The Letter

The cool wind was brushing against June's delicate cheeks when she walked down the school's level corridor, holding onto a letter in a light pink envelope against her chest.


It was recess time and the students were scattered everywhere about the school's compound. Some students were playing cards in their classes and some of them were trying to flip the pages of their textbooks to prepare for their upcoming test after recess.


June pushed her spectacles against her nose nervously and stopped outside a classroom with some boys running about, and the girls sitting around, gossiping about who broke up with who, and who got together with who.


June shifted her feet close together and held onto her envelope tighter. A drop of perspiration dripped off a strand of hair at the side of her left ear. She was about to brace herself for the special moment when the level's reknown notorious girl tapped on her shoulder from behind.


"Oei, fatty. You stand here for what? Act Buddha is it?"


That girl's name is Shina Wong. She was a rather petite girl, with a very pretty face. That made her the belle of that level for that particular year. She might be notorious, but Shina always made sure she did well in her studies. Therefore, there were more reasons to befriend her, than to hate her. Shina had many devoted followers, some as young as the Secondary One students.
That year, she had her hair permed like her favourite Taiwanese idol, Jolin Tsai, and within days, you could spot some similar heads around at school.


That was how influential Shina was.


As usual, she had two other girls standing behind her, acting like bodyguards.


June bowed her head timidly and wiped off the sweat glistening on her forehead.


"Oei, ask you question you don't know how to reply is it? What you doing here infront of my classroom? This is MY class. Isn't your class downstairs?" Shina asked impatiently, tapping her foot against the ground.


June cleared her throat and glanced up at Shina slowly. "I..."


One of Shina's follower, Tingting, interrupted with a mock. "I think she's here to give love letter. You see what she's holding."


Shina's attention immediately went over the the pink envelope June was clutching onto tightly. It no longer looked as neat as before, June had almost crushed the entire envelope.


Quickly, June hid the envelope behind her back.


"No. I'm here to find..." She quickly thought of who she knew in this class. "Find... Huiting! Ya! She promised to go for recess with me, but I couldn't find her." June replied.


Shina raised a brow suspiciously. "I just came back from the canteen and she was just there, eating with Raine and girls. Did you try the canteen?"


June let out a nervous laughter. "Oh yes. Canteen! Why didn't I think of that? Okay. I'll go down and look for her. Thanks Shina!" As quickly as she could, June did her best to walk as fast as she her legs could carry her away from that level.


Shina stood behind her and watched June's overweight body disappear down the stairs.


***********************************************


June ran into the toilet and hid herself in a cubicle. Panting and gasping for breath, she was convinced that Shina did not tail her. Sitting on the toilet seat, she patted her chest and took deep breaths. She knew that being overweight was not healthy, but she knew she could never live without food.


She realised that she was still clutching onto the pink envelope, now crumbled and wet with her persperation. June released her grip and smoothened out the envelope against her lap.


"I'm so useless! I can't even bring myself to give this letter to him! I'm so stupid!" She mumbled to herself as tears welled her eyes. She pressed against the letter on her lap and rubbed it angrily.


Fed up with this outcome and her cowardice, June crushed the envelope again and threw it into a wastepaper basket beside the toilet seat.


She wiped the tears off her eyes and went out of the toilet, determined not to look back at what happened that morning.


What she did not know was, Shina was right beside her cubicle all the while.


After June left, Shina went into the cubicle June was in a moment ago, and picked up the letter from the wastepaper basket. Quietly, she slipped the envelope into her pocket and left the toilet, convinced that June had most likely returned back to class.


********************************************

"Stop it lah! You nothing better to do is it?!" Chung Kai shouted irritatedly as his classmate, John, hit him on his head from behind.

John laughed and slumped himself in the seat infront of Chung Kai. "Seriously, you need to take a chill pill. You take things so damn seriously."

Chung Kai leaned back comfortably as the classroom filled itself with chatters. "I take everything seriously, except girls. You can never believe what they say. Like that Shina, remember? She told me that she would be my girlfriend after mid-year exams, then uptil now, you see, got difference or not? All lies lah! Girls love to pretend only."

