When Gods No Longer Listen

There was a period in Lee Boon Keat's life where he hated the words, "thank you, I will call you back."

That was when he was busy running around Singapore, trying to find a job that pays reasonably, has fixed working hours, and that he was familiar with.

He had been working with a logistics company for twenty five years. Sadly, during a recession, he was given "early retirement" with a sum of money as compensation. However, the money did not last long. Shortly after three years, the money depreciated. That was when, he decided not to sit around anymore, and find a proper job to generate a new source of income.

His wife have been working since she was twenty. Thankfully, she is still in the same company after almost thirty years. The company looked up to her in terms of seniority and decided to let her stay after a salary negotiation five years ago. You see, Mrs Lee had been nearly fired as well, due to the outsource of manpower. Due to that, Mrs Lee decided to negotiate with the board to let her stay for a few years longer, in the expense of a decrease in her salary.

Their youngest daughter, Vanessa, was also recently diagnosed with second stage of liver cancer. It was taking a toll on the family, especially when the medical expenses were excruciatingly high. Mr and Mrs Lee were very upset over their twenty year old daughter's plight. Never in their wildest dreams did they expect their young daughter to be sick.

They pray everyday for their youngest daughter to recover completely and for their eldest son to find a proper job and stay on it. Their son have just completed his National Service. Holding only onto his O level certificate, he did many odd jobs over the years, but could not stay longer than a year in each.

"So how is your daughter? Okay already?" Ah Teck, Boon Keat's buddy for thirty years asked with concern as they sat at a coffeeshop near their house.

On Friday nights, Boon Keat will be at the coffeeshop with a couple of his best buddies to enjoy a couple of beer and to chit chat about social issues.

The balding man shook his head and took a large gulp of his beer. "Going through chemotherapy now. Still have ten sessions to go. Poor girl, keep vomiting everyday. I don't know what to do. Somemore each time not cheap you know! They give her a jab before her chemotherapy and it costs almost three thousand dollars ok!"

Ah Seng, another buddy of Boon Keat chipped in, "It's okay! She will get well! Furthermore, she's so young! The chances of she recovering is 100%! Confirm!"

Boon Keat was not sure about that. He no longer had the energy to think about other issues besides money. Money, to him, was the most important thing he needed to solve all his family problems.

"How about your son? Now still no job?" Ah Seng asked, shaking his leg under the table. "My daughter now start work already. At this Tan Tock Seng Hospital. Not bad, earning about two thousand a month. Maybe they have positions for your son to try out. I'll ask her." He offered, inhaling the cigarette deeply.

Boon Keat sighed. "That boy! Don't talk about him! Everyday stay at home play his stupid computer game! I don't know what he is going to do with his life! He wants to rot, I don't mind let him rot, but now, we need money! I can't afford to let him rot anymore!" He grumbled and looked at his friend. "Can or not? Tell your Tanya to help."

Ah Seng sympathised his friend's situation and agreed to ask Tanya for help.

However, Boon Keat knows deep down that his friend was simply offering out of goodwill to help. If he had been truly sincere, his son would not have been jobless for a good eight months.

******************************

That night, Mrs Lee could not sleep. Her daughter had been tossing and turning on the mattress on the floor. She woke up a few times to take her daughter's temperature. If there should be any signs of fever, she must be sent to the hospital immediately.

Her husband snored loudly beside her in the dark. Mrs Lee's tears fell from the corners of her eyes as she turned her back towards her husband who reeked the smell of alcohol. She prayed every day to the Goddess of Guan Yin, but why nothing seemed to improve at all? Her family had so many problems, she could hardly breathe.

"Ma..." Vanessa's voice called out softly. She must have felt the bed moving a little when her mother shifted her body.

Mrs Lee sat up and moved herself to her daughter who was lying wide awake.

"Yes?" She whispered, soothing her daughter's long hair.

Vanessa's frail frame hugged her mother tightly. It felt like she was using all her strength because she seemed so weak. Mrs Lee was pretty amazed at how much strength her daughter possessed still.

"Ma, am I causing alot of troubles for you and pa?" She asked, her voice tingling with sadness.

"No," her mother choked back her tears, "no, ah girl. Don't say that. Pa and Ma will do all we can to help you." She continued, putting her daughter's head underneath her chin so that she could not watch the tears falling down her face.

