"Please? Just to Batam?" Twenty three year old Mabel pleaded her boyfriend of two years to take her to a year end vacation.
The couple had been together for two years, but have never travelled together, reason mainly due to financial constraints.
Ken groaned and shook off his girlfriend's pleading grasp. "It's not that I don't want to go with you. It's really because of money problems. Besides, end of the year is still a good six months away."
"But, we can plan right? We plan well, then you get a job in October. Then we can go to Batam in December! It's our third year anniversary too!" Mabel urged, nudging her boyfriend again.
This time, Ken got slightly frustrated.
"I told you, we can plan later. When we have the money, and when I get the job. Besides, we don't know what might happen in December right? What if, something crops up and we can't go? Or, what if we don't have enough money? We might not even live till then, maybe, right?" He explained, totally bent on not promising his girlfriend. "We'll see how in December alright?"
Mabel let go of her hand and looked down despondently. "By then, the rooms might already be fully booked because of the school holidays." She muttered.
Ken, glad that the conversation was going to an end, returned to his powerpoint project on his laptop. "Don't worry. We'll have a room for sure, alright?"
Mabel kept quiet. She knew that would be the answer for the entire discussion.
*****************************
"So how? You asked Ken already? What he say?" Minmin, Mabel's best friend asked her over the phone that very night.
Minmin had decided to plan a double date for themselves to Batam end of the year. She was ecstatic over that idea and requested for Mabel to ask Ken about it. She was looking forward to a romantic getaway with her boyfriend of one year, Ronny.
Mabel sighed, leaning against the bedpost. "I don't know. I don't think we'll be going. Ken doesn't sound too interested."
"What? Money again huh? But he'll be working by then right?" Minmin asked, her voice thickened with disappointment.
"Yeah. I don't know really. He doesn't seem to keen to go on a holiday. You know, I've been asking him for these two years to take me somewhere for a getaway, but, he never agrees to it. It makes me wonder if he truly wants to make me happy or not." Mabel replied with a heavy sigh. "It seems that each time we talk about this issue, we'll end up quarrelling, or, I'll be left disappointed. That is why I never really ask him anymore until now."
Minmin sighed as well. She felt sad for her girlfriend. From what she knew, Ken hardly even bought Mabel anything for their anniversaries or special occasions, let alone mention about a vacation. However, Mabel always seemed to explain to all her friends that Ken was still a student, so he was actually financially unstable yet to provide her with anything. Besides, Ken did sometimes bought her flowers and gifts on some good days. Mabel appreciated those days with gratitude.
"So how? Not going?" Minmin asked for the final time, her enthusiasm drained away.
Mabel shook her head as if Minmin was infront of her. "Nope. I guess you guys can go ahead."
The girls hung up and Mabel lay in the bed the entire night, determined not to let this matter get to her. She must, and she have to forget about this when morning arrives. That way, the disappointment and pain will all be slept away.
**************************************
The next day in school, Mabel was listless. She still had not gotten over last night's conversation with Minmin. How she wished she could go! Not alone, but with Ken.
Ken came from behind and hugged her. "Boo!" He said cheerfully.
Mabel jumped a little and smiled. "Hey."
Ken always looked good. His brown dyed hair was always styled according to the Japanese fashion magazines and his dress sense was always inspired by some Japanese rock star.
"How? Still unhappy about yesterday?" Ken asked, putting his arm across Mabel's shoulders.
Mabel smiled. "Nope. It's okay." She replied. "Where can we have lunch?" She asked, determined to avoid any question Ken might be asking regarding yesterday's conversation. She knew that it could be trouble if they continued yesterday's discussion.
They had lunch at a nearby school canteen. The best part about this couple was that both of them were students from the same local polytechnic. That way, they could meet for lunch daily and enjoy each other's company. However, on somedays, Mabel felt different. She felt that the mood for love was fading fast and Ken was not doing anything to salvage the entire situation.
"Are you still upset that we can't go on a vacation on December?" Ken asked, taking a sip of his Coke.
At last, the question she could not avoid.
Mabel shrugged. "I rather not talk about it."
Ken threw a glance at the petite girl. "Still upset right? I knew it. I'm just useless. Other people's boyfriends can take them for vacations, and your boyfriend can't. Yeah, I know." He muttered.
Mabel put her fork down and wiped her mouth with a piece of tissue. "Will you please, please stop saying that?"
"True right? I can't give you this, can't give you that. What you want, I can't give. Just because I'm poor, I'm useless. Is that it?" Ken probed, sitting back against the chair.
Mabel took a deep breath and sat up. "I said, no. Will you please drop it? It's no use talking about these now."
Mabel was trying to be patient.
She wanted to scream, "YES! Why won't you even attempt to try to make me happy?! Why? Even if you're poor, there are things you CAN do to make me happy! Why won't you even try?! Even if you promise me now that we CAN go on a vacation, if by then, something DO crop up or we lack money, at least we can DO something about it. Right now, you're like passing off a death sentence when November isn't even here yet!"
