Singapore Tales

Apologies

2008-08-03T16:06:00.002+08:00

Hello readers. I will be very busy this month, so my new story will only come out end of August. Do visit back here by then! I'll do my best to come up with a very exciting and interesting plot!

:)

Cheers!

I'm Your Fear

2008-07-16T22:16:00.004+08:00

It all started when my family and myself moved into a four room HDB flat in Clementi one year ago. The flat was old and it had been around for decades. The neighbours knew each other, and the families lived in that building harmoniously. I cursed myself that very day I lifted my suitcase into the creaky lift that stopped only on three particular levels, which means that if you live anywhere between the particular levels, you need to use the staircase. Thankfully, father chose a house just a couple of steps from the lift.

When the lift door opened, I was welcomed by the voices of Cantonese opera coming from the house beside ours. It was the Cantonese old lady who told my father that someone died in our flat years ago and several people who stayed in always left within a year. My father, being a staunch Christian, brushed that off as mere rumour and insisted on moving into the dirt cheap, spacious flat.

My mother was against the idea of living in there too, but once my father lay the cards, we all have to obey them.

The house was barely furnished. The living room was sparce except for some simple furnitures. Father had engaged a moving company to shift our furnitures and beds into this house. So, the living room had a dark brown sofa with a little bit of coffee stain on it, a wooden coffee table, and a small television. That was about it. No fan, no fancy lightings.

I moved my suitcase into my room and looked at the small space I was given for my privacy. There were transparent wrappers all over the room, apparently the irresponsibility of the moving company's workers. My bed was resting against the corner of the room, right beside the windows that were facing the common corridor. I stumbled across the room and flipped the stoppers upwards to open up the windows. I needed some sunlight and fresh air. The air in the room was too stagnent and stuffy.

My closet was placed directly at the foot of my bed.

Bad arrangement. I thought.

I decided to leave it be at the moment to be busy with other things more important. I opened up my suitcase and took out my things. I had nothing much to bring along, unlike my mother who brought three suitcases full of her own things. Women, I can never understand them.

I picked up the top layer of T-shirt and found a silver photoframe of a couple smiling happily back at me. I placed the T-shirt I was holding onto the bed and picked up the photoframe.

Betty. She and I were dating for four years before we broke up a year and a half ago. She was my first love, and so was I to her. We were committed to each other. You know - I met her parents, she met mine, we wore each other rings - that sort of commitment. But things got bad when she attended University. I had to serve my National Service, and within that two years, we had our worries and fights. We seemed to be drifting further and further apart. She was the one who spoke of breaking up, and I gladly obliged at that time, happy to shake a burden off. Now that I am out of National Service and is working in a computer company, I realised that I could never forget her, so I was bent on getting her back.

I placed the photoframe on the study desk and continued to unpack. That was when I heard my mother's soft, muffled voice, coming from the living room.

"Look at this house. Is it fit for living?" She asked, her voice almost inaudible.

Father did not respond. Or was it because he could not overcome his own opinion of this house? I listened intentively for a good one minute before I decided to continue unpacking.

Night came faster when I was busy. Before I knew it, darkness engulfed my bedroom.

I flipped on the switch that lit the entire room with a pathetic light bulb and continued to finish unpacking.

******************************************

Things went well on our first night.

It was the second night that something peculiar happened.

I came home from work, totally bushed. I was irritated at the loud volume coming from the Cantonese old lady's flat, blasting Cantonese opera all day long. What I looked forward towards the end of a tiring day was a calm and quiet evening.

My parents were out that evening. There was a note on the fridge handwritten by my mother teling me to settle my dinner on my own because they will be out till late to visit a friend in church.

I threw the note away and decided to boil some water to cook some instant noodles. The gas hissed as I striked a matchstick and started fire at the stove. I placed the small pot with water half filled in it on top of the stove and left the kitchen.

I did not know what happened after I sat in the living room while waiting for my water to boil. What I knew was, when I woke up from a supposedly short nap, the house was overwhelmed with the awful smell of gas. I ran into the kitchen, coughing and gasping for air. The fire was out and the stove was hissing at me like a snake, ready for a deadly attack. I turned off the stove and rushed to open up the windows in the kitchen. I poked my head out of the window and inhaled deeply as I felt fresh oxygen filling my lungs.

Feeling better, I rushed out of the kitchen and opened up the other windows that were closed. The Cantonese opera was still blasting loudly from the neigbour. I slumped into the sofa as I felt the smell of gas escaping the house.

The strange thing was, I could not remember what happened, but what was still fresh in my memory was that, I never closed any window.

Definitely not the kitchen ones because I felt a breeze after I came out of the shower earlier on and even looked outside the window.

Someone's in here.

That was the first thought I had. Instinctively, I sat up and became aware of my surroundings. It was weird, to be aware of one's own home, but then again, it had only been my home for one day.

I walked into the kitchen and was even more surprised when I saw the water in the pot. It was still half full, and that indicated that before the water even start boiling, the fire went out.

I looked around the kitchen and went into the bedrooms. No signs of intruders, no signs of break-ins.

What I didn't know was, that was the first sign of HIM.

****************************************

A couple of days went past without any strange happenings. I was convinced that it was probably my hallucination or it was simply due to fatigue. I brushed that incident off and continued doing what I do everyday.

My parents' relationship, on the other hand, was starting to go downhill. My mother hated this house and nagged at my father's failed business relentlessly. The house often got noisy during evening time and for once, I actually thanked the Cantonese opera blasting from the neighbour.

"Did you look for a new job?" Mom was asking father during dinner.

I gripped onto my chopsticks and stuffed rice into my mouth. Such topics were going to lead to more arguments and I really had enough of that.

Father kept quiet and picked up a piece of pork from a plate and ate it.

Mother dropped her chopsticks by her bowl with a dull "thud" and rubbed her temples. Father reluctantly put down his chopsticks too. The atmosphere was intense. I could hear a fly buzzing around our table.

"James, how many times have I told you to give up this damn business of yours? It's not going to work out." Mother muttered under her breath, still rubbing her temples.

"Give it some time." Father replied.

Mother flipped the chopsticks off the table and her bowl of rice trembled at the edge of the dining table, threatening to drop. "Time, time, time! How much time do we have to give you?! How long more do we have to stay in this shit hole?! It's all because of you and your stupid health business, this had to happen! If you stayed on your previous job and continue saving up the money we have been scrimping and saving all these years, I don't think we'll end up in this house!"

She was close to sobbing towards the end of her argument. I had to stop eating and sit closer to her. I wrapped my arm around her and tried to comfort her. "Ma. It's fine. We'll just give Pa another chance to try it out. Maybe, things might work out?"

Mother stood up from the dining table and walked away despondently, back into the room. Father's face was in his hands. I think, he was also sobbing softly. I understood the necessity of leaving him alone in times like these. I walked into my room quietly as well and decided to complete some paperwork I decided to complete at home. The workload in the office was overwhelming and I had to stop staying back in the office because the air conditioner at the office shuts down automatically by eight. After that, the office would be heating up like sauna.

I opened up my bag and was about to take out my work file when shreds of paper were scattered onto the floor as I lifted the file. I opened up my file and to my horror, the documents in the file were all torn to bits and pieces. I was shocked at what happened. I fell onto my chair and tried to recall anyone who came near my bag.

Jeff. Jeff Teo.

That was it. Jeff Teo was one of my colleagues at work who was competing competitively with me in the office. Everyone was talking about the promising managerial position opened after our previous manager left unexpectedly. Jeff and I were the most possible candidates, so as we were told.

That day, I left my bag at my desk when I picked up a phonecall from Winnie's desk that was three tables away from mine. Winnie had knocked off exactly at six and only a few of us were around. When I hung up the phone, I saw Jeff walking pass my desk and hurried into the pantry.

I threw the file onto the bed and kicked my desk. I was angry, fuming. To think that Jeff would resort to such underhand methods to get that managerial post.

*****************************************

The following day, I went to office slightly earlier. I did not sleep at all for the night, trying to rush out the documents that were shredded. Although I completed only half of what I did the past week, I was comforted that I could maybe, hand in the proposal by the end of next week, which was the dateline.

I was suprised to see Jeff sitting by his desk already, typing away on his keyboard. I was determined to find out why he did what he did.

I marched up to him and threw my black file on his table. He stopped typing and looked up at me, slightly startled, but recovered shortly.

"I think you have alot of explanation to do." I started, resting against his divider.

He swiveled his chair towards me and played with his pen. The ticking sound was irritating me.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

I opened up my bag and took out the folder file that contained the shreds of paper, messily torn. I threw it on the table and looked at him.

"You are really childish, you know? To do such things at your age. It really makes me ashame to be of the same gender as you. It's fucking gay." I was trying my best not to raise my voice or sound angry. I wanted him to admit it before I throw him a heavy punch. I was clenching my fist.

Jeff lifted the folder slightly and looked at me with a puzzled expression. "What is this? I don't know what you are talking about."

I grabbed his tie and pulled him close to me, close enough to smell my coffee breath.

"Look here, Jeff Teo. What you did, was totally unethical and if I ever catch you doing this again, I'll make sure you get it from me. Fucker." I muttered under his nose and threw him back against his chair roughly.

I took my bag and stormed off. It felt good, for once, to vent my anger like this. I have never used violence on anybody, not even the classmate who punched me in Primary school. I was born to learn about peace and love in the name of Jesus. But Jeff really went over the line, plus the fact that I did not sleep for a night, I lost it.

What I did not know was, this was the start of what HE wanted me to do.

To be angry.

****************************************

That night, I went to bed early because I was extremely tired after staying awake for a night and an entire day. Throughout the entire day at work, Jeff looked at me weirdly. I remembered growling at him once, which I have never done so in my life.

At about 3AM, I woke up to a loud knock on my door. I was startled. I sat up and listened intently in the darkness for another knock.

Then it came again. The second knock.

I got the door and peered outside my living room. Nobody. No one. I took a glance at my parents' room and found the door closed.

I closed the door and went back to my room. As I shut the door, I heard a male's laughter coming from the living room. It was low, and almost like a snigger.

I threw opened the door and peered out once again, to find the cushions on the floor. When I opened the door a minute ago, the cushions were nicely placed on the sofa.

I stepped out and braced myself as I walked towards the light switch near my main door. Before I could flip the switch on, I heard the laughter again.

Instinctively, I turned around and saw a dark shadow of a man, standing near my room door, almost three feet away from me. I could not make out his features, but he was tall, taller than me, and slightly well built.

I squinted my eyes at the dark shadow, trying to figure out the features, but realised that I could not, no matter how I strain my eyes.

"Who are you?" I asked, bracing myself, just in case he was some burglar or something.

He sniggered at me again. "I am your fear." He replied, his voice raspy.

"What?" I asked, totally puzzled.

"You're such a loser. You lost your girlfriend, and you are of no help to your poor parents who have to live in this damn house with you. Plus, you are not going to get promoted. Tsk. You're fucking pathetic." The shadow said, and walked over to the sofa. He sat down and looked at me, his head turned to me. "You should just die. Don't you hate your parents? Don't you hate your girlfriend? How about Jeff Teo? Don't you just hate all of them for ruining your life? If you are, why are you not doing anything about it?"

I was almost leaning against the wall now. I was breathless and I felt faint. Why was I even talking to something that was probably not there?

I had to admit, I was totally freaked out. Like what anyone would do, I flipped on the switch and my living room lit up. He was gone. No more shadow, no more voices.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was starting to think, maybe, I starting to go crazy.

