and I'm not used to meeting any stranger, especially men, at my place."
"We can meet downstairs, whatever. I just need to see you."
"I'm sorry. I'm really not interested in meeting up with you, and I'm not obliged too. Happy New Year, and goodbye." I ended the phone conversation abruptly and hung up.
Just then, from where I was sitting, I could see the fireworks coming from Clark Quay. They formed beautifully in the dark sky as I watched from where I sat.
A sense of loneliness was running through me. How could anyone like me, feel lonely? I had everything in this world. A nice penthouse in Singapore, a gorgeous apartment in New York City, two fashion offices, my own fashion line, four cars, three chauffeurs, great parents, two great assistants in Singapore and New York, botox, and a gorgeous wardrobe.
I fulfiled many dreams a girl have. The only thing missing was, love.
I stacked my cushions up at the side of my couch and took a big gulp of wine before lying down. I curled my legs up and lay that way while I could hear soft cheers coming from neighbours and downtown.
Tears were falling. I did not realise that until my nose felt funny. I closed my eyes and it brought me back to the time I was fifiteen.
I was a happy schoolgirl back then, exceling in everything I did. I was happy. I was truly happy. I had friends, I had a happy family, I was doing things I loved. Even at that time, I had someone I loved. I was complete.
I was in love with the only guy I loved my whole life, Kok Leong. He was from a neighbouring boys' school and we met when we took the same bus home daily. He would always make an effort to delibrately take the same bus as I did. As time went by that year, we made friends.
We did everything together, and I never forgot that pair of eyes that attracted me since the first day we met. They were deep and brown. Kok Leong had a little bit of Eurasian feature although he was pure Chinese. I looked forward to school holidays too, because we would meet up and go swimming, or have fun at Gay World or Happy World. Whatever world we went to, we were happy in our own world.
*************************************
The New Year passed quickly and we were all back to our regular life. I was busier than ever after the holiday. Sandra came back happier, and pregnant with her second child. She broke the news to her husband on New Year, at the strike of twelve midnight.
How romantic.
I could almost said that line with a smile.
That first week of New Year went on smoothly, until the second weekend. Mike called again.
"Can we meet for lunch?"
I was in the middle of a meeting when he called. I know it was terribly rude of me to keep my phone on during a meeting, but the office in New York calls me all the time to update me with the progress over the other side. I had to balance myself out.
I excused myself from my staff and walked out of the meeting room. I was totally irritated with that persistance.
"I told you, I am busy. Which part of this sentence do you NOT understand?" I asked, now with obvious irritatibility.
"I really MUST see you. This is very important."
I was losing my cool.
"Look! I don't have any reason to meet you. I don't think, there's any need for us to meet or anything. If you don't mind, I would appreciate alot if you could stop calling me." I hung up my phone abruptly after saying that firmly.
He tried calling a few more times, but I hung up on him mercilessly.
There was no need to deal with this man's business.
Besides, apart from Kok Leong, no other guy would have interested me.
To me, whether Kok Leong was dead or alive, I was still his.
**********************************
The following morning, I went to office as usual. Sandra was at her desk when I arrived. She was beaming with a glow only happy pregnant women possessed.
"Someone sent a parcel for you." Sandra said with a grin and handed me a parcel wrapped with a brown paper. "It was a guy." She whispered with a wink and settled back down in her seat.
I took the parcel and went into my office. Parcel?
I took a sip of my coffee before opening up my parcel like a Christmas gift. There was a gift box underneath the sheet of brown paper. The box had heart shapes printed all over it.
I tore the remaining sheet of paper left on the box and found myself facing a big rectangular gift box. Slowly, I lifted up the lid of the gift box and for a moment, I was lost for words.
In the box, was a photoframe with a photo of a young girl in plaits, hugging a handsome young schoolboy. They were smiling happily back at me in their swimsuits.
I fell back against my armchair, unable to catch my breath. I picked up another smaller box almost effortlessly beside the photoframe and opened it up gently.
What I saw made me sob like a baby girl.
It was a ring that Kok Leong and I exchanged fourteen years ago.
A silver ring, with our names engraved on it.
I touched mine on my fourth finger and sobbed even harder.
*****************************************
I took a day off that day. Trust me, I was not typical of me to do so. I drove down to Kok Leong's grave and sat by his grave with a bunch of beautiful flowers I bought for him. There were fresh flowers by his grave when I got there.
I looked around, hoping to spot anyone who might be around. Maybe, someone who knew him sent the parcel to me. I needed answers, I needed assurance.
I sat by his grave and looked at his photo closely. I placed my fingers gently over the small photo and felt tears falling down my face, smudging my make up. For years, I could not come to terms with his death. He was healthy and happy. He had everything going on around him. Why? How? How could he go? Most importantly, how could he leave me alone?
I remembered how I skipped meals and sleep over him. I did not even attend his funeral that year. I was simply too devastated when his brother called me that afternoon, announcing Kok Leong's death.
"He died of asthma. Last night. So, he won't be meeting you by the pool this afternoon." He had told me.
I remembered dropping the receiver.
I was still sobbing as I felt a tap on my shoulder.
I looked up and saw Mike standing behind me, his eyes filled with tears and a sort of sadness I could not comprehend.
****************************
I am not going to explain further, or elaborate anything else. Mike and I got engaged last month, and we have arranged to have a grand wedding three months later.
I am so glad I found him, or, the other way round, he found me.
All thanks to HuiMin's baby bash.
Oh yes, did I mention? Behind the photoframe, there were some words written in cursive. I only saw it after Mike proposed to me that very evening.
Lisa Sim & Mike Tan
12-08-1994
I've always been in love with you,
but there was only Kok Leong in your eyes,
I became Kok Leong,
My twin brother...
So that you can love me too...
I love you, my Lisa.
12-08-1994
I've always been in love with you,
but there was only Kok Leong in your eyes,
I became Kok Leong,
My twin brother...
So that you can love me too...
I love you, my Lisa.
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