Tears fell faster as she recalled what Vanessa's doctor told her this afternoon during her second chemotherapy session.

"She is going to lose her hair. That, you must be prepared," Doctor Ho said in a hush. "She is also going to get weaker, and skinnier. Normally, we'll give something to stop her vomitting but it depends whether her body accepts this medication well or not. Otherwise, she might still vomit even after I give her that dosage of medication." She explained.

"Then, will she be cured 100% after her chemotherapy?" Mrs Lee asked, holding the doctor's freezing hands, "please doctor! Please make her okay! She is only twenty! She still have one whole life ahead of her!" She pleaded in tears.

The doctor patted the hand and replied in a quiet voice, "I cannot promise you anything now, Mrs Lee. Wait till Vanessa finishes her chemotherapy, then we talk about it okay? For now, give her all the support she needs. Don't ever give up."

Poor daughter, she is going to lose her hair! Mrs Lee thought to herself and sobbed harder. Worst still, when she recalled how her father passed away due to liver cancer as well, she shook in fear. What if, Vanessa, like her grandfather, could not make it?

Vanessa held her mother's waist and snuggled close even though the weather was humid. "Ma, don't worry. I'll get well." She said in a little brave voice.

Mrs Lee cried loudly. She could no longer hold back her tears.

That night, Mr Lee's snores and Mrs Lee sobs could be heard all through the night.

**********************************

The next morning, after breakfast, Boon Keat went to a furniture shop opposite his house in hope to find a job. He had walked past the shop a couple of days back and saw a piece of note sticking outside the shop saying "FULL-TIME ASSISTANT REQUIRED". He bought a couple of furnitures from the shop before, so, he was quite familiar with the boss and place.

"Good morning, Ah Keat! How are you?" The boss, Lim Lai Huat welcomed him loudly from the front counter. He stepped out of the counter and went over to his ex-client, neighbourhood friend. "Coming to buy furnitures huh?" He asked in a bright voice.

Boon Keat smiled and wiped the glistening sweat off his balding head, "no, no. I'm here actually to talk to you about something."

The overweight boss laughed, "sure, sure! Come! Sit here! Got fan!" He invited and placed a stool under a ceiling fan for Boon Keat to relax on.

Boon Keat sat down and felt better. Sometimes, he cursed the weather for being too hot, however, his wife always lecture him for cursing the Gods.

Lai Huat stirred a cup of black coffee for Boon Keat and brought it over to him, "drink coffee." He offered and handed the blue tin cup to Mr. Lee.

Mr Lee took it with gratitude. They sat down and enjoyed the coffee for awhile before Boon Keat started a conversation. "So, Ah Mun not working here anymore? Why you alone today?" He asked, putting the tin cup down.

Lai Huat, in his white polo t-shirt grunted. "Don't talk about that boy! Very lazy! That other day, still can bring girlfriend come! He thought I was not coming back early, come here hanky panky! But I came back and saw them!" He complained, feeling angry again. "That girl almost going to take off her shirt already! What he think my place is? Hotel huh!" He shouted loudly, taking out his pack of cigerettes. "You smoke?" He asked, offering a cigerette to Boon Keat.

Boon Keat rejected politely, "I quitted."

Lai Huat withdrew his offer and placed the cigerette in between his lips. "Quit better. Look at me, smoke for thirty years still cannot quit. Hopeless already." He muffled as he lit his cigerette. "Very stressful nowadays. Run this shop myself, and nobody want to work for me because nowadays, young people want to work in aircon, high class place! Who will be so stupid to work here? No air con, place so old, and got such a mean boss!" He joked and laughed.

Boon Keat followed suit and shook his head, "no lah. You're not mean. I heard from Ah Mun you gave him bonus last year! Nowadays, bosses very seldom give good bonuses already. Singapore nowadays so expensive, but all the salaries also never rise. How to survive like that?" He lamented.

Lai Huat inhaled the cigerette deeply and rubbed his bulging stomach, "yah lah! This government, I really don't understand. This rise, that rise! Salary, no change! I try my best to give my workers what I can! If times are bad, I also cannot help it right?" He reasoned.