My mother came out from her room and looked at me with squinted eyes, due to the bright light. She must have heard me talking to someone.

"Wei ah! Are you okay?" She asked with concern, coming up to me. "You look so pale. Who were you talking to?"

I opened up my eyes and hugged my mother like a five year old child. I was afraid. I was fucking afraid.

And HE knew that too.

********************************************

Things started to go terrible for me. My mother prayed for me every single day, but I just could not shake off the image I saw that night. In fact, after that particular incident, I had been seeing him around me. All the time.

Slowly, I stopped going to work altogether. I could not sleep, therefore, it affected my work performance. My mother adviced me to take a week off work to rest.

Weeks passed and I was still shakened by the experience. Many times, he would appear infront of me, laughing. He was laughing at me. My head ached intolerably and I spent my days in bed, trying to get some sleep. I stopped shaving and I looked dishevelled and skinny. My mother tried to make me eat, but I refused, because whenever I tried to eat something, I would see him, standing at some corner in the room, sniggering at me. He hardly spoke anything, and I could not figure out his features. He was just a dark, evil shadow.

Betty came by one day. Mother must have called her, but strangely enough, she was the last person I wished to see. Not when I looked my worst.

"Mingwei," Betty called out softly as I was curled up like a little baby in my bed. My eyes were closed, but my mind was awake.

She came into my room and sat gently beside me. That was when I realised that the only girl I loved was really there. She touched my shoulder and I opened up my eyes. I was sobbing.

"Mingwei," she repeated herself, touching my face. Her voice sounded so sad, I could feel her sympathy.

"Bet!" I cried aloud and hugged her waist. "I'm so scared. There's a ghost in this house and he's haunting me everyday! I'm really scared!"

Betty hugged me tight. I could never forget how warm her hug was. It was the embrace I needed most at that time.

"Mingwei, there's nothing to be afraid of. You're worrying your parents, you know that?" She asked, her voice light and crisp.

I looked up at her face, and was once again, smittened by her angelic features and long, dark hair. Before I could speak, I saw HIM standing behind her, just two feet away from her.

I sat up immediately and shouted at something behind Betty.

"Stop it! What are you trying to do?! What are you trying to do?!" I asked repeatedly as the dark figure approached Betty. He was laughing. Betty did not seem to realise he was behind her. I doubt she even heard his laughters.

"Betty! Watch it!" I called out, but it was too late, HIS hands were already around her neck, tightening every second. Betty started to struggle. I tried to pull HIS hands away from her, but it seemed as though he was invisible. I was not able to feel him.

Soon, Betty's eyes rolled back and her tongue stuck out horrendously. The sight was grosteque. It was beyond any means of description. When she finally stopped struggling, HE released the girl I used to love so deeply, and disappeared, leaving his sniggers behind.

I was totally shakened by the whole experience. I knelt before Betty and grabbed her warm hands. She was starting to feel cool. I cried. I cried like a helpless child. It was not common for a twenty four year old man to cry like that. I tried to shake her, maybe, she would wake up or something, but nothing like that happened.

Betty was gone. Forever.

************************************************

That evening, I sat beside Betty's lifeless body for a good one hour before my mother came into the room. When she saw Betty lying infront of me, looking tortured and dead, she took several steps back before she started screaming.

"Ma!" I cried and ran after her. She was trying to search for the keys in her handbag.

"Don't... Don't come near me." She was stuttering as she overturned her bag nervously. Her things fell out freely onto the sofa as she went on her knees and started searching for her keys within her belongings.

I was nervous. Why was my mother afraid of me? I was not the murderer! It was HIM!

"Ma! It wasn't me! Really!" I exclaimed, trying to prove to my mother I was innocent. "It was HIM! I swear! You know I will never kill anybody!'

I was moving forward when my mother looked at me with the key in her hand, her eyes filled with terror and tears of fear. Her mascara ran down her cheeks as her tears fell. She was shaking badly. She pointed the key at me and stuttered. "You.. You are the son of the devil! How could you kill Betty?! How could you kill anyone?!" She was crying now.

I stepped forward and she screamed. "STOP! Don't come any nearer! You are no longer the Weiming I used to know! We used to know! You are just a murderer! Everyone told me you're a devil's son but I chose not to believe them and see where it's leading me!"

"Ma! Listen to me-" I was about to explain myself when the shadow appeared behind my mother.

"Get away from her!" I shouted into the air. My mother looked at me with a puzzled look and sniffled at her mucus, her hands still shaking.

"Get lost!" I shouted again.

HE was sniggering at me again. "Tsk, tsk. Look at you, so fucking pathetic. Your own mother calls you the son of the devil. Ain't you fucking pathetic? Don't you want to do something about it? To people who call you useless?"

I covered my ears in my hands and knelt down in tears. I was breaking apart, and HE knew it.

"Stop, please, stop." I was crying now. "Please don't hurt anyone."

HE laughed and grabbed my mother's hand that held the key. I looked up when my mother gasped at the invisible force that was grabbing onto her hand.

Slowly, he slitted my mother's throat using the edge of the key. My mother was screaming as I lunged forward and pushed her down towards the direction of HIM. The cut went deeper when I did that.

"Ma!" I cried out loud and grabbed her hand to stop her from continuing what she was doing.

It was too late. Mother stopped breathing when I finally pulled the hand down that fell freely by her side.

I fell back onto the floor and pushed myself away from my mother's corpse. "No...No!" I cried, pulling my hair as I screamed repeatedly. My face was smeared with my mother's blood.

HE stood infront of me now. For the first time, I saw how he looked like. He had dark brown hair that curled a little, and dark brown eyes that contained a little sadness. I shook my head as he bent forward and looked at me in the eyes. He was extremely pale and there was an evil grin when he did that.

"When I look at you, you reminded me of myself. Useless, and pathetic. I chose to die because I dare not kill. See now, I've killed those who criticises you. Now, nobody will speak ill of you. Don't you feel better now that these damn people are dead?"

"No! No! Why?! Why must you do this to me?" I cried and buried my face in my hands.

HE laughed and stood up straight. "Because you are living in my house. I do not allow coward people to live in my house. Others have been scared off, but you, I want to help you. Look what I've done! I've destroyed all the evil people around you. You are safe now! Shouldn't you even thank me?"

I kept quiet and continued sobbing for the longest time.

****************************************************

My father came back that day and found the house in a mess. He also found the two bodies, and me, crying with blood in my hands. I did not explain to him, or spoke to him when he demanded to know what happened. He called the police and I was arrested within six hours after their murder.

I told the police what I knew, but they said that there were only my fingerprints on them and also on the key that mother used to slit herself. They were convinced that I was the killer.

Readers, please believe me. I am not a murderer. That house, is now vacant. Do not live in there! Please do not live in that damn house! I am now in the Institute Of Mental Health. I have to be locked up forever all because of HIM.

I still see HIM once in awhile, and when I do, I simply look away because that is when I know that he is going to find his next victim.

Nobody knows the truth except Mother, Betty, and I.

The Letter

2008-07-05T00:36:00.006+08:00

The cool wind was brushing against June's delicate cheeks when she walked down the school's level corridor, holding onto a letter in a light pink envelope against her chest.

It was recess time and the students were scattered everywhere about the school's compound. Some students were playing cards in their classes and some of them were trying to flip the pages of their textbooks to prepare for their upcoming test after recess.

June pushed her spectacles against her nose nervously and stopped outside a classroom with some boys running about, and the girls sitting around, gossiping about who broke up with who, and who got together with who.

June shifted her feet close together and held onto her envelope tighter. A drop of perspiration dripped off a strand of hair at the side of her left ear. She was about to brace herself for the special moment when the level's reknown notorious girl tapped on her shoulder from behind.

"Oei, fatty. You stand here for what? Act Buddha is it?"

That girl's name is Shina Wong. She was a rather petite girl, with a very pretty face. That made her the belle of that level for that particular year. She might be notorious, but Shina always made sure she did well in her studies. Therefore, there were more reasons to befriend her, than to hate her. Shina had many devoted followers, some as young as the Secondary One students.
That year, she had her hair permed like her favourite Taiwanese idol, Jolin Tsai, and within days, you could spot some similar heads around at school.

That was how influential Shina was.

As usual, she had two other girls standing behind her, acting like bodyguards.

June bowed her head timidly and wiped off the sweat glistening on her forehead.

"Oei, ask you question you don't know how to reply is it? What you doing here infront of my classroom? This is MY class. Isn't your class downstairs?" Shina asked impatiently, tapping her foot against the ground.

June cleared her throat and glanced up at Shina slowly. "I..."

One of Shina's follower, Tingting, interrupted with a mock. "I think she's here to give love letter. You see what she's holding."

Shina's attention immediately went over the the pink envelope June was clutching onto tightly. It no longer looked as neat as before, June had almost crushed the entire envelope.

Quickly, June hid the envelope behind her back.

"No. I'm here to find..." She quickly thought of who she knew in this class. "Find... Huiting! Ya! She promised to go for recess with me, but I couldn't find her." June replied.

Shina raised a brow suspiciously. "I just came back from the canteen and she was just there, eating with Raine and girls. Did you try the canteen?"

June let out a nervous laughter. "Oh yes. Canteen! Why didn't I think of that? Okay. I'll go down and look for her. Thanks Shina!" As quickly as she could, June did her best to walk as fast as she her legs could carry her away from that level.

Shina stood behind her and watched June's overweight body disappear down the stairs.

***********************************************

June ran into the toilet and hid herself in a cubicle. Panting and gasping for breath, she was convinced that Shina did not tail her. Sitting on the toilet seat, she patted her chest and took deep breaths. She knew that being overweight was not healthy, but she knew she could never live without food.

She realised that she was still clutching onto the pink envelope, now crumbled and wet with her persperation. June released her grip and smoothened out the envelope against her lap.

"I'm so useless! I can't even bring myself to give this letter to him! I'm so stupid!" She mumbled to herself as tears welled her eyes. She pressed against the letter on her lap and rubbed it angrily.

Fed up with this outcome and her cowardice, June crushed the envelope again and threw it into a wastepaper basket beside the toilet seat.

She wiped the tears off her eyes and went out of the toilet, determined not to look back at what happened that morning.

What she did not know was, Shina was right beside her cubicle all the while.

After June left, Shina went into the cubicle June was in a moment ago, and picked up the letter from the wastepaper basket. Quietly, she slipped the envelope into her pocket and left the toilet, convinced that June had most likely returned back to class.

********************************************

"Stop it lah! You nothing better to do is it?!" Chung Kai shouted irritatedly as his classmate, John, hit him on his head from behind.

John laughed and slumped himself in the seat infront of Chung Kai. "Seriously, you need to take a chill pill. You take things so damn seriously."

Chung Kai leaned back comfortably as the classroom filled itself with chatters. "I take everything seriously, except girls. You can never believe what they say. Like that Shina, remember? She told me that she would be my girlfriend after mid-year exams, then uptil now, you see, got difference or not? All lies lah! Girls love to pretend only."

As if speaking of the devil, Shina slapped Chung Kai from the back. "Speaking ill of me? I really don't like that. Especially it's behind my back. Just for your information, being with you is a choice, not an obligation. So stop pretending that it's something that I must fulfil." She settled down at her seat beside his and arranged her uniform.

Chung Kai rolled his eyes at John who was laughing his head off.

"I think I found a love letter for you. You may want to read it." Shina started, taking out a crushed, pink envelope out of her pocket.

Chung Kai looked at the envelope in awe. How could this be a love letter? It looked so dirty and slightly wet. He was reluctant to open up the envelope.