As if speaking of the devil, Shina slapped Chung Kai from the back. "Speaking ill of me? I really don't like that. Especially it's behind my back. Just for your information, being with you is a choice, not an obligation. So stop pretending that it's something that I must fulfil." She settled down at her seat beside his and arranged her uniform.

Chung Kai rolled his eyes at John who was laughing his head off.

"I think I found a love letter for you. You may want to read it." Shina started, taking out a crushed, pink envelope out of her pocket.

Chung Kai looked at the envelope in awe. How could this be a love letter? It looked so dirty and slightly wet. He was reluctant to open up the envelope.

"You're kidding me right? Make me happy, then some stupid shit happens. It's always your game, Shina." Chung Kai spoke with irk and pushed the letter back at Shina's desk.

The girl with a ponytail looked at him with surprise. "Don't you want to open it up? I went through alot to get this back for you. It was from a trash. In the toilet, okay?"

Chung Kai stood up. "All the more, I wouldn't touch it. Giving me trash. Thanks, Shina." With that, he walked to the front of the classroom and started talking to another classmate.

*************************************************

Chung Kai was walking home from school that day in his sluggish look, his hair in a mess, and his shirt tucked out. His bag was slung over his shoulder loosely as he made his way towards the bus stop opposite his school.

Chung Kai is relatively good looking, with big eyes and a sporty look. He was as tall as 180cm, with girls from other class gushing over his presence. He knew who June was, in fact, he was guilty for calling her "FAT ASS JUNE" behind her back. She was always eating, as far as he could remember.

He was in love with Shina. In fact, he had a crush on her since Secondary Two when the both of them were seated together. However, he never made that known because Shina was always popular amongst all the other guys in the level, and some seniors. He was happy just being her "partner."

Chung Kai stood under the bus stop shelter with some other students from the same school. Cars were whizzing past him as he waited patiently for his bus. He had a long day at school. Suddenly, he recalled the envelope Shina attempted to give him this morning.

What was Shina trying to show? What was in the envelope? What love letter was that? The thought of someone actually tried to write him a love letter made Chung Kai blush a little. He was aware that some girls took slightly more notice of him here and there, but to write a love letter and make some feelings known, this was the first time. For a short while, he kind of regretted rejecting the letter.

Soon, his bus arrived with students packed like sardines in it. Chung Kai moaned inwardly as he boarded the bus. As he made his way up the first step, he was suddenly pushed by a large force from behind, he nearly fell flat on the ground.

"Oei!" He shouted irritatedly as he spun around and spotted June attempting to squeeze herself up the bus with the doors closing right behind her hair.

The bus jerked and moved out of the curb. June heaved a sigh of relief as she looked up from where she stood and was shocked for words when she saw Chung Kai right infront of her. His face was filled with disgust, refusing to throw her a second glance. She realised that the person she pushed earlier on was him and looked down.

For awhile, she hated herself. She hated herself for sweating like a pig when everyone else still smelt good after a long day at school. She hated herself for rushing for the bus from a distance. She hated to be up on this bus where she had to squeeze her fat self in. Most of all, she hated herself for pushing Chung Kai. The boy she loved dearly for four years.

The bus stopped at the next stop and the door creaked open awkwardly as June's body hindered the doors from opening widely. She shifted her body and took a step up as the crowd started to move in when a few students alighted at this particular stop. She stood beside Chung Kai and felt her heart beating quickly. She took several side glances at him and smiled to herself secretly, happy to be standing so near him. It did not matter, on the spot, that he did not speak to her. She was happy the way they were. Strangers, yet schoolmates, and standing side by side, not speaking a word.

As June indulged herself in this short moment of happiness, the bus braked suddenly and she fell freely on Chung Kai who was supporting himself while holding onto a passenger seat. As June's heavy body landed on his, his grip came loose and the both of them fell in an awkward position where June lay on top of Chung Kai.

Everyone in the bus was staring at the both of them. Some people muttered amongst themselves, and some were laughing softly at this hilarious sight.

June realised that her skirt was all the way up at the back, exposing a large portion of her fat thighs. Trying her very best, she attempted to stand up.