Boon Keat nodded in agreement. Speaking about the way the government works will never bring him to the main topic of being employed. Hence, he decided to stop the conversation about what the government did and concentrate on his initial intention for this visit.

"Huat ah," Boon Keat started, rubbing his bald head. "I have a request to ask from you. I wonder if you will allow." He started, looking around awkwardly.

The fat man laughed heartily as he pressed the cigerette out on a ashtray. "What? Just say!"

"Um. Since Ah Mun not working for you already, how about employing me?" He started, and paused, "you know lah, I've been jobless for four years! I kept finding and finding, but all they tell me is "we'll call you later", then, not a word from them! Some told me I'm too old for the job, but they never state on the newspaper they are looking for people below 35 what!"

Lai Huat looked at the fifty five year old man and lit another cigerette. "You know what I want my assistant to do or not? He have to carry heavy things, deliver heavy furnitures, climb up and down the ladder to fix nails, all that you know. For your age, not wise lah." He stated matter-of-factly.

Boon Keat was quick to argue. "Why? You doubt my strength is it? I can show you! I can carry a sofa all by myself! I can also lift a bed! My daughter nowadays sick, I moved my own king sized bed to the side of the room for her to sleep on the floor! I'm very strong you know! I'm also very good at fixing things! Nailing, hammering, painting, all of these I can do too! You cannot trust young people nowadays, they're too rash!" He explained and paused for half a second. "You see that Ah Mun you know already! No sense of responsibilities! Sometimes, we old men are more responsible then those young men!"

Lai Huat sat quietly, all the while listening to what Boon Keat had to say. In his mind, he was full of doubts. He knew that this man had been working as an office boy for twenty odd years, and he totally had no experience in this line, but, could he trust him? As a friend, yes. However, in terms of health, he had alot of worries.

"I won't pay much you know. Just a thousand per month. No medical benefit. No CPF, you know. Work from morning ten to at night ten. You can?" Boss asked, in the hope that Boon Keat might find the salary too low. He used to pay Ah Mun a thousand five monthly, inclusive of CPF. However, for Boon Keat, he decided not to commit too much.

Lai Huat could sense a bit of hesitation in Boon Keat and sat back. He knew that this offer was too much for anyone who once drew a salary of two thousand to accept. Besides, these are manual work, not office work.

Boon Keat looked straight into Lai Huat's eyes and finally made a positive decision. "Yes. Okay. CPF not important to me because I'm also fifty five already. No medical benefit also never mind! I hardly fall sick. Morning ten to at night ten also can because I live across the road only, so no need transport fees."

Lai Huat looked at his friend in disbelief. "Are you sure? Confirm? Hard work you know!" He asked.

Boon Keat nodded gladly. "I'm very happy to have found this job. At least now, we have an extra income."

For once, Boon Keat felt happy. Although he may have given up looking for his ideal job, he decided that for his age, this was the best God could offer him.

********************************

Boon Keat underwent some training from Lai Huat that day and he was told that the training was taught for free, so he will not be paid for that day. He learnt how to fix up a furniture and polish the drawers. He also learnt how to issue invoices and reciepts.

He reached home just in time for dinner at eight. To celebrate the success of a job interview, he bought a roast duck home for everyone.

"Boy ah! Open the gate for me!" Boon Keat called his twenty two year old son from the gate.

Jeroy, his grown up son totally ignored his father and continued to be engrossed in his online strategy game.

"Boy! I said open the door! You deaf or what!" Boon Keat shouted from the gate. Vanessa came rushing from the room and opened the front gate with the key hanging at the side of the wall.

"Pa." She greeted and helped her father with the plastic bag he was holding as he took off his shoes.

"This Ah Ming ah! Really!" He walked up to his son from the back and smacked him on his head hard.

Jeroy stood up immediately and backed off in defence. "What! You mad ah! Come home then beat people! Crazy is it!" He shouted.

Boon Keat was fuming. "Ya! Mad! Why? Because I have a useless son like you! Everyday play game, play game! Work don't want to find! Everyday do nothing! Is that what you want to do all your life?!"

"Shut up lah! Not like you're very good right! Four years never work, never bring money, still go out and drink with your friends using Ma's money! You also useless what!" The tall son shouted back and pointed at his father, "I become like this, also learn from you!"