"You're kidding me right? Make me happy, then some stupid shit happens. It's always your game, Shina." Chung Kai spoke with irk and pushed the letter back at Shina's desk.

The girl with a ponytail looked at him with surprise. "Don't you want to open it up? I went through alot to get this back for you. It was from a trash. In the toilet, okay?"

Chung Kai stood up. "All the more, I wouldn't touch it. Giving me trash. Thanks, Shina." With that, he walked to the front of the classroom and started talking to another classmate.

*************************************************

Chung Kai was walking home from school that day in his sluggish look, his hair in a mess, and his shirt tucked out. His bag was slung over his shoulder loosely as he made his way towards the bus stop opposite his school.

Chung Kai is relatively good looking, with big eyes and a sporty look. He was as tall as 180cm, with girls from other class gushing over his presence. He knew who June was, in fact, he was guilty for calling her "FAT ASS JUNE" behind her back. She was always eating, as far as he could remember.

He was in love with Shina. In fact, he had a crush on her since Secondary Two when the both of them were seated together. However, he never made that known because Shina was always popular amongst all the other guys in the level, and some seniors. He was happy just being her "partner."

Chung Kai stood under the bus stop shelter with some other students from the same school. Cars were whizzing past him as he waited patiently for his bus. He had a long day at school. Suddenly, he recalled the envelope Shina attempted to give him this morning.

What was Shina trying to show? What was in the envelope? What love letter was that? The thought of someone actually tried to write him a love letter made Chung Kai blush a little. He was aware that some girls took slightly more notice of him here and there, but to write a love letter and make some feelings known, this was the first time. For a short while, he kind of regretted rejecting the letter.

Soon, his bus arrived with students packed like sardines in it. Chung Kai moaned inwardly as he boarded the bus. As he made his way up the first step, he was suddenly pushed by a large force from behind, he nearly fell flat on the ground.

"Oei!" He shouted irritatedly as he spun around and spotted June attempting to squeeze herself up the bus with the doors closing right behind her hair.

The bus jerked and moved out of the curb. June heaved a sigh of relief as she looked up from where she stood and was shocked for words when she saw Chung Kai right infront of her. His face was filled with disgust, refusing to throw her a second glance. She realised that the person she pushed earlier on was him and looked down.

For awhile, she hated herself. She hated herself for sweating like a pig when everyone else still smelt good after a long day at school. She hated herself for rushing for the bus from a distance. She hated to be up on this bus where she had to squeeze her fat self in. Most of all, she hated herself for pushing Chung Kai. The boy she loved dearly for four years.

The bus stopped at the next stop and the door creaked open awkwardly as June's body hindered the doors from opening widely. She shifted her body and took a step up as the crowd started to move in when a few students alighted at this particular stop. She stood beside Chung Kai and felt her heart beating quickly. She took several side glances at him and smiled to herself secretly, happy to be standing so near him. It did not matter, on the spot, that he did not speak to her. She was happy the way they were. Strangers, yet schoolmates, and standing side by side, not speaking a word.

As June indulged herself in this short moment of happiness, the bus braked suddenly and she fell freely on Chung Kai who was supporting himself while holding onto a passenger seat. As June's heavy body landed on his, his grip came loose and the both of them fell in an awkward position where June lay on top of Chung Kai.

Everyone in the bus was staring at the both of them. Some people muttered amongst themselves, and some were laughing softly at this hilarious sight.

June realised that her skirt was all the way up at the back, exposing a large portion of her fat thighs. Trying her very best, she attempted to stand up.

Chung Kai was on his elbows as he tried to push June out of the way. He was embarrassed through and through. He wanted to scream at her. He wanted to push her away. He wanted to get off the bus and forget about this whole incident.

"I... I'm sorry." June muttered as she made her way up on her two feet finally when the bus stopped at a traffic. She pulled the skirt down at the back.

Chung Kai stood up and threw her the pair of spectacles that fell on him earlier on. When the bus stopped at the next bus stop, he alighted immediately, wishing he never seen her.

Meanwhile, June continued her journey in the bus. She found a seat and sat down. In her mind, were a thousand thoughts. She knew that Chung Kai hated her, and now, even more.

She felt like crying. She buried her face in her hands and allowed the tears to come freely.

*************************************

Chung Kai reached home half an hour later than usual. He threw his bag on the bed and threw himself on it. With his hands behind his back, the incident that happened on the bus came back to him. Blinking quickly, he tried to push away the images that came flashing into his mind.

"Oh, that fat ass." He muttered under his breath and sat up. He opened up his schoolbag and saw a pink envelope sticking out of one of his textbooks.

Sitting up straight, he took out the envelope and looked at the front.

FOR : WEE CHUNG KAI

Curious, he opened up the envelope and took out a pink, slightly crushed, perfumed paper and unfolded it.

Dearest Kai,

You'll probably be very shocked to receive this letter from me. Please believe that it took me alot of courage to write this to you, and even more courage to personally hand this over to you. We're graduating this year and after this year, I know that we might not meet again.

My parents have arranged for me to pursue my college education in the United States after the O levels results are out, but I told them that I needed time to think about it, because there is someone here that I cannot put down, and that someone is you.

I liked you since we were in Secondary Two. Remember the time when I fell at the school canteen and you offered your hand to help me up? I saw the most angelic pair of eyes. I couldn't help but fall for you then. But you took me by surprise when you released my hand almost immediately after I got up and walked off without even turning back. Only then did I realise that the reason you let go of me was because your group of friends were looking over at you, and you would be laughed at for helping me.

I understood all that. I really did. You didn't know how much you meant to me back then. Just when I thought everyone else was making fun of me, there you were, lending me a helping hand. Do you know what that really meant to me? Then I saw you around in school, with Shina. I somehow know that you're in love with her. Who wouldn't? She's pretty and influential. Any boy would die to be with her. But, I didn't mind watching you from far. In fact, with you around, everything seemed perfectly fine.

You might not have noticed me before, because I am just a very ordinary figure in school.

I know that I should not ask for too much, but if you are willing to try to accept me, I promise you I will be beautiful, just for you. Please let me know before we graduate from this school.

I will be happy to know what you think, even if it's negative. Whatever you do, just don't ignore me.

Thank you.

Yours, June Tan

Chung Kai crushed the paper angrily and threw it into a wastepaper basket accurately from a distance. He lay back in bed and tossed and turned. How could have attracted such a girl? He regretted helping her up back then. He should have minded his own business.

***************************************

Years flew by. Chung Kai was taking up business studies in a local university when fate came knocking at his door again.

He was exceling in his modules and he loved what he did. He was active in sports and school's activities, it never occurred to him that being single was a bad thing after all. He loved his freedom and decided to keep all the good ladies around him as friends.

Shina was in the same school as him, but she was already in her last year. Chung Kai had to serve his national service, so, Shina pursued her education earlier. The both of them dated for awhile in Junior College, but broke up when Chung Kai entered national service. They realised that, they were not suitable for each other after two years of compromising and quarrels. Hence, they decided to remain as friends.

It was the school holidays. Chung Kai decided to take up a temporary job as a photography assistant for a modeling agency. He loved photography, but his parents objected violently when he requested to pursue his education in photography. Therefore, he decided to totally make use of all his vacations to do what he likes to do.

He was attached to a very famous photographer, Jim Loh. Chung Kai found himself lucky to work with such a talent. He took photos of many celebrities during functions and award shows, and even made it to one of the top photographers in Hollywood, America.

However, working with Jim was not easy. Jim was a perfectionist. Every lighting and angle had to be precise and Chung Kai often got scolded for not being "serious" in the job.

That day, Chung Kai was busy getting the area ready for a photoshoot for Fann Wong when someone tapped him on his shoulder.

He turned around from the backdrop and saw a girl about his age, in a white cap, looking at him in big round eyes. She was wearing a pair of black rectangular shaped spectacles and her skin was fair and almost translucent. Her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail and placed through the small opening at the back of her cap.

"Excuse me, I'm so sorry. But can you tell me where Jim is?" She asked, her face blushing under the hot sun. She must have ran because the brim of her T-shirt was damp with her own persperation.

Chung Kai took a second to stop himself from looking at her and pointed behind her shoulder. "Right behind the wooden door."

The girl smiled and Chung Kai almost melted at the sight of her sweet smile and straight white teeth. She hugged her books and adjusted her spectacles. "Thank you."

With that, she turned her back towards him and walked towards Jim's direction. Chung Kai stood there for a good three minute looking at her backview. She was slim and dressed in a black "ROCK N ROLL" T-shirt and a pair of white mini pants. Her legs were long and lengthy. His gaze ended at her pair of worn out white sneakers. For awhile, he thought he might just have a crush on her.

"Pretty hor!" A voice woke him up from his daze.

It was Shina. She was standing beside him, tip toeing to shout into his ear. Chung Kai is almost a head taller than she is.

"What are you talking about? Must you shout?" Chung Kai asked as he returned to his backdrop decoration, ignoring Shina's presence.

Shina giggled. "I know what you're thinking. She's not bad lah. Look abit like those Japanese actresses. You haven't been dating for 3 years, I think you should try this one." She suggested, helping Chung Kai to glue up the corner of the backdrop.

Chung Kai kept quiet as he continued to apply glue to the other side of the board.

"Besides, it's time for you to want to settle down. Your mom has been calling me recently and asking me if you're seeing anyone. Feels like I'm some matchmaker or something. So save me all these trouble and find yourself a girlfriend for fuck sake." Shina went on, tapping on the sides lightly to ensure that the poster stayed.

Chung Kai looked at Shina. "What are you doing here today?"

Shina returned the look with a grin. "I've came to pass you the news that there's this Secondary school gathering next week. You're invited."

"Can't you just call me?" He replied, putting the glue brush back into the tin of glue.

Shina giggled again. "I missed you what! Okay lah! You want to go grab some dinner? I'm hungry you know."

Chung Kai shook his head and removed his glove. "No. I'm having it here. Jim bought packet rice for everyone."

Shina raised an eyebrow and went close to Chung Kai. "Hopefully, that girl stays for dinner too huh!" She teased and walked off before he could say anything. "Bye! I'll tell you where the gathering will be held."

Chung Kai looked forward at the direction where that girl was. She was talking to Jim enthusiastically with her hand gestures and several wide smiles.

Strangely, during that moment, he wanted to know what they were talking about.

Most importantly, he was surprised at his own overwhelming interest in this lady.

*************************************

The day to the gathering arrived faster than expected for Chung Kai who had been extremely busy for the past week. Jim was flying off to Japan soon and he had to hurry with some unfinished photoshoots in Singapore. Chung Kai had been working overtime for the past few days he barely had enough sleep. It was fine for the young lad though, considering the fact that he earned himself more during the overtime tasks.

Everyone was to gather at Harbour Front MRT Station before heading off together to the restaurant for a good buffet dinner. Chung Kai arrived slightly later than the appointed time because he overslept. His ex schoolmates were voicing out their displeasure at his lack of punctuality jokingly.

"Okay lah. Here I am right? Can we go?" Chung Kai asked, tucking his hands into his bermuda's side pockets.

One of the gossip girls that was known back in school, Jamie, shook her head as she scrolled down the list of guests using her index finger against the attendance sheet. "Wait. June. June Tan is coming."

Everyone started to murmur to each other. Nobody could forget that fat, nerdy girl who got made fun of every single day at school. It was rumoured that she had gone to the United States to pursue her college. Everyone felt slightly bad at the thought of the obese girl who did nothing to hurt them.