Ken rolled his eyes and looked away. "Whatever okay? I'm not as capable as Ronny. Not so rich. Cannot take you to a holiday. Okay? Useless me, okay?"
Mabel hated the way he put himself down during fights like that. He knew that Mabel would never agree that he was useless. That way, he could maybe, get Mabel to apologise and forget about the whole matter.
However, Mabel had been through this phase so many times, she no longer felt the need to apologise or feel sorry for him. If he had really felt sorry for himself, he would have done something more to make this relationship work out better.
They kept quiet for awhile. People sitting around them were now glancing over at their table, whispering amongst themselves. Ken's facial expression definitely was not helping.
"Look, let's just forget about this alright? I'll never ask for us to go for a holiday again. Whenever you think you are ready, you take me. I'll not ask again." Mabel sighed, giving in to this situation.
However, Ken did not take this positively.
"So now, you want to speak like that? You will not ask again? Why? Because I always disappoint you right? If you have the money, you go! You yourself have no money and yet you speak of me like that." He retorted.
Mabel threw the used tissue on the table angrily. "Fine! Is that what it's going to be like? You're now saying that because I AM poor, we're can't go on a holiday? Is that it? Or, should I say, it's because WE are poor? If, your dad ain't working, and your mom has cancer, you would have understood how much money means to me!" She cried, "All you think is yourself, yourself, yourself. What about me? All I ask for is a vacation with you. I don't care if we're going Malaysia or Batam or Bangkok. As long as we can go away to somewhere where you and I can relax and be happy, I don't care! You get it? That's why I want to go on a vacation so badly! If you don't understand me, go away!"
She stood up angry and grabbed her bag. She had enough. She could never believe how her boyfriend just put her down for having not enough money. It was true. She used her boyfriend's money for meals occasionally because she do not get much pocket money from her parents because of her jobless father, and an ailing mother who struggled to work.
She thought Ken understood all the while, but she was wrong. To him, she was always the one who was unreasonable and not sensible.
"Fine, if that's the case, there's no need to continue to be together." She muttered and walked off.
Mabel's heart was broken. Through and through.
*************************************
The cool breeze blew at her face as she sat on a white chair, facing the beautiful sunset.
Mabel took a sip of her cocktail and enjoyed every bit of the serenity Batam had in store for her.
Minmin and Ronny were running around in the water, with Minmin screaming her head off as Ronny attempted to catch her. Mabel smiled at the sweet couple.
December have arrived, and this was her vacation.
This was heaven. Her long awaited holiday.
The couple had been together for two years, but have never travelled together, reason mainly due to financial constraints.
Ken groaned and shook off his girlfriend's pleading grasp. "It's not that I don't want to go with you. It's really because of money problems. Besides, end of the year is still a good six months away."
"But, we can plan right? We plan well, then you get a job in October. Then we can go to Batam in December! It's our third year anniversary too!" Mabel urged, nudging her boyfriend again.
This time, Ken got slightly frustrated.
"I told you, we can plan later. When we have the money, and when I get the job. Besides, we don't know what might happen in December right? What if, something crops up and we can't go? Or, what if we don't have enough money? We might not even live till then, maybe, right?" He explained, totally bent on not promising his girlfriend. "We'll see how in December alright?"
Mabel let go of her hand and looked down despondently. "By then, the rooms might already be fully booked because of the school holidays." She muttered.
Ken, glad that the conversation was going to an end, returned to his powerpoint project on his laptop. "Don't worry. We'll have a room for sure, alright?"
Mabel kept quiet. She knew that would be the answer for the entire discussion.
*****************************
"So how? You asked Ken already? What he say?" Minmin, Mabel's best friend asked her over the phone that very night.
Minmin had decided to plan a double date for themselves to Batam end of the year. She was ecstatic over that idea and requested for Mabel to ask Ken about it. She was looking forward to a romantic getaway with her boyfriend of one year, Ronny.
Mabel sighed, leaning against the bedpost. "I don't know. I don't think we'll be going. Ken doesn't sound too interested."
"What? Money again huh? But he'll be working by then right?" Minmin asked, her voice thickened with disappointment.
"Yeah. I don't know really. He doesn't seem to keen to go on a holiday. You know, I've been asking him for these two years to take me somewhere for a getaway, but, he never agrees to it. It makes me wonder if he truly wants to make me happy or not." Mabel replied with a heavy sigh. "It seems that each time we talk about this issue, we'll end up quarrelling, or, I'll be left disappointed. That is why I never really ask him anymore until now."
Minmin sighed as well. She felt sad for her girlfriend. From what she knew, Ken hardly even bought Mabel anything for their anniversaries or special occasions, let alone mention about a vacation. However, Mabel always seemed to explain to all her friends that Ken was still a student, so he was actually financially unstable yet to provide her with anything. Besides, Ken did sometimes bought her flowers and gifts on some good days. Mabel appreciated those days with gratitude.