Chung Kai was on his elbows as he tried to push June out of the way. He was embarrassed through and through. He wanted to scream at her. He wanted to push her away. He wanted to get off the bus and forget about this whole incident.

"I... I'm sorry." June muttered as she made her way up on her two feet finally when the bus stopped at a traffic. She pulled the skirt down at the back.

Chung Kai stood up and threw her the pair of spectacles that fell on him earlier on. When the bus stopped at the next bus stop, he alighted immediately, wishing he never seen her.

Meanwhile, June continued her journey in the bus. She found a seat and sat down. In her mind, were a thousand thoughts. She knew that Chung Kai hated her, and now, even more.

She felt like crying. She buried her face in her hands and allowed the tears to come freely.

*************************************

Chung Kai reached home half an hour later than usual. He threw his bag on the bed and threw himself on it. With his hands behind his back, the incident that happened on the bus came back to him. Blinking quickly, he tried to push away the images that came flashing into his mind.

"Oh, that fat ass." He muttered under his breath and sat up. He opened up his schoolbag and saw a pink envelope sticking out of one of his textbooks.

Sitting up straight, he took out the envelope and looked at the front.

FOR : WEE CHUNG KAI

Curious, he opened up the envelope and took out a pink, slightly crushed, perfumed paper and unfolded it.

Dearest Kai,

You'll probably be very shocked to receive this letter from me. Please believe that it took me alot of courage to write this to you, and even more courage to personally hand this over to you. We're graduating this year and after this year, I know that we might not meet again.

My parents have arranged for me to pursue my college education in the United States after the O levels results are out, but I told them that I needed time to think about it, because there is someone here that I cannot put down, and that someone is you.

I liked you since we were in Secondary Two. Remember the time when I fell at the school canteen and you offered your hand to help me up? I saw the most angelic pair of eyes. I couldn't help but fall for you then. But you took me by surprise when you released my hand almost immediately after I got up and walked off without even turning back. Only then did I realise that the reason you let go of me was because your group of friends were looking over at you, and you would be laughed at for helping me.

I understood all that. I really did. You didn't know how much you meant to me back then. Just when I thought everyone else was making fun of me, there you were, lending me a helping hand. Do you know what that really meant to me? Then I saw you around in school, with Shina. I somehow know that you're in love with her. Who wouldn't? She's pretty and influential. Any boy would die to be with her. But, I didn't mind watching you from far. In fact, with you around, everything seemed perfectly fine.

You might not have noticed me before, because I am just a very ordinary figure in school.

I know that I should not ask for too much, but if you are willing to try to accept me, I promise you I will be beautiful, just for you. Please let me know before we graduate from this school.

I will be happy to know what you think, even if it's negative. Whatever you do, just don't ignore me.

Thank you.


Yours, June Tan

Chung Kai crushed the paper angrily and threw it into a wastepaper basket accurately from a distance. He lay back in bed and tossed and turned. How could have attracted such a girl? He regretted helping her up back then. He should have minded his own business.

***************************************

Years flew by. Chung Kai was taking up business studies in a local university when fate came knocking at his door again.

He was exceling in his modules and he loved what he did. He was active in sports and school's activities, it never occurred to him that being single was a bad thing after all. He loved his freedom and decided to keep all the good ladies around him as friends.

Shina was in the same school as him, but she was already in her last year. Chung Kai had to serve his national service, so, Shina pursued her education earlier. The both of them dated for awhile in Junior College, but broke up when Chung Kai entered national service. They realised that, they were not suitable for each other after two years of compromising and quarrels. Hence, they decided to remain as friends.

It was the school holidays. Chung Kai decided to take up a temporary job as a photography assistant for a modeling agency. He loved photography, but his parents objected violently when he requested to pursue his education in photography. Therefore, he decided to totally make use of all his vacations to do what he likes to do.

He was attached to a very famous photographer, Jim Loh. Chung Kai found himself lucky to work with such a talent. He took photos of many celebrities during functions and award shows, and even made it to one of the top photographers in Hollywood, America.

However, working with Jim was not easy. Jim was a perfectionist. Every lighting and angle had to be precise and Chung Kai often got scolded for not being "serious" in the job.