"She's back? I thought she's in the States?" Chung Kai asked, remembering the letter that June wrote to him almost six years back. He shifted his position uncomfortably as he remembered how sad June was when he returned to school the next day, and shouted at her for being stupid and clumsy. June ran off into the ladies for a long time before she came out and have avoided Chung Kai since then.

Ming Kok, one of Chung Kai's buddy rested an arm across Chung Kai's broad shoulders and smirked. "She's back, baby! She's back! What if she's bigger than before?"

Shina nudged Ming Kok playfully. "That's so bad lah!"

Ming Kok looked at Shina with puppy eyes. "Oh! Is that Shina the Meanie telling me that I'm very bad?"

Shina giggled. "Please lah. That was so long ago. I stopped being a bitch since JC days okay."

That was true. Shina toned down quite abit after she attended Junior College. That was when Chung Kai found the confidence to speak to her, and ask for dates.

"Well, that's good to hear, Shina." A female's voice replied to that comment Shina made from behind.

Shina spun around and everyone's gaze fell on a beautiful girl with fair skin. Her hair was falling loosely down her shoulders and she was dressed in a white baby doll dress and a pair of ballet flats. She had a little make up on and her eyes were sparkling with a little tinge of brown.

Everyone was quiet for a moment, absorbing the sight of this beautiful girl. Nobody remembered exactly if their school had such a pretty girl. The guys were mentally flipping through all the pretty girls they saw at school six years ago, trying to find a name to fit into this face.

However, Chung Kai remembered. She was the exact same girl who came to the photoshooting set the other day. His heart leapt a beat.

"You!" He exclaimed, breaking the silence. "Photoshoot, Jim.."

The girl placed a hand over her mouth and smiled. "Oh! Yes! You!" She laughed. "Small world. You were from Christmount too!"

Chung Kai returned the smile. "Yes. What about you? I don't remember a girl like you at school."

Everyone was looking at the both of them now. They were puzzled at their conversation. How did Chung Kai get to know such a pretty girl?

The girl rolled her eyes and smiled widely. "It's me! June! June Tan!"

Everyone almost fell back. June?! June Tan?! The fat, nerdy, bespected girl with a huge school bag?! June?!

"June?" Ming Kok croaked, trying to understand the whole situation. It had to be a joke. It had to be.

The girl giggled. "Yes. It's me. Can't you guys recognise me?"

Shina's mouth was wide open. "You.. You're fat June?"

June nodded grabbing onto Shina's shoulder. "Yes! You big bully! I can never forget what you did to me!" She chuckled and gave her a bear hug. "But it's really nice to see you again."

Shina was limp against the hug.

All the while, Chung Kai was glued to the floor. He could not speak, neither could he say anything.

All he could remember was the scene where she fell on top of him years back. Who could have thought that June would be so beautiful?

**************************************************

The dinner was mostly on June. They had not been catching up for years and everyone was curious at the 180 degrees change in the girl. The questions were bombarding her like no tomorrow.

"What did you do when you go back?"

"How did you become so pretty?"

"How is college there?"

"Why are you back?'

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

The last question somehow caught Chung Kai's attention as he looked up for the first time from his plate of food. He realised that he was not the only one who did that. The other guys around the table did the same. There was a short, awkward pause amongst them. The girl who popped the question, Raine, was looking at June with large, expectant eyes.

June shifted uncomfortably in her seat and forced an awkward smile. "No."

The girls chorused, "no?!"

The boys were muttering their "thank god" under their breaths and went back to their food.

Chung Kai heaved a sigh of relief and went back to his fried rice.

"But why? You're so pretty!" Raine asked in a cute voice, shaking June's arm lightly. June will never forget how cute Raine was even back in Secondary school days.

June blushed under the dim lightings and poked her food around with her fork. She took a quick glance at Chung Kai who was sitting opposite her and looked away shyly when he returned the gaze.

She remembered how shocked she felt when she was introduced to this particular guy by her friends as Chung Kai. She was even more surprised that they met earlier on, and had actually spoken to each other without even knowing that they actually DID know each other.

What a small world indeed.

"Oh! Chung Kai is it? You still waiting for him?" Shina teased, noticing the shy exchange of glances.

June kept quiet, and Chung Kai did the same too.

The other friends around the table were now teasing them mercilessly. The both of them looked down shyly, and did not speak to each other the entire night.

*********************************

"Send her home!" Shina insisted, pushing June to Chung Kai who held out a hand to prevent June from falling.

"It's okay! I can go home on my own." June replied shyly, pushing her hair behind her left ear and stood a step away from Chung Kai.

John looked at Chung Kai. "We boys are giving you a chance to send June home leh! Can you please be more gentlman or not?"

Other guys were supporting John's statement by cheering Chung Kai on.

"Let's go. We'll leave these two here to settle their way home." Shina suggested, grabbing Raine's arm.

Very soon, the group dispersed and left the two of them standing side by side, awkward with the situation.

June coughed lightly and broke the silence. "Erm. I can go home on my own." She spoke with a smile.

Chung Kai shook his head. "No. I'll send you back. No worries. Let's go." He replied and walked towards the staircase to the taxi stand. June followed behind.

When they were walking side by side down the stairs, Chung Kai spoke. "So, I never really had a chance to ask. Why did you look for Jim the other day?"

"Oh. Jim. Right. I was his model back in the U.S. I came back the other day and went immediately to find him regarding my pay cheque. He delayed his payment, you see." June replied.

Chung Kai raised an eyebrow. "Oh, did he pay you yet?"

June smiled as a cool breeze blew at her soft cheeks. "Yes. He told me he had some cash flow problem some time back. He apologised and everything is well." She replied and looked at Chung Kai. "What about you? Why were you there?"

The both of them were strolling down the pathway towards the taxi stand.

"Oh. I was working temporarily for Jim. Earn some extra cash, you know. And besides, I love photography." He replied, tucking his hands into his pockets.

June whispered. "Oh."

The two of them remained quiet till they boarded a cab.

"Uncle, Bukit Timah, Hillview Heights." June told the uncle and the taxi moved out of the curb.

Chung Kai looked at June. "Oh. You living with your family?"

June shook her head. "My parents are in America. This apartment is rent to me for a month."

Chung Kai nodded. "Oh."

June looked out of the window and watched Singapore past her by. Things have changed since the last time she stayed here.

As if reading her thoughts, Chung Kai said, "Singapore have changed alot, right?"

June nodded and smiled. "Yes. Quite abit. Especially this place that used to be World Trade Centre. Now it even has a big shopping mall. It's amazing."

Chung Kai laughed. "It's been THAT many years huh? You've changed quite abit. No longer the same old fat June that fell on me in Secondary school."

June recalled the incident vividly. It felt as though it happened yesterday.

"I ... I am sorry for that incident. It must have terribly embarrassing." She apologised.

Chung Kai laughed again. "No problem, silly. Not a problem."

For the rest of the journey, the both of them remained quiet. No one mentioned the letter until they arrived at June's place. They got off the taxi and that was when Chung Kai brought up the subject.

"Erm, June." He started.

June stopped at her pace and looked at the tall, handsome guy standing right next to her.

"There's always been something I wish to say to you, but I never had the guts to." He went on, walking towards a bench under her apartment and sat on it. June followed and sat beside him.

"I am very sorry about the letter incident. I was immature and stupid-"

"It's fine. It's alright. You should have reacted that way at that time. I was not that sort a boy would date. So I totally understand." June interrupted, fiddling with the strap of her white bag. "It's been so long, it no longer hurts."

For awhile, Chung Kai felt extremely sorry. It felt so bad he felt like crying, just letting it out like a baby, but he knew that he had to hold it in, because the simple fact that he is a man, he must not let it out.

"Hey! Don't be so sad. I am fine." June spoke cheerily, patting Chung Kai's shoulder.

Chung Kai looked at June, "don't you hate me at all? I was really mean to you."

June looked away, her smile still transfixed on her face, but there was a slight tint of sadness in her eyes. "I did. After all, you were my first crush. I hated you only when you shouted at me at school. It was humiliating and I felt like I totally regretted writing a letter to you. If you hadn't known, probably, I wouldn't be laughed at during the remaining days at school."

Chung Kai covered his face in his hands. "I- I'm so sorry."

June giggled and face him again. "Hey. I told you, it's totally fine. We're all grown ups now. Right?"

Chung Kai looked up from his hands and held onto June's hand that was resting on his lap. "If, there's a chance for us to get together, will you come back to me?"

June withdrew her hand and looked away. "I don't think now it's right time to talk about this."

She stood up and with her back facing Chung Kai, she continued. "I wouldn't like a guy, who loves me only for what I am. I may look like this now, but inside me, it's still the old fat June. Always."

She turned around and smiled. "How I wish you told me all that when we were in Secondary school. Everything is not possible now. Good night Chung Kai. It was really nice to see you again."

She bent over and gave him a hug. "You still look so good." She spoke as she released the hug. "Exactly the same Chung Kai I used to know back then."

*****************************************

A week past and Chung Kai was still thinking of June. He was lying in bed on a weekday morning, looking at June's number on his handphone and navigated away the umpteenth time.

He rolled in bed several times and lay on his chest. He looked at the number again and finally mustered enough courage to give her a call.

It rang for a long time. Chung Kai was about to hang up when the call got through.

"Hello?" A sleepy voice spoke.

Chung Kai held his breath.

"Hello?" The voice repeated.

"Oh.Hi." Chung Kai replied quickly. "It's me, Chung Kai."

There was a pregnant pause. Chung Kai could hear some ruffling sound coming from the other end, as if June was attempting to get up from her bed.

"Oh." Her voice croaked. "Hey."

"Erm. Hi. How have you been this whole week?" Chung Kai asked, sitting up on the bed.

June seemed to have stifled a yawn. "Fine. I am still sleeping now actually. Shina and the girls clubbed with me last night at Butterfactory. I am so wasted."

Chung Kai was a little shocked at Shina's warm hospitality.

"Oh. I was thinking, do you want to go out?" Chung Kai finally popped the question.

He gripped onto his phone and closed his eyes, wishing for a positive answer.

"Yes. We'll make it today. I will be up by twelve. Is that okay?" June replied.

Chung Kai could imagine June getting out of bed.

He hung up the phone after agreeing with the timing and literally jumped for joy.

************************************

At eleven forty five, Chung Kai was standing outside City Hall control station nervously, arranging his collar for the fifth time during his ten minutes wait. He looked at his watch and looked out for June's face when crowds after crowds exited from the ticketing entrances.

"Chung Kai." A small voice called from behind him.

He turned around and saw June in an orange sun dress, smiling at him.

"I came from the other way." She said, pointing to the other row of exits on the other side of the station.

"Oh." Chung Kai laughed. "I thought you might come out from here."

June giggled. "Shall we have lunch? I am starving."

*****************************************

"I'll have the soup of the day to begin with, and..." June ordered and paused as she surveyed the main dishes introduced on the menu with her index finger. "A fish and chips. Kindly send bring my coffee at the end of the meal." She ended her order and closed the menu.

The waiter was scribbling busily on his notepad when Chung Kai made his order. He decided to settle for some steak and some iced tea.

The waiter took the two menus away and walked off.

June smiled, spreading the white table napkin across her thighs. "It's nice to dine here. I never knew this place is beautiful. It must be expensive."

Chung Kai smiled. He was ready to splurge that day. He decided to make this lunch a very memorable one for her. In a way, maybe, he could make up for the hurt he put her through years ago.

Their food arrived and they ate silently, as if two strangers were seated together for the sake of having lunch. It was after their main courses, did they start a conversation over coffee.