"So how? Not going?" Minmin asked for the final time, her enthusiasm drained away.
Mabel shook her head as if Minmin was infront of her. "Nope. I guess you guys can go ahead."
The girls hung up and Mabel lay in the bed the entire night, determined not to let this matter get to her. She must, and she have to forget about this when morning arrives. That way, the disappointment and pain will all be slept away.
**************************************
The next day in school, Mabel was listless. She still had not gotten over last night's conversation with Minmin. How she wished she could go! Not alone, but with Ken.
Ken came from behind and hugged her. "Boo!" He said cheerfully.
Mabel jumped a little and smiled. "Hey."
Ken always looked good. His brown dyed hair was always styled according to the Japanese fashion magazines and his dress sense was always inspired by some Japanese rock star.
"How? Still unhappy about yesterday?" Ken asked, putting his arm across Mabel's shoulders.
Mabel smiled. "Nope. It's okay." She replied. "Where can we have lunch?" She asked, determined to avoid any question Ken might be asking regarding yesterday's conversation. She knew that it could be trouble if they continued yesterday's discussion.
They had lunch at a nearby school canteen. The best part about this couple was that both of them were students from the same local polytechnic. That way, they could meet for lunch daily and enjoy each other's company. However, on somedays, Mabel felt different. She felt that the mood for love was fading fast and Ken was not doing anything to salvage the entire situation.
"Are you still upset that we can't go on a vacation on December?" Ken asked, taking a sip of his Coke.
At last, the question she could not avoid.
Mabel shrugged. "I rather not talk about it."
Ken threw a glance at the petite girl. "Still upset right? I knew it. I'm just useless. Other people's boyfriends can take them for vacations, and your boyfriend can't. Yeah, I know." He muttered.
Mabel put her fork down and wiped her mouth with a piece of tissue. "Will you please, please stop saying that?"
"True right? I can't give you this, can't give you that. What you want, I can't give. Just because I'm poor, I'm useless. Is that it?" Ken probed, sitting back against the chair.
Mabel took a deep breath and sat up. "I said, no. Will you please drop it? It's no use talking about these now."
Mabel was trying to be patient.
She wanted to scream, "YES! Why won't you even attempt to try to make me happy?! Why? Even if you're poor, there are things you CAN do to make me happy! Why won't you even try?! Even if you promise me now that we CAN go on a vacation, if by then, something DO crop up or we lack money, at least we can DO something about it. Right now, you're like passing off a death sentence when November isn't even here yet!"
Ken rolled his eyes and looked away. "Whatever okay? I'm not as capable as Ronny. Not so rich. Cannot take you to a holiday. Okay? Useless me, okay?"
Mabel hated the way he put himself down during fights like that. He knew that Mabel would never agree that he was useless. That way, he could maybe, get Mabel to apologise and forget about the whole matter.
However, Mabel had been through this phase so many times, she no longer felt the need to apologise or feel sorry for him. If he had really felt sorry for himself, he would have done something more to make this relationship work out better.
They kept quiet for awhile. People sitting around them were now glancing over at their table, whispering amongst themselves. Ken's facial expression definitely was not helping.
"Look, let's just forget about this alright? I'll never ask for us to go for a holiday again. Whenever you think you are ready, you take me. I'll not ask again." Mabel sighed, giving in to this situation.
However, Ken did not take this positively.
"So now, you want to speak like that? You will not ask again? Why? Because I always disappoint you right? If you have the money, you go! You yourself have no money and yet you speak of me like that." He retorted.
Mabel threw the used tissue on the table angrily. "Fine! Is that what it's going to be like? You're now saying that because I AM poor, we're can't go on a holiday? Is that it? Or, should I say, it's because WE are poor? If, your dad ain't working, and your mom has cancer, you would have understood how much money means to me!" She cried, "All you think is yourself, yourself, yourself. What about me? All I ask for is a vacation with you. I don't care if we're going Malaysia or Batam or Bangkok. As long as we can go away to somewhere where you and I can relax and be happy, I don't care! You get it? That's why I want to go on a vacation so badly! If you don't understand me, go away!"
She stood up angry and grabbed her bag. She had enough. She could never believe how her boyfriend just put her down for having not enough money. It was true. She used her boyfriend's money for meals occasionally because she do not get much pocket money from her parents because of her jobless father, and an ailing mother who struggled to work.
She thought Ken understood all the while, but she was wrong. To him, she was always the one who was unreasonable and not sensible.
"Fine, if that's the case, there's no need to continue to be together." She muttered and walked off.
Mabel's heart was broken. Through and through.
*************************************
The cool breeze blew at her face as she sat on a white chair, facing the beautiful sunset.
Mabel took a sip of her cocktail and enjoyed every bit of the serenity Batam had in store for her.
Minmin and Ronny were running around in the water, with Minmin screaming her head off as Ronny attempted to catch her. Mabel smiled at the sweet couple.
December have arrived, and this was her vacation.
This was heaven. Her long awaited holiday.
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