That day, Chung Kai was busy getting the area ready for a photoshoot for Fann Wong when someone tapped him on his shoulder.

He turned around from the backdrop and saw a girl about his age, in a white cap, looking at him in big round eyes. She was wearing a pair of black rectangular shaped spectacles and her skin was fair and almost translucent. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and placed through the small opening at the back of her cap.

"Excuse me, I'm so sorry. But can you tell me where Jim is?" She asked, her face blushing under the hot sun. She must have ran because the brim of her T-shirt was damp with her own persperation.

Chung Kai took a second to stop himself from looking at her and pointed behind her shoulder. "Right behind the wooden door."

The girl smiled and Chung Kai almost melted at the sight of her sweet smile and straight white teeth. She hugged her books and adjusted her spectacles. "Thank you."

With that, she turned her back towards him and walked towards Jim's direction. Chung Kai stood there for a good three minute looking at her backview. She was slim and dressed in a black "ROCK N ROLL" T-shirt and a pair of white mini pants. Her legs were long and lengthy. His gaze ended at her pair of worn out white sneakers. For awhile, he thought he might just have a crush on her.

"Pretty hor!" A voice woke him up from his daze.

It was Shina. She was standing beside him, tip toeing to shout into his ear. Chung Kai is almost a head taller than she is.

"What are you talking about? Must you shout?" Chung Kai asked as he returned to his backdrop decoration, ignoring Shina's presence.

Shina giggled. "I know what you're thinking. She's not bad lah. Look abit like those Japanese actresses. You haven't been dating for 3 years, I think you should try this one." She suggested, helping Chung Kai to glue up the corner of the backdrop.

Chung Kai kept quiet as he continued to apply glue to the other side of the board.

"Besides, it's time for you to want to settle down. Your mom has been calling me recently and asking me if you're seeing anyone. Feels like I'm some matchmaker or something. So save me all these trouble and find yourself a girlfriend for fuck sake." Shina went on, tapping on the sides lightly to ensure that the poster stayed.

Chung Kai looked at Shina. "What are you doing here today?"

Shina returned the look with a grin. "I've came to pass you the news that there's this Secondary school gathering next week. You're invited."

"Can't you just call me?" He replied, putting the glue brush back into the tin of glue.

Shina giggled again. "I missed you what! Okay lah! You want to go grab some dinner? I'm hungry you know."

Chung Kai shook his head and removed his glove. "No. I'm having it here. Jim bought packet rice for everyone."

Shina raised an eyebrow and went close to Chung Kai. "Hopefully, that girl stays for dinner too huh!" She teased and walked off before he could say anything. "Bye! I'll tell you where the gathering will be held."

Chung Kai looked forward at the direction where that girl was. She was talking to Jim enthusiastically with her hand gestures and several wide smiles.

Strangely, during that moment, he wanted to know what they were talking about.

Most importantly, he was surprised at his own overwhelming interest in this lady.

*************************************

The day to the gathering arrived faster than expected for Chung Kai who had been extremely busy for the past week. Jim was flying off to Japan soon and he had to hurry with some unfinished photoshoots in Singapore. Chung Kai had been working overtime for the past few days he barely had enough sleep. It was fine for the young lad though, considering the fact that he earned himself more during the overtime tasks.

Everyone was to gather at Harbour Front MRT Station before heading off together to the restaurant for a good buffet dinner. Chung Kai arrived slightly later than the appointed time because he overslept. His ex schoolmates were voicing out their displeasure at his lack of punctuality jokingly.

"Okay lah. Here I am right? Can we go?" Chung Kai asked, tucking his hands into his bermuda's side pockets.

One of the gossip girls that was known back in school, Jamie, shook her head as she scrolled down the list of guests using her index finger against the attendance sheet. "Wait. June. June Tan is coming."

Everyone started to murmur to each other. Nobody could forget that fat, nerdy girl who got made fun of every single day at school. It was rumoured that she had gone to the United States to pursue her college. Everyone felt slightly bad at the thought of the obese girl who did nothing to hurt them.