"So... You're going back next week?" Chung Kai asked, stirring his iced tea with his straw.

June nodded. "Yeah. Next week. School's starting soon over there. I need to get back for orientation."

Chung Kai leaned back and played with the water droplets condensing outside his glass of iced tea. "Will you ever be back?" He asked, almost in a whisper.

June breathed in sharply and winced at the cold air that pierced her lungs.

Chung Kai realised that and sat up. "Are you alright?" He asked, his eyes tingled with a sense of concern and care.

June forced a smile and hit her chest lightly. She coughed lightly and fumbled for her bag. She took out a bottle of pills and popped one in. She took a quick sip of her water and closed her eyes, her hand still on her chest.

"I think-" Chung Kai started, ready to ask for the bill when June stopped him.

"No. I.. I am fine. I had a bad cough. That's all. I forgot my medicine." She told him as colour started to return to her face. She coughed a little more and took another sip of water. She seemed to have felt better.

Chung Kai looked at June.

"Are you okay?" He asked.

June smiled. She seemed to look better now. "Yes. I am fine. Don't worry."

Chung Kai, in his black T-shirt, smiled, relieved that June was fine. He could not help but realise how fair she was. Her skin was almost translucent. He could see faint lines of her veins and her eyes were sparkling.

"Look June, all these years, I've never forgotten you. I felt very bad towards you the past years. I know I shouldn't do all that to you." Chung Kai started, glad that he finally got to touch the subject that was playing with his emotions for the past one week.

June kept quiet and took a sip of her coffee.

Taking it as a hint to continue, Chung Kai went on, now sitting up. "Now that you are back, I really hope that I can get a chance to date you."

June looked down. "I'm going back next week."

"I know. I will wait for you to come back. As long as you give me an answer, I will wait for you." Chung Kai replied enthusiastically, knowing at once that he will not regret this reply.

June looked up finally, and Chung Kai understood why she looked down. Tears were welling up in her eyes. She looked away quickly and placed the napkin on the table. "I'm sorry." She replied abruptly and walked off, leaving Chung Kai sitting in his chair, totally dazed and clueless at what June meant.

He watched June's body fade away as she ran out of the restaurant.

Chung Kai looked away and tried to hold back his tears.

Days later, news got to him that June had already gone back to America.

**************************************

Time passed and it was a year since June got back to America. Chung Kai was determined to wait for her to come back after her education. He was convinced that, from the pair of eyes he saw during lunch that day, was a sign to show that she still loved him.

"Kai, you have a letter." His mother opened his room door one afternoon and passed a pink envelope to her son.

Chung Kai was sitting by his computer desk. He took the letter and flipped it around. It was from California, America.

June.

He unsealed the envelope with unsteady hands and took out a pink perfumed letter. It was folded exactly the way it was years ago.

Bracing himself, he opened up the letter.

Dear Chung Kai,

Time flies and somehow, the feeling have changed as I wrote this letter. The previous letter was filled with excitement and anxiousness, whereas for this letter, it was filled with lots of sadness and helplessness.

Kai, by the time you read this letter, I might have gone to somewhere more peaceful, with no pain and suffering. I was happy to be back in Singapore to see all of you. It meant more than anything to me. It felt as though I had completed what I had to do on earth. There was no regrets.

I am writing now, sitting up with tubes stuck up my nose, on the hospital bed. Doctor told me that my days were numbered two years back. I had lung cancer, you see. I did not go for chemotherapy because the doctor said it would only extend my life, not save my life. Every chemotherapy would be fruitless.

So, I braved through my days. I have told my mother about sending this letter to you after my crematorial ceremony.

When I saw you last year, I felt sad. I wanted so much to go back to you. I've never stopped loving you, you know. That day, when you screamed at me, I avoided you because it hurt so bad just looking at you. Wanting someone so bad, and yet, you get nothing out of it, the feeling was unbearable.

I am very happy that you acknowledged my love, but the reason for my extreme loss of weight was because of my sickness. I could barely eat and that day, surprisingly, I had an extremely good appetite. Perhaps it was because of you. I felt so much stronger.

I came back to America, feeling complete and also, sorry to you. I wanted to break the news to you that day, but couldn't bring myself to. Sorry I ran off. I just couldn't look at you.

My love for you never faded. Not now, not ever.

Please be strong and stay happy. I wish you happiness.

Thank you for loving me. You made my last days very happy.

I will always be your guardian angel, watching over you.

I love you, Chung Kai.

Yours,
JUNE TAN

Chung Kai crushed the paper and took out a photograph enclosed with the letter.

He held the photograph and bent his head down. He cried.

He never cried harder than this in his life.

The photograph was a picture of fat June in Secondary school, with Chung Kai sitting behind her in the canteen.

Chung Kai was looking at Shina, and June was smiling in the photo.

Reflection

2008-06-27T21:20:00.003+08:00

"Do you think my nose is too flat?" Cathy asked, shifting her face left and right to find the right angle for a full view of her nose bridge.

Joanne, her best friend in her polytechnic, washed her hands at the basin and looked up at her friend's reflection.

"Please! If that's flat, mine is what?" She asked, pushing her nose down. "My nose will be like a pig's nose already."

Cathy sighed. "I feel so imperfect. My eyes! Look at them!" She cried and pushed the side of her eyes upwards. "I wish I have double eye lids and slits at the sides. That will make me look so damn sexy."

Joanne laughed and joked, "aiya, if you want it to be like that, you might as well go and do plastic surgery."

Cathy looked at her friend and grabbed her hands. "Yes! Maybe that's what I should do. I've been contemplating for like three years-"

"Stop! Please tell me you're not serious!" Joanne asked in shock, her eyes opening wide.

"I can't be more serious." Cathy replied and nudged her friend towards the exit of the ladies as some girls moved towards the basin area.

Once they were out, Cathy went on. "I've been thinking for the past three years." They started walking towards their next lecture hall. "I'm so damn tired of how I look. My eyes, my nose, my lips, my teeth... practically EVERYTHING. I'm so fucking flat chested too." She stopped her pace and looked down at her AA cup breasts she tried very hard to conceal by wearing A cup brassieres.

Joanne raised a palm to chin level and spoke in a diva-like attitude. "Puh-lease. You're perfectly fine! With your built, if you have a fucking D cup breasts, I will get freaked out okay? I mean, SERIOUSLY freaked out."

They arrived at the staircase leading to the lecture hall and Cathy sighed, hugging her file. "I don't know, Jo. My mind is in a mess. Ever since Matt dumped me I -"

"Don't mention that jerk. He is not even worth mentioning, okay? ANY guy who judges a girlfriend by her looks, are simply not worth your time and effort okay? If Matt wanted a sex bomb for a girlfriend, he shouldn't have chosen you right from the start. He was with you just because you're rich. You should have known that." Joanne interrupted, shaking her head.

Cathy was getting irritated. "Stop speaking of Matt like that. I know why you don't want me to do surgery. You're afraid I'll look better than you." She blurted and knew at that instance, she made a terrible, terrible mistake.

Joanne stopped at her pace abruptly and looked at her friend in shock, her eyes tinted with anger and disappointment.

"Look, Cathy Sim, the truth was plain and simple. Matt wanted you back then because you're just fucking rich, okay?! I stayed by you because I was your best friend. I've never thought you were ugly, and is this how you speak of me?! Am I such a person in your eyes?! Do you know what risks there are when you go for cosmetic surgeries?! I was concerned and all you cared about was yourself and what YOU think!" She retorted and raised a hand to stop Cathy from speaking. "Do whatever you want. I really don't wish to speak to you anymore."

With that, she jogged up the stairs and proceeded to the lecture hall alone.

Cathy stood at the side of stairway in tears. She wiped the snort off her nose as she turned her back towards a group of students coming up the staircase.

**********************************************

For three days, the two girls did not speak to each other. Cathy had attempted to create conversations between the both of them, but Joanne was still angry and had refused to reply to any of Cathy's approaches.

On the fourth day, Cathy decided to make the decision alone. She stared into the mirror at home for an entire hour, figuring every single spot on her face that required correction. After analysing thoroughly, she briefly took down the features she wanted to correct in a notepad.

She braced herself for the second blow when she approached her mother for a second opinion. She was confident her mother would disagree flatly upon this absurd request. However, she decided to do whatever she had to do to make herself beautiful.

"Mom," Cathy started, standing at the entrance of her parents' bedroom.

Her mother was doing her pedicure with her manicure artist, Phyllis. It was an awkward time to approach Mrs Sim, but Cathy felt it was also the best time because her mother, herself, believed in retail and beauty therapy.

"Oh, Cathy! My precious daughter! Come in! Do you want your nails done?" Mrs Sim asked generously with a wide smile. She was wearing a loose white shirt and hot pink tights. Her hair was permed with perfection, not a single strand was out of the way. Her small framed body was leaning comfortably against a massage chair with Phyllis kneeling on the floor, polishing the toenails with a thin layer of transparent nail polish.

Cathy stepped in and went forward to her mother. Phyllis gave her a smile and Cathy returned it politely. She sat on the edge of the king sized bed and placed a hand on her mother's.

"Mom, I've something to talk to you about." She spoke, almost inaudibly.

Her mother was admiring her new fingernails when she stopped to look at her daughter with queer. "What? What did you say?"

Cathy inhaled deeply. "I have something to say." She repeated, this time louder.

Mrs Sim giggled. "Oh, I thought what. Speak."

Whenever her daughter spoke like that, Mrs Sim always knew it was a favour. Since she was in a good mood, chances of approving any request is high.

"I want to do plastic surgery."

Phyllis heard that and painted the outside of the last second toe with a jerk. She looked up apologetically and proceeded to take a cotton pad from her work-box. "I'm so sorry." She repeated over and over again as she clumsily poured a small amount of nail polish remover from a small bottle.

Mrs Sim was speechless during the entire time, and was even unaware of Phyllis's mistake. For awhile, she thought she heard wrongly.

"Phyllis, did... did my daughter just said she wants to do plastic surgery?" She asked in disbelief, looking at the poor lady who was trying her best to salvage the mistake she made earlier on.

Phyllis looked at the lady and kept quiet. She went back to wiping the excess nail polish off the side of the toe.

"Cathy! What are you thinking?" Mrs Sim asked, her voice loud and clear. "Do you know what you're talking about?!"

Cathy grabbed her mother's hand, her eyes in tears. "Mom! Please help me! I feel so... so ugly and hideous if I don't do something about myself!"

Mrs Sim shifted the other hand over her daughter's. "Girl ah! You look fine! What's wrong with you?"

"I'm NOT fine! Look mom! Look at my eyes! They're TINY. Look at my nose! I don't even THINK I have a nose. And my lips! They're so thin! I don't even see my lips! And my teeth! You look! They're so crooked and yellow! I can't stand it anymore! Even my breasts are so small!" Cathy railed, ignoring the presence of the manicure artist who was trying her best to do her job despite the shouting.

Mrs Sim sat up and inhaled deeply. She withdrew her legs gently and dismissed Phyllis for a break downstairs for some tea before continuing with the pedicure later on. The manicurist nodded quietly and went downstairs.

When the door closed, Mrs Sim shifted her seat and faced her daughter who was filled with desperation to look better.

"Girl ah. You look okay to me. Why you want to do such things? You got see that Michael Jackson? You want your nose to fall off like his someday is it?!" She asked worriedly, her brows frowning.

Cathy shook her head. "Mommy! Michael Jackson did it in what? 1980?! It's 2008 now! It's different! It's not so painful now too. I really want to do it! Please support me!"