Boon Keat slapped his son hard enough for his son to lose his balance for awhile. Jeroy leaned against the computer table and rubbed his face angrily.

Mrs Lee ran out of the kitchen and nudged her husband's arm, "what happen? Why you hit Ah Boy?!" She asked, another hand holding onto her son's muscular arm.

Jeroy shook off his mother's grip and stormed into his room. He slammed the door hard enough for Vanessa to jump from where she sat.

"I tell you! Pa found a job today! You think your pa idle at home everyday is it?! I tell you, you are not like me! I worked for twenty five years of my life to give you everything you need! Then the company sacked me and I went around looking for a job! I go out to look for job okay! You? You stay at home everyday and play your stupid game! I am going to smash your computer!" Boon Keat shouted at the closed door and unplugged all the plugs off the computer monitor angrily. "You think I'm joking! You getting from bad to worst!" He continued shouting as he took the entire monitor screen and walked out of the house.

Vanessa sat on the sofa quietly, afraid to say anything. When her father was fuming, it was better if everyone just kept quiet.

Mrs Lee shook her head and smelt something burning. "Oh no! My fish!" She yelped and went into the kitchen.

That night, Jeroy did not come out at all. He did not join them for dinner, neither did he come out to use the bathroom. His room was dead silent for the entire night. Boon Keat had instructed everyone to ignore him.

****************************

The next morning, Jeroy's room door was opened. Mrs Lee, being the first to wake up every morning, went into his room to check if her son was alright.

"Ah boy?" She called, walking into the empty room. The morning breeze blew into the room through the grilled windows, causing the flower printed curtains to flutter at its momentum.

There, she found a note on the study table. It was Jeroy's untidy handwriting and bad English.

After reading it briefly, she ran into her room in tears.

"Keat! Keat! Wake up! You see this! Ah Boy ran out of the house already!" She cried, shaking her snoring husband who was still in his dreamland.

Her husband sat up dreamily and looked at his wife. "What are you talking about?" He asked groggily.

Mrs. Lee turned on the bedside lamp so that Vanessa would not wake up and passed the crumpled note to her husband.


When you read this letter, I not here already. Go where? I also don't know. But my friends will take care of me lah! You two don't like me, think I very useless, okay lor! Now you all only have Mei to take care of, also can save more money lah! Don't have me, you don't need to feed me or pay for my electrical bill every month. Every month listen to you complain about my handphone bill and PUB bill really make me damn dulan (Hokkien term for "irritated")! I cannot stand it anymore lah! You all see what you all can do with your life! Don't need come find me already. Bye.

Boon Keat dropped the note onto his laps and stared into space for a good two minutes without speaking. His wife was sitting beside him sobbing. That was it. Not even a greeting or a sign off message.

He told his wife that Jeroy needed to experience life outside and that this trip for him, might instead do him good.

"If he comes back one day, he will be a different Ah Boy already. Let him be, "Boon Keat comforted his wife, although his heart was piercing with pain.

And so, Mrs Lee prayed to the Goddess of Guan Yin everyday for the recovery of her daughter's illness and the comeback of her son.

**********************************

It was finally Chinese New Year. A year had gone by and still no news of Jeroy. Mrs Lee flipped the newspaper everyday, hoping not to see any article of accidents or murder cases that might involve her son. No news, is always good news. She still prayed to the Goddess of Guan Yin diligently and offered fruits and tea.

The round table was filled with fresh raw meat and vegetables with an electric steamboat in the middle. The broth was boiling and Mrs Lee sat by the steamboat, waiting for her husband to come home.

Mr Lee came home at about six that day because Lai Huat had to go home for his reunion dinner.
"Sit, let's eat." Mrs Lee said with a smile when her husband opened the gate.

Boon Keat stepped into the house and sat beside his wife who had prepared a feast for him.

"This year, no reunion dinner because ah boy and ah girl not with us. Only you and me. So, we'll just settle for something simple okay?" Mrs Lee asked, lifting the lid of the steamboat.

Mr Lee looked at the two empty seats beside him and felt his heart ached. Last year, the family was seated at the reunion table, enjoying a feast of steamboat their mother prepared. This year, everything felt so empty.

He looked up at the altar and saw the Goddess of Guan Yin looking down at them. Beside her, was a photo of their beautiful daughter, Vanessa.