"She's back? I thought she's in the States?" Chung Kai asked, remembering the letter that June wrote to him almost six years back. He shifted his position uncomfortably as he remembered how sad June was when he returned to school the next day, and shouted at her for being stupid and clumsy. June ran off into the ladies for a long time before she came out and have avoided Chung Kai since then.

Ming Kok, one of Chung Kai's buddy rested an arm across Chung Kai's broad shoulders and smirked. "She's back, baby! She's back! What if she's bigger than before?"

Shina nudged Ming Kok playfully. "That's so bad lah!"

Ming Kok looked at Shina with puppy eyes. "Oh! Is that Shina the Meanie telling me that I'm very bad?"

Shina giggled. "Please lah. That was so long ago. I stopped being a bitch since JC days okay."

That was true. Shina toned down quite abit after she attended Junior College. That was when Chung Kai found the confidence to speak to her, and ask for dates.

"Well, that's good to hear, Shina." A female's voice replied to that comment Shina made from behind.

Shina spun around and everyone's gaze fell on a beautiful girl with fair skin. Her hair was falling loosely down her shoulders and she was dressed in a white baby doll dress and a pair of ballet flats. She had a little make up on and her eyes were sparkling with a little tinge of brown.

Everyone was quiet for a moment, absorbing the sight of this beautiful girl. Nobody remembered exactly if their school had such a pretty girl. The guys were mentally flipping through all the pretty girls they saw at school six years ago, trying to find a name to fit into this face.

However, Chung Kai remembered. She was the exact same girl who came to the photoshooting set the other day. His heart leapt a beat.

"You!" He exclaimed, breaking the silence. "Photoshoot, Jim.."

The girl placed a hand over her mouth and smiled. "Oh! Yes! You!" She laughed. "Small world. You were from Christmount too!"

Chung Kai returned the smile. "Yes. What about you? I don't remember a girl like you at school."

Everyone was looking at the both of them now. They were puzzled at their conversation. How did Chung Kai get to know such a pretty girl?

The girl rolled her eyes and smiled widely. "It's me! June! June Tan!"

Everyone almost fell back. June?! June Tan?! The fat, nerdy, bespected girl with a huge school bag?! June?!

"June?" Ming Kok croaked, trying to understand the whole situation. It had to be a joke. It had to be.

The girl giggled. "Yes. It's me. Can't you guys recognise me?"

Shina's mouth was wide open. "You.. You're fat June?"

June nodded grabbing onto Shina's shoulder. "Yes! You big bully! I can never forget what you did to me!" She chuckled and gave her a bear hug. "But it's really nice to see you again."

Shina was limp against the hug.

All the while, Chung Kai was glued to the floor. He could not speak, neither could he say anything.

All he could remember was the scene where she fell on top of him years back. Who could have thought that June would be so beautiful?

**************************************************

The dinner was mostly on June. They had not been catching up for years and everyone was curious at the 180 degrees change in the girl. The questions were bombarding her like no tomorrow.

"What did you do when you go back?"

"How did you become so pretty?"

"How is college there?"

"Why are you back?'

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

The last question somehow caught Chung Kai's attention as he looked up for the first time from his plate of food. He realised that he was not the only one who did that. The other guys around the table did the same. There was a short, awkward pause amongst them. The girl who popped the question, Raine, was looking at June with large, expectant eyes.

June shifted uncomfortably in her seat and forced an awkward smile. "No."

The girls chorused, "no?!"

The boys were muttering their "thank god" under their breaths and went back to their food.

Chung Kai heaved a sigh of relief and went back to his fried rice.

"But why? You're so pretty!" Raine asked in a cute voice, shaking June's arm lightly. June will never forget how cute Raine was even back in Secondary school days.

June blushed under the dim lightings and poked her food around with her fork. She took a quick glance at Chung Kai who was sitting opposite her and looked away shyly when he returned the gaze.

She remembered how shocked she felt when she was introduced to this particular guy by her friends as Chung Kai. She was even more surprised that they met earlier on, and had actually spoken to each other without even knowing that they actually DID know each other.

What a small world indeed.

"Oh! Chung Kai is it? You still waiting for him?" Shina teased, noticing the shy exchange of glances.