Mrs Sim looked away in despair. She knew her daughter well. Once Cathy sets her mind into doing something, she does it all the way.

She knew that her daughter had been toying with this idea for years, but she never really brought it up because she was not confident. Now, Mrs Sim knew that her daughter meant business and she can only encourage her.

************************************

That night during dinner, Mrs Sim brought the subject up to her husband.

"You know, it's not possible. I will support anything she does, but not this. This is way too much." He reasoned, scooping some soy sauce chicken onto his plate of half eaten rice.

Mrs Sim scooped a few more pieces of chicken bits and place it on her husband's plate. "She is really serious about it now. You know your daughter, if she wants to do something, she MUST do it. I don't want her to end up doing something stupid for the surgeries. You don't want anybody who knows you to come up to you and tell you your daughter is working as something unglamorous outside right?"

Mr Sim was quiet now. He scooped a spoonful of rice and fed himself.

He was a big man, with a balding head and a gold tooth. He had delibrately gone and extract a tooth for that, because his mother believed that a swelling belly and a gold tooth represent prosperity.

Mrs Sim knew that she hit the spot. To her husband, nothing mattered more than his own reputation in the business.

"How much?" He finally asked, lifting his bowl towards his lips to take a sip of the double brew chicken soup.

Mrs Sim placed her silver spoon by her plate and fiddled with the tablecloth's edge. "Cathy wants to change quite a few things, so it will cost about thirty thousand to forty."

Her husband nearly choked at his soup. Mrs Sim had to pat his back repeatedly to soothe the coughings. As soon as he could finally breathe normally, she passed a glass of water to her husband which Mr Sim took gratefully with a shakey hand.

"You must be crazy. Do you know how much money that is?" He finally spoke, taking a sip of clear water.

Mrs Sim went back to her chair beside her husband's and nodded. "Yes. But I'm willing to forego my mahjong and manicure sessions for a year. Just let her go. She just wants to be beautiful. You don't want her to keep blaming us for giving her the ugly features right?"

Mr Sim was getting angry. He slammed the glass on the table and looked at his wife. "What?! Blame us for giving her a face like that?! Who does she think she is?! We give her everything. A car, a room, a laptop, a walk-in wardrobe, a very expensive bathroom... we GAVE her everything, Amelia! What else does she want? Now she has the damn guts to say we gave her the ugly features?! Is this the way a daughter should speak to her parents?!"

"But-"

"No buts!" He stood up and threw his napkin on the table angrily. "It's all your fault Amelia! You keep spoiling her! Again and again! Is this how you teach your daughter? To spend forty thousand at the age of eighteen?! This is insane! I left you at home to educate Cathy and look what you've done!"

He stormed off into the study room and slammed the door hard enough for Mrs Sim to tremble in tears.

*******************************

Cathy heard the argument her parents had and she felt sorry for implicating her mother who did all she could to help her. She lay chest down on her bed, her head buried in her folded arms, and cried.

******************************

It was a Saturday the next day. Mr Sim and Mrs Sim were sitting outside their porch with a pot of tea and some kuehs, enjoying the breeze. Mr Sim was flipping through the papers, reading to his wife some news that were important. Amelia loved to listen when her husband speak. He always had this airs about him which attracted her since she was a teenage girl.

When he finally closed the newspaper and remove his spectacles, she spoke softly. "I've calculated last night. I got about twenty thousand with me. Can you just pump in another ten for Cathy? I really want to see her happy. She did not even have dinner last night. I had Armin send up the food and when I went upstairs this morning, the food was left untouched. I think she was really upset."

Her husband dropped three cubes of sugar into his tea and stirred it quietly.

"How? Please, Roger. I want Cathy to be happy." Amelia pleaded.

"Okay. I'll just pump in another ten thousand or so. Since you want to spoil her, you spoil her yourself. I'll just give what I can give. You know nowadays my business is not too good." Mr Sim finally relented before taking a sip of his tea.

Mrs Sim's face lit up and gave her husband a quick hug. "Oh, I love you, Roger! You're the best!" She cried happily and planted a kiss on his bald head.

**************************************
Cathy received the good news as soon as her mother finished her tea. She was ecstatic. Her dream was finally coming true.

*************************************

During the school holidays, Cathy spent most of her two months vacation in the hospital, going through several surgeries. In just two months, she did her eyes, nose, botox and lip fillers. By the time school re-opened, she looked totally different. In fact, even her ex best friend, Joanne, could barely recognise her.

*************************************
"Mom, a photographer from HER WORLD magazine wants me to model for a brand! He just called me!" Cathy gushed, running down the stairs into the living room. Her parents were eating grapes and watching the evening variety show.

Mrs Sim smiled. "Did you say yes?"

Cathy jumped in beside her mother and nodded. "Of course! Daddy, they know that I'm Roger Sim's daughter and would like to add a small interview as well. Isn't that marvellous? People will know about you and it'll help in your business alot."

Mr Sim laughed. "Then I have to thank you for being so nice."

Cathy felt happy. For once, she felt beautiful. She went back into her room and danced infront of the mirror. She looked closely and admired the flawless works of her surgeon. She pouted slightly and decided to get another dosage of lip filler tomorrow.

*******************************************

The day for the photoshoot arrived. Cathy went to the studio happily in a plain white tank top and jeans. The photographer welcomed her and shook her hand before asking her to proceed to the changing room.

She was guided to a small room with bright lights and racks of beautiful clothes. In there, she was greeted by several make up artists and some other models. She got dressed into a beautiful champagne evening gown and sat infront of the mirror. Her make up artist, Alicia, came up and started to work on her face.

"Oh, what pretty eyes you have! Not many Chinese have these eyes." Alicia gushed, spreading a thin layer of foundation over her face.

Cathy giggled.

"You look perfect, but if only you have bigger breasts. Look at this dress, it's hanging so loosely down your chest. I think Rim will have to photoshop that part." Alicia commented, applying loose powder over Cathy's cheeks.

Another model sitting beside her, Junni, smiled as her make up artist applied a light brown eyeshadow above her left eye.

"Being flat chested is very sad." She remarked.

Cathy looked at Junni using her side glance and spoke. "Most models are flat chested."

Junni stood up from her chair and laughed. "That was passe. Now, you've got to have the front and back to look sexy. It's how the market is nowadays. Wake up, baby."

With that, she sauntered out of the make up room.

Cathy gripped the arms of her chair and looked into the mirror as Alicia did her eyes quietly.

**********************************************

"Mom, I want to do my breasts." Cathy insisted, following her mother around the three storey bungalow. "I wanted to do it the last time but Doctor Rossi told me it will take more than two months to heal completely. So now, I want to do it."

Mrs Sim sat on a couch in the living room and Cathy follow suit, settling herself beside her mother.

"Girl ah. I gave you a pretty face. Now, you want pretty breasts too. What is wrong with you?" She asked, fanning herself with a magazine she was reading. "Armin! Turn on the aircon! So hot!" She shouted for her maid who came running out of the kitchen.

"Mom, please. Just one last surgery. I am like AA cup! I want at least a C cup. Please!" Cathy begged, almost on her knees.

Mrs Sim cooled down as the cool hair filled the room.

"Okay. Just one more. After that, stop bugging me to let you do this and that. Okay?"

*******************************************

Cathy went for her breasts surgery. Before the surgery, her doctor warned her of all the possible risks she might face and that the operation will be slightly more complicated than the eyes and nose.

After they reached a certain understanding, Cathy proceeded with the surgery.

******************************************

The surgery was a success. During the recovery stage, her breasts were starting to take form. They appeared firm and larger than usual. Cathy had requested for a generous C cup, but was rejected by her doctor because it would be dangerous to increase the size of the breasts drastically from cup AA to cup C. Hence, they settled for cup B which Cathy found no reason to complain about.

After the seventh week of the surgery, Cathy was starting to feel pain on her left nipple and sometimes, it would get unbearably painful at night when she slept sideway.

"Cathy, I think the tissue in your left breast is not accepting the sillicon very well. It's showing signs of rejection." Doctor Rossi explained after the test conclusions were out.

Cathy looked at her doctor worriedly. "But my right breast is fine!"

"Yes, yes," the doctor replied, playing with her pen. "But your left breast is not. So, we have to operate on your breasts again to take out the sillicon pads."

The young girl started crying. "What about my other breast?"

Doctor Rossi sighed. "I'm sorry to tell you these, but such rejection are relatively minimal. Guess you're unlucky. I've to take out both sillicons for you to look normal as a woman, then I will reconstruct your breasts to firm up the tissue and allow them to recover. We can't keep those sillicons inside, it might cost your life. We must do it soon."

Cathy covered her face in her hands and cried for a long time.

*********************************************

It has been six years since that surgery. Cathy regretted every moment of it, having to step in and out of the hospital to reconstruct her breasts once in awhile. Each time she looked in the mirror, she would cry at her sorry state. Her breasts were no longer small and beautiful. They are now saggy and deformed.

She met a lady at the hospital once, waiting to see the doctor to talk about breasts reconstruction and surgery.

Out of goodwill, she told the lady.

"Don't do it. You're beautiful the way you are. Don't be like me." With that, she pulled down her button blouse and revealed her deformed left breast to the shocked lady. "Six years, and I'm still paying for this price. Don't regret it."

The lady thanked Cathy and left the hospital shortly after canceling her appointment with her doctor.

BEST Friend, BAD Friend

2008-06-19T22:35:00.007+08:00

Min Joo's life was close to perfect. She had a happy family, a group of close knitted friends, excellent conduct in school, perfect results, and a very good buddy, Kelene.

Basically, she had everything a girl ever dreamt of having. Her parents are well off, giving her all the luxurious and material comforts most girls only hope for. The family lived around Siglap area and her father dabbles in the fastfood business.

At the age of twenty, she pursued medicine in one of the best local university in Singapore. She had everything, but little did she expect the person who might hurt her most, was around her all the time.

Nothing wakes a person up better than betrayal.

******************************

It all happened one year back, when Min Joo and Kelene decided to attend the same course after their A levels. Two girls met when they were Primary school and they absolutely loved each other. Even in Secondary school, when Min Joo was in the Special Stream and Kelene in Express, they still met everyday during recess and after school.

They were that close. People practically thought they were siblings. Min Joo, although wealthier than Kelene, never compared their differences. Min Joo gave her best friend everything she had. Hence, they always ended up with the shoes, clothes, bags and laptops. Min Joo always made sure she bought double of everything.

Kelene on the other hand, is the daughter of a Yong Tau Foo stall owner and his wife. They did quite well, though. Their little stall made more money than the other stores in the coffeeshop. Most of the ingredients were sold out before dinnertime. However, Kelene was never proud of her parents. That was why her parents hardly attended any of her schools' events.

On their first day of school, Min Joo was whizzing past the cars on the expressway in her BMW. She did her soft curls the day before and she loved them. She realised that her hairstylist, Kylie, knew exactly what she wanted. Kelene had done the same and they looked like two peas in a pod. Apart from their complexion and features differences, almost everything about them looked alike. Min Joo loved the similarity. It made her feel extremely close to her best friend.

Kelene was sitting beside her, touching up on her make up. She was extremely excited over the first day of school. After all these years of tedious schoolwork and ugly uniforms, she finally made it to the University.

"Do you think there'll be cute guys in our class?" Min Joo asked. She was glowing in the sunlight in her bright yellow 1970's strap dress.

Kelene giggled. "Well, I don't know, but the doctors I've met so far, are not bad looking."

Min Joo pulled the brake and looked through the rearview mirror with a grin. "I'm so excited. You know, it took me exactly three years to get over Russell. I'm now all ready to find a right guy and start all over again."

"I'm sure you will. After all, you're such..." Kelene smiled sweetly and dragged the last word with a bit of a cute tone in it. She stretched over and gave Min Joo a big hug before completing the sentence, "a good friend!"

Min Joo hugged Kelene back. She was blessed to have such a good girlfriend. She was determined to find Kelene a good boyfriend too, if she ever finds one.

*******************************

"I'm even amazed how you two look alike! You guys even have the same curls." Serene, a new classmate gushed when they were at lunch.

Min Joo gave a wide smile and picked up her fork. "We've been best friends since Primary school okay? She's like my other half."

"People sometimes think we're lesbians." Kelene added with a laugh.

Min Joo cut a small cube of her beef steak and fed it to Kelene. Kelene accepted it with grace and did the same to Min Joo.

"Oh my god. I am starting to think you guys are lesbians as well." Serene remarked with a slight shiver in her voice.

Min Joo laughed. "We understand."

**********************************

After school that day, when the girls were about to leave the school campus, they bumped into a senior whom they met during the orientation. Both girls thought he was cute.

"Oh hey." He said with a smile when he saw the two girls near the carpark.

"Hey." The both of them replied in unison, only to realise that both of them were blushing.

"I haven't got your names during the orientation. I'm Neth." He introduced himself and stretched out a hand.

"Min Joo."

"Kelene."

Two girls took turns to shake that large, firm hand. Both girls were almost breathless. Neth was not only blessed with good looks, he was also studying criminal law in school. This was his second year and he had been very popular amongst his peers for his friendly and kind nature.

Neth flashed them another charming smile, showing his perfect set of straight, white teeth. "Well, see you girls around. You guys going home?"

Min Joo nodded shyly. "Yup. Home."

"Well, alright then. I'll catch you some other day. Bye!" With that, Neth walked away towards the school's canteen.

Kelene placed her hand against her chest and looked at her best friend wide eyed. "Oh my god. I could hardly breathe."

Min Joo leaned against the pillar weakly and felt her face. "I feel damn feverish. I think I am fucking blushing."

Kelene giggled. "He's cute. Super cute. Let's go." She grabbed her friend's hand and led her to the car.

"Maybe, just maybe, he and I can work something out." Min Joo mumbled dreamily as she unlocked the car's door with a smile.

But she did not realise that, Kelene heard what she said.

*****************************************

The next few days in school were passed on quickly and it was finally Friday. The girls loved Fridays. It would mean a night of party, party and more party.

Kelene was at Min Joo's house that evening. They decided to settle for some "GOLD RUSH" look as Min Joo slipped into a Gucci mini dress studded with golden sequins.

"Do you want to borrow my gold top? It's definitely nicer than your Topshop gold dress. It makes you look like a carpet." Min Joo remarked, taking out a beautiful Guess gold top from her wardrobe.

Kelene, sitting by the dressing table, looked away from the mirror. She was applying mascara.
"Oh, that's very cute."

Min Joo smiled proudly and proceeded to remove the curlers from her hair. "Of course. It's mine. You should learn how to dress up sometimes, Kel. Stop shopping at Topshop, Mango... These shops are passe."

Kelene screwed the mascara bottle tight, turned, and face her flawless friend. "I can only afford such brands. I'm not you. I'm not Min Joo with a rich dad."

Min Joo stopped at the removal of her curlers and stared at her best friend. "What do you mean by that? I've given you whatever I have. How can you, of all people, say that I'm just "Min Joo with a rich dad"? That was totally, extremely, hurting." She went on to remove her curlers. "If you know what I mean, I've never despised you."

Kelene broke out a smile and hugged Min Joo. "Yes, I know! Don't get so uptight! It was just a comment. I know how much you love me."

Min Joo's anger seemed to have eased at the sound of that. She liked it when Kelene cared so much about her.

"Well, I guess I'm okay. Hurry and try that top. It'll look fabulous on you."

****************************

The night at Ministry Of Sound was a blast. Min Joo and Kelene went into the VIP room to search for Min Joo's friend, one of the rich businessman's son.

"Min Joo! Look who's here!" Jack welcomed with wide arms when the two girls were granted entry to the VIP room.

"Oh Jack!" Min Joo gushed and gave him a hug.

"Kelene!" Jack greeted the girl behind Min Joo and gave her a hug as well.

"Sit! Order whatever you want. It's on me." Jack offered generously, throwing his wallet on the table.

That was Jack. Always full of enthusiasm and money. He was highly sought after at his university although, to Min Joo, his look was slightly below average. However, he was great company and great fun.

"Hmm! How about a dozen shots of tequila?" Min Joo ordered.

A lady took the order and walked off towards the bar counter.

"How was school for the first week?" Jack asked, taking a generous gulp of his Chivas, a big cube of ice chinkling against the glass. He was leaning back against the comfortable sofa in his black button shirt and pants.

Min Joo placed her gold clutch beside her and straightened her dress. "Fine. Nothing specatacular like I thought."

"Yeah. Except that senior, Neth." Kelene added with a childish giggle.

Min Joo nudged her friend and looked at Jack with a grin. "He's very, very, cute. I think he may not be totally Chinese. He had these pair of deep, dark beautiful eyes. He resembles Utt."

Jack laughed. "So fast you all find new target already huh? Looks like I'll have no chance again." He added with a tinge of sadness in his voice.

Everyone knew that Jack had been into Min Joo for almost ten years now. Min Joo, however, never felt anything special for him.

"You can have Kelene!" Min Joo laughed and gently pushed Kelene to Jack.

A tray of a dozen shots of tequila came just in time. Kelene needed that. Sometimes, she simply could not stand Min Joo's childish attitude.

"Let's drink." Kelene changed the subject and picked up a shot glass. "Let's drink to our first week at school." She toasted to Min Joo and felt the gush of alcohol rushing down her throat. She quickly picked up a slice of lemon and placed it on the top part of her tongue.

*************************************

As the two girls were about to leave the club at four in the morning, they met someone they never thought they would meet at a place like that.

Neth.

"What are you doing here?" Kelene asked, slightly tipsy. She was lucky to have a good tolerance for alcohol.

They were at the entrance when they spotted Neth smoking outside. Min Joo was totally wasted. She was leaning against Kelene.

"Neth." Min Joo slurred, waving her clutch infront of the smoking guy. "Hello." She giggled.

"Hey. Yeah. You guys club often too?" He asked. Kelene could not help it but sink into those pair of dark brown eyes. He was not only tall, but fit. He looked extremely handsome this very night in a dark red button shirt tucked into a low waist straight cut Levi's jeans.

Min Joo stumbled forward a little and Kelene struggled to catch her. "Yeah. Apparently, Min Joo is drunk." She replied awkwardly, pulling her best friend by the wait.

"Hey! I'm not drunk. I know you," Min Joo pointed her clutch at her friend, "Kelene, and you," she shifted the direction of the clutch to Neth, "Neth."

Neth laughed and threw away the cigarette butt. "Ok ok. I'll see you guys at school. Take care." With that, he left Kelene standing with Min Joo in her arms, staring into space.

For once, Min Joo looked stupid infront of a guy they both liked, and Kelene could almost feel herself smile.

**************************************

The next morning, Kelene woke Min Joo up at eleven. She made some breakfast using what she could find in Min Joo's kitchen. The maids offered to cook, but Kelene insisted on cooking personally. After all, she was in a good mood.

"Joo. Wake up. I made breakfast." Kelene called softly, shaking her friend who was still sleeping under the covers.

Min Joo stirred abit and mumbled, "awhile more."

Kelene laughed and pulled Min Joo up to a sitting position. "Wake up! It's eleven! It's Saturday, we shouldn't waste our time staying at home on a Saturday. Wake up! I made some sandwiches and eggs." She quipped and placed a tray of food on the bed infront of her groggy friend. "Breakfast in bed. Perfect isn't it?"

Min Joo yawned and rubbed her temples as she picked up the glass of freshly blended tomato juice. "Oh, splitting headache." She murmured and finished the glass of juice in a gulp.

Kelene smiled and shifted the plate of food slightly forward. "Eat this, and you'll feel better. I can't imagine how much you drank last night. It's shameful to let Neth-" She paused halfway at the mention of their senior. Quickly, she took away the empty glass and stood up. "I'll go wash this."

"Wait, wait. What about Neth?" Min Joo asked, convinced that Neth must have seen them last night. She had a very faint memory of seeing someone like Neth. However, she was not sure if he was the correct guy.

Kelene wanted to slap herself for blurting this out. She could have kept that small conversation a private memory for Neth and herself. Now, it is all ruined.

She turned around and smiled awkwardly. "Nothing. We sort of met him last night outside MOS."

Min Joo's mouth dropped open. "Oh my god. We did, did we?! I knew it!" She was hitting her head absent-mindedly as she continued. "Oh! Why did I get myself so drunk last night?! I must have appeared stupid. Did I? Did I appear stupid? Oh Kel, tell me!" She was practically begging from the bed.

Kelene smiled. "No. We didn't speak. We just said hi and left. Don't worry, Neth doesn't really know that you're drunk." She lied. "Besides, it was so dark, he wouldn't be able to see the state you were in. So no worries."

Min Joo, in her white nightgown sat up. "Right! He wouldn't have seen how stupid I looked right? It was dark and I bet he drank too."

Her best friend turned around and headed towards the bathroom with the empty glass still in her hand. "Yup. Don't worry."

Kelene went into the bathroom and turned on the tap. The water ran freely down the pipe as she looked into the mirror. She saw a tired face looking back at her. She hated her looks. If only she looked half as pretty as Min Joo, probably, Neth might noticed her.

She splashed some cool water against her face and felt like crying.

***************************************

That day, the girls went shopping at Orchard Road. It was their favourite shopping paradise. There are not only branded products that Min Joo loved, there are also delicious Japanese food that Kelene cannot succumb her temptation to. The two girls were browsing in a Gucci shop when Min Joo's cellphone rang.

"Who's that?" Kelene asked, looking away from the neatly arranged bags on the shelves.

Min Joo looked at the caller-ID and shrugged. Slipping some shopping bags onto her shoulder, she picked up the phone.

"Hello?"

"Hi. Hey. Um. This is Neth."

Min Joo nearly dropped her phone when she heard that familiar English accent coming from the other side of the receiver. Kelene grabbed her friend's elbow to stop her from fainting.

"Hello?" Neth asked.

"Oh, yeah. Hey. Hi." Min Joo stuttered, sitting down on a couch.

Neth laughed. "Oh, I think you're quite surprised at this sudden approach. I got your number from the orientation students' list. If you remember, you wrote your number there."

Min Joo remembered. At that time, she wanted to search for Neth's number too, but she did not know his name at that time.

"Oh. Yes?" She asked, still trying to catch her breath.

"Oh. I was thinking, em. Since tomorrow is a Sunday, do you care to go for dinner tonight? I know a great place for pasta." Neth asked, his voice not a tinge of nervousness.

Min Joo gripped her phone and let out a wide smile. "Sure! Where? What time?"

"I'll pick you up at seven? Your place?"

"Sure. Sure. Yes. Okay. See you. Bye!" Min Joo hung up the phone and grabbed her friend's hands. Kelene had been sitting beside her patiently, trying to guess who that person was on the other end.

"Oh. My. God." Min Joo cried, stressing each word. "That was Neth."

Kelene's heart fell. She dropped her bags of shopping stuff and her eyes were wide open.