June kept quiet, and Chung Kai did the same too.

The other friends around the table were now teasing them mercilessly. The both of them looked down shyly, and did not speak to each other the entire night.

*********************************

"Send her home!" Shina insisted, pushing June to Chung Kai who held out a hand to prevent June from falling.

"It's okay! I can go home on my own." June replied shyly, pushing her hair behind her left ear and stood a step away from Chung Kai.

John looked at Chung Kai. "We boys are giving you a chance to send June home leh! Can you please be more gentlman or not?"

Other guys were supporting John's statement by cheering Chung Kai on.

"Let's go. We'll leave these two here to settle their way home." Shina suggested, grabbing Raine's arm.

Very soon, the group dispersed and left the two of them standing side by side, awkward with the situation.

June coughed lightly and broke the silence. "Erm. I can go home on my own." She spoke with a smile.

Chung Kai shook his head. "No. I'll send you back. No worries. Let's go." He replied and walked towards the staircase to the taxi stand. June followed behind.

When they were walking side by side down the stairs, Chung Kai spoke. "So, I never really had a chance to ask. Why did you look for Jim the other day?"

"Oh. Jim. Right. I was his model back in the U.S. I came back the other day and went immediately to find him regarding my pay cheque. He delayed his payment, you see." June replied.

Chung Kai raised an eyebrow. "Oh, did he pay you yet?"

June smiled as a cool breeze blew at her soft cheeks. "Yes. He told me he had some cash flow problem some time back. He apologised and everything is well." She replied and looked at Chung Kai. "What about you? Why were you there?"

The both of them were strolling down the pathway towards the taxi stand.

"Oh. I was working temporarily for Jim. Earn some extra cash, you know. And besides, I love photography." He replied, tucking his hands into his pockets.

June whispered. "Oh."

The two of them remained quiet till they boarded a cab.

"Uncle, Bukit Timah, Hillview Heights." June told the uncle and the taxi moved out of the curb.

Chung Kai looked at June. "Oh. You living with your family?"

June shook her head. "My parents are in America. This apartment is rent to me for a month."

Chung Kai nodded. "Oh."

June looked out of the window and watched Singapore past her by. Things have changed since the last time she stayed here.

As if reading her thoughts, Chung Kai said, "Singapore have changed alot, right?"

June nodded and smiled. "Yes. Quite abit. Especially this place that used to be World Trade Centre. Now it even has a big shopping mall. It's amazing."

Chung Kai laughed. "It's been THAT many years huh? You've changed quite abit. No longer the same old fat June that fell on me in Secondary school."

June recalled the incident vividly. It felt as though it happened yesterday.

"I ... I am sorry for that incident. It must have terribly embarrassing." She apologised.

Chung Kai laughed again. "No problem, silly. Not a problem."

For the rest of the journey, the both of them remained quiet. No one mentioned the letter until they arrived at June's place. They got off the taxi and that was when Chung Kai brought up the subject.

"Erm, June." He started.

June stopped at her pace and looked at the tall, handsome guy standing right next to her.

"There's always been something I wish to say to you, but I never had the guts to." He went on, walking towards a bench under her apartment and sat on it. June followed and sat beside him.

"I am very sorry about the letter incident. I was immature and stupid-"

"It's fine. It's alright. You should have reacted that way at that time. I was not that sort a boy would date. So I totally understand." June interrupted, fiddling with the strap of her white bag. "It's been so long, it no longer hurts."

For awhile, Chung Kai felt extremely sorry. It felt so bad he felt like crying, just letting it out like a baby, but he knew that he had to hold it in, because the simple fact that he is a man, he must not let it out.

"Hey! Don't be so sad. I am fine." June spoke cheerily, patting Chung Kai's shoulder.

Chung Kai looked at June, "don't you hate me at all? I was really mean to you."

June looked away, her smile still transfixed on her face, but there was a slight tint of sadness in her eyes. "I did. After all, you were my first crush. I hated you only when you shouted at me at school. It was humiliating and I felt like I totally regretted writing a letter to you. If you hadn't known, probably, I wouldn't be laughed at during the remaining days at school."

Chung Kai covered his face in his hands. "I- I'm so sorry."

June giggled and face him again. "Hey. I told you, it's totally fine. We're all grown ups now. Right?"

Chung Kai looked up from his hands and held onto June's hand that was resting on his lap. "If, there's a chance for us to get together, will you come back to me?"

June withdrew her hand and looked away. "I don't think now it's right time to talk about this."

She stood up and with her back facing Chung Kai, she continued. "I wouldn't like a guy, who loves me only for what I am. I may look like this now, but inside me, it's still the old fat June. Always."

She turned around and smiled. "How I wish you told me all that when we were in Secondary school. Everything is not possible now. Good night Chung Kai. It was really nice to see you again."

She bent over and gave him a hug. "You still look so good." She spoke as she released the hug. "Exactly the same Chung Kai I used to know back then."

*****************************************

A week past and Chung Kai was still thinking of June. He was lying in bed on a weekday morning, looking at June's number on his handphone and navigated away the umpteenth time.

He rolled in bed several times and lay on his chest. He looked at the number again and finally mustered enough courage to give her a call.

It rang for a long time. Chung Kai was about to hang up when the call got through.

"Hello?" A sleepy voice spoke.

Chung Kai held his breath.

"Hello?" The voice repeated.

"Oh.Hi." Chung Kai replied quickly. "It's me, Chung Kai."

There was a pregnant pause. Chung Kai could hear some ruffling sound coming from the other end, as if June was attempting to get up from her bed.

"Oh." Her voice croaked. "Hey."

"Erm. Hi. How have you been this whole week?" Chung Kai asked, sitting up on the bed.

June seemed to have stifled a yawn. "Fine. I am still sleeping now actually. Shina and the girls clubbed with me last night at Butterfactory. I am so wasted."

Chung Kai was a little shocked at Shina's warm hospitality.

"Oh. I was thinking, do you want to go out?" Chung Kai finally popped the question.

He gripped onto his phone and closed his eyes, wishing for a positive answer.

"Yes. We'll make it today. I will be up by twelve. Is that okay?" June replied.

Chung Kai could imagine June getting out of bed.

He hung up the phone after agreeing with the timing and literally jumped for joy.

************************************

At eleven forty five, Chung Kai was standing outside City Hall control station nervously, arranging his collar for the fifth time during his ten minutes wait. He looked at his watch and looked out for June's face when crowds after crowds exited from the ticketing entrances.

"Chung Kai." A small voice called from behind him.

He turned around and saw June in an orange sun dress, smiling at him.

"I came from the other way." She said, pointing to the other row of exits on the other side of the station.

"Oh." Chung Kai laughed. "I thought you might come out from here."

June giggled. "Shall we have lunch? I am starving."

*****************************************

"I'll have the soup of the day to begin with, and..." June ordered and paused as she surveyed the main dishes introduced on the menu with her index finger. "A fish and chips. Kindly send bring my coffee at the end of the meal." She ended her order and closed the menu.

The waiter was scribbling busily on his notepad when Chung Kai made his order. He decided to settle for some steak and some iced tea.

The waiter took the two menus away and walked off.

June smiled, spreading the white table napkin across her thighs. "It's nice to dine here. I never knew this place is beautiful. It must be expensive."

Chung Kai smiled. He was ready to splurge that day. He decided to make this lunch a very memorable one for her. In a way, maybe, he could make up for the hurt he put her through years ago.

Their food arrived and they ate silently, as if two strangers were seated together for the sake of having lunch. It was after their main courses, did they start a conversation over coffee.

"So... You're going back next week?" Chung Kai asked, stirring his iced tea with his straw.

June nodded. "Yeah. Next week. School's starting soon over there. I need to get back for orientation."

Chung Kai leaned back and played with the water droplets condensing outside his glass of iced tea. "Will you ever be back?" He asked, almost in a whisper.

June breathed in sharply and winced at the cold air that pierced her lungs.

Chung Kai realised that and sat up. "Are you alright?" He asked, his eyes tingled with a sense of concern and care.

June forced a smile and hit her chest lightly. She coughed lightly and fumbled for her bag. She took out a bottle of pills and popped one in. She took a quick sip of her water and closed her eyes, her hand still on her chest.

"I think-" Chung Kai started, ready to ask for the bill when June stopped him.

"No. I.. I am fine. I had a bad cough. That's all. I forgot my medicine." She told him as colour started to return to her face. She coughed a little more and took another sip of water. She seemed to have felt better.

Chung Kai looked at June.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

June smiled. She seemed to look better now. "Yes. I am fine. Don't worry."

Chung Kai, in his black T-shirt, smiled, relieved that June was fine. He could not help but realise how fair she was. Her skin was almost translucent. He could see faint lines of her veins and her eyes were sparkling.

"Look June, all these years, I've never forgotten you. I felt very bad towards you the past years. I know I shouldn't do all that to you." Chung Kai started, glad that he finally got to touch the subject that was playing with his emotions for the past one week.

June kept quiet and took a sip of her coffee.

Taking it as a hint to continue, Chung Kai went on, now sitting up. "Now that you are back, I really hope that I can get a chance to date you."

June looked down. "I'm going back next week."

"I know. I will wait for you to come back. As long as you give me an answer, I will wait for you." Chung Kai replied enthusiastically, knowing at once that he will not regret this reply.

June looked up finally, and Chung Kai understood why she looked down. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She looked away quickly and placed the napkin on the table. "I'm sorry." She replied abruptly and walked off, leaving Chung Kai sitting in his chair, totally dazed and clueless at what June meant.

He watched June's body fade away as she ran out of the restaurant.

Chung Kai looked away and tried to hold back his tears.

Days later, news got to him that June had already gone back to America.

**************************************

Time passed and it was a year since June got back to America. Chung Kai was determined to wait for her to come back after her education. He was convinced that, from the pair of eyes he saw during lunch that day, was a sign to show that she still loved him.

"Kai, you have a letter." His mother opened his room door one afternoon and passed a pink envelope to her son.

Chung Kai was sitting by his computer desk. He took the letter and flipped it around. It was from California, America.

June.

He unsealed the envelope with unsteady hands and took out a pink perfumed letter. It was folded exactly the way it was years ago.

Bracing himself, he opened up the letter.

Dear Chung Kai,

Time flies and somehow, the feeling have changed as I wrote this letter. The previous letter was filled with excitement and anxiousness, whereas for this letter, it was filled with lots of sadness and helplessness.

Kai, by the time you read this letter, I might have gone to somewhere more peaceful, with no pain and suffering. I was happy to be back in Singapore to see all of you. It meant more than anything to me. It felt as though I had completed what I had to do on earth. There was no regrets.

I am writing now, sitting up with tubes stuck up my nose, on the hospital bed. Doctor told me that my days were numbered two years back. I had lung cancer, you see. I did not go for chemotherapy because the doctor said it would only extend my life, not save my life. Every chemotherapy would be fruitless.

So, I braved through my days. I have told my mother about sending this letter to you after my crematorial ceremony.

When I saw you last year, I felt sad. I wanted so much to go back to you. I've never stopped loving you, you know. That day, when you screamed at me, I avoided you because it hurt so bad just looking at you. Wanting someone so bad, and yet, you get nothing out of it, the feeling was unbearable.

I am very happy that you acknowledged my love, but the reason for my extreme loss of weight was because of my sickness. I could barely eat and that day, surprisingly, I had an extremely good appetite. Perhaps it was because of you. I felt so much stronger.

I came back to America, feeling complete and also, sorry to you. I wanted to break the news to you that day, but couldn't bring myself to. Sorry I ran off. I just couldn't look at you.

My love for you never faded. Not now, not ever.

Please be strong and stay happy. I wish you happiness.

Thank you for loving me. You made my last days very happy.

I will always be your guardian angel, watching over you.

I love you, Chung Kai.


Yours,
JUNE TAN

Chung Kai crushed the paper and took out a photograph enclosed with the letter.

He held the photograph and bent his head down. He cried.

He never cried harder than this in his life.

The photograph was a picture of fat June in Secondary school, with Chung Kai sitting behind her in the canteen.

Chung Kai was looking at Shina, and June was smiling in the photo.