"Shocking right?! I was also damn shock! He asked me out for dinner tonight! How?" Min Joo gushed, shaking her friend's hand.

"Neth called? And asked you out for dinner?" Kelene finally managed this question with alot of difficulty.

Min Joo nodded blissfully. "Yes! My god! I can't believe it!" She squealed and looked at her friend. "Do you want to go tonight? Let's go together. Neth said the place he's taking us to has great pastas."

Kelene shook her head. "Nah. It's a date. You two go ahead."

Min Joo giggled and hugged her friend. "I'll never, ever, dump a best friend for a guy. Never."

***********************************

Neth came by at exactly seven pm. He was driving a red Volvo. Although the comparison between his old car and Min Joo's BMW was pretty big, Min Joo told herself that when he officially becomes her boyfriend, she will buy him a new car that will suit his charisma.

"Hey Min Joo." Neth greeted cheerfully as the girl in a black mini dress approached him from her main gate.

"Hey!" She greeted back in a wide smile.

Neth was about to open the door for Min Joo when he realised someone else tagging behind her.

It was Kelene.

She was dressed in a light blue doll dress that had little frills at the collar. Her hair was pulled back with a LV hairband Min Joo bought for her a year ago.

"Hi." She said when Neth met her eyes.

Neth was taken aback slightly for her presence. Nonetheless, he replied her politely. "Hey."

Min Joo grinned and tugged Neth's elbow. "She is my best, best friend. I can't leave her out for such a wonderful dinner right? Kel loves pasta. So I thought we can all go together."

Neth, still slightly shocked, smiled awkwardly. "Right. Yeah. Okay."

Min Joo giggled and opened the backdoor of Neth's car. "Kel, come!"

Kelene could sense Neth's disappointment. The disappointment was written all over his face. She walked forward and past Neth. She slipped into the car slowly and closed the door.

Min Joo got into the front seat and they made their way down to the fanciful restaurant Neth recommended. All the while, in the car, only Neth and Min Joo conversed. Kelene was simply an ornament, at least that was what she felt.

**************************************

The restaurant was quiet when they made an entrance. It had a romantic ambience and the place was lightly dimmed. Couples were seated at their tables, holding hands, enjoying each other's company and the live classical music band on the stage. A waitress came up to them and asked Neth if he made any reservation.

"Neth De Souza." He replied.

De Souza. So, he is an Eurasian, thought Min Joo quietly.

The lady gently scrolled down a list of names using her index finger and stopped at one.

"Neth De Souza. Table for two?" She asked and looked up.

Neth coughed and scratched the back of his head. "Three actually. An extra person decided to come along. Can we make any arrangement?"

The waitress by the name of Nancy smiled politely. "Yes, sure. We'll just add an extra chair. Please follow me."

Kelene was feeling terrible. How could Min Joo do this to her? How could she bring her on HER date? It was totally unforgivable.

While Kelene was feeling negative, Min Joo felt the opposite. She was very happy her friend could share this joy with her. She was glad that her Kelene was part of her first date.

They found a seat that faced the Singapore River directly sat down. Min Joo loved the scenery. It was beautiful as the lights in Singapore begin to light up like little stars. The boats packed with tourists were floating beneath them, taking photos of the beautiful ONE FULLERTON and THE ESPLANADE.

"This place is beautiful." She gasped almost breathlessly as a gust of breeze blew at her face gently.

Neth smiled. "I'm glad you like it. I ordered some red wine as well. Are you fine with it?"

Kelene wanted to reply, but she realised that his eyes were only on Min Joo. She kept the comment to herself.

"Yes, sure. I'm fine with anything." Min Joo replied, crossing her legs beneath the table to make herself more comfortable. "Kel, how about you?"

Kelene smiled weakly and opened up the napkin over her laps. "I'm fine."

Neth gave a signal to the waitress and the waitress came shortly with a bottle of red wine in an ice bucket. She poured into the three glasses gently and walked off after saying, "enjoy."

Neth smiled and picked up his glass. He raised it slightly, "cheers to our first dinner." He spoke softly.

Min Joo chinked her glass against his and looked at Kelene.

"Kel. Your glass?" She asked.

Kelene pretended to be dreaming and sat up. "Oh, yeah." She picked up her glass and gently knock it against theirs. "Cheers."

Their dinner was basically more about Neth and Min Joo. Kelene had been quiet throughout the entire dinner except when Min Joo urged her to speak. She watched quietly as the two lovebirds conversed with laughter and giggles. Kelene had the urge to leave, but she knew that this move would affect the whole dinner.

"Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom." Kelene spoke as she wiped her mouth with the napkin on her laps. She just finished her mini chocolate fondue and the last course was coffee.

Min Joo was just recovering from a laugh when she looked at her friend. "Do you need me to come with you?"

Kelene smiled and stood up. "No, it's okay. I can go on my own."

Kelene went into the ladies and locked herself in a cubicle. She sat on the toilet cover and sobbed. She felt humilated, and extremely ugly sitting right next to Min Joo the whole night. She was never invited. She was never asked to come along. Why did Min Joo insist she tagged along? Now Neth probably thinks that she is irritating and someone with no sense of initiative. All these thoughts made Kelene sobbed louder.

She stopped sobbing when someone else came into the bathroom. Wiping off the tears and smeared mascara, she flushed the tissue into the toilet bowl and came out. Gently, she splashed some cold water against her face and looked into the mirror. Her make up was running and her eyes were red. For awhile, she felt sorry for herself for landing herself in such plight. She should not have agreed to come.

However, the night had to end. Bracing herself, she wiped off the water droplets off her face and opened up her handbag. She took out her concealer and gently dapped it across her face.

Even if Min Joo made her look bad infront of Neth, she was going to end it with confidence and presentability.

She finished off the touch up with some pink lipstick and pressed her lips together.

"I'm not going to lose to her."

************************************

That night, Kelene went home with a thousand of mixed feelings. Neth had dutifully sent her home before sending Min Joo back. The thought of their private time together suffocated Kelene.

As she walked down the HDB corridors of tenth level, her cellphone beeped.

She took it out from her bag and saw "1 new message received".

Thnx babe for comin with me tonite! Neth is a great guy isnt it? Im glad tat u were there with me on Neth's n my 1st date! Luv ya! Goodnite my BFF!

Kelene had a sudden urge to throw her handphone down from where she stood. She held back and leaned against a wall. Tears were trickling down her cheeks. These were the tears she prevented from falling all night. Now, they flowed freely.

Sobbing loudly now, she sat on the floor and covered her face in her hands.

That night, Kelene decided what she should do.

*******************************

On Monday, Kelene made her way to school on her own. She saw Min Joo coming towards her from the school's carpark and quickened her pace towards the lecture hall.

Min Joo, dressed in a dark blue checkered top and white short pants ran up to her best friend.

"Kel!" She called and stopped her friend's pace abruptly.

Kelene bit her lower lip as she hugged her files tighter towards her chest.

"Kel. I tried calling you the entire Sunday! Why didn't you pick up your phone? I even called your house. I nearly make my way down to your place okay? I thought something happened to you!" Min Joo asked worriedly, placing a hand on Kelene's elbow.

Kelene forced a smile and turned to face her friend with a pretty face. "Um, I was helping out at my dad's all day. You know, Sunday, busy day for my father."

Min Joo looked more relieved. She smiled slightly. "Oh. But you should have at least dropped me a SMS or something. I was worried sick. We contact each other everyday since Primary school. If you don't contact me suddenly, of course I will worry. Right?"

Kelene smiled widely and before she could reply, Neth came jogging towards them.

"Min Joo!" He called out cheerfully.

Min Joo turned around and waved at her new interest. "Neth!"

Neth stopped infront of them and realised Kelene was around. "Oh, good morning." He said, directing it to her.

Kelene nodded with a weak smile. "Morning." She glanced at her watch delibrately and looked up. "I have to run. Lecture. See you guys later." She excused herself and ran up the stairway.

"Kel! Kel!" Min Joo called out from behind but Kelene continued walking, ignoring the calls.

"She's been acting strange since Saturday. I wonder if anything's wrong." Min Joo asked, her brows frowning, showing that she was thinking of something seriously.

Neth shrugged. "I don't think so. She was fine when I dropped her off on Saturday night."

Min Joo disposed the negative thought and shrugged as well. "Oh well. Perhaps." She smiled and looked at Neth. "I don't have lecture this morning. Want to do breakfast together?"

****************************

Kelene was at Min Joo's house that evening. They were lying lazily around in bed with fashion magazines. Min Joo was munching on a chocolate bar when her phone beeped.

She jumped out of bed and rushed to the dressing table. She opened the message and smiled to herself.

hey sweetie. im going home now. had a long day. call u later. hugs and loves, ur boy. xoxoxo

"Neth?" Kelene asked, sitting up from her lying position.

Min Joo grinned and jumped back into bed. "Yeah."

"Are you guys sort of together?" Kelene asked, putting her packet of chips aside.

Min Joo giggled and faced her best friend. "I don't know Kel. Everything feels just right when I'm with him. He's so handsome, so smart. He is practically everything I look for all these years. I think he likes me too."

Kelene looked away. "Oh really."

"Yeah. If we get together, oh Kel. I don't know what to say. I'll be on cloud nine. It's like a dream come true." Min Joo spoke dreamily.

"Oh yeah. It will be." Kelene replied coldly and reached into her bag of chips once again.

**************************************

"Hello?"

"Jack? This is Kelene."

"Oh, hey."

"Look, I have something to propose. Are you free to meet up?"

"Oh, sure. What is it about?"

"Min Joo."

****************************

The week breezed past quickly. It was finally Friday night once again. Kelene urged Min Joo to go clubbing since she was not feeling too happy the whole week because of PMS. Min Joo totally understood. Her best friend was not herself since Sunday.

"You know, I promised Neth I'll not go clubbing."

The girls were dressing up in Min Joo's room. Min Joo was applying a light touch of blush across her cheeks.

"Oh please Joo! I need to let it out. I had a hard week. Can't you just come with me? Just tonight? We'll keep it from Neth." Kelene pleaded, kneeling on the bed with her hands clasped together.

Min Joo stopped and turned around. "Oh, alright. Last time okay?"

Kelene smiled widely and went over to give her best friend a hug.

"You're my best friend."

**************************

Jack was waiting for them in the VIP room. He was thinking back of the conversation Kelene and him had on Wednesday. They met up at Vivocity that very evening for dinner and Kelene proposed something that he was looking forward to for the past ten years.

"You know, after Russell, she never really dated any other guys." Kelene was saying, taking a sip of her white wine. "You had a great chance, but she never really did see you, because this guy Neth came along."

"Neth?"

"Yeah. A senior in our school. I think they just got together recently. That's why I come forward to you now, before they sink in any deeper. I'm sure you don't want Min Joo to start going out with this guy. You know how serious Min Joo is about relationships. You don't want to wait for another three to five years again." Kelene spoke confidently, leaning back against the chair.

Jack took a sip of his wine and leaned back. "What do you mean? Why are you telling me all these?'

Kelene smiled, crossing her arms over her chest. "Simple. Because I like Neth, and you like Min Joo. It's simple isn't it? It's like one plus one, will always equal to two. If we work hand in hand together, we might just get what we want."

Jack arched a brow and looked at Kelene with a puzzled look. "What do you mean?"

Kelene laughed. Jack had never seen this side of her. Kelene had always appeared to be quiet and polite.

"My, my. Jack, are you THAT dense? No wonder Min Joo never looked at you. You're dense." She remarked coldly.

Jack finished his glass of wine and poured himself another.

"What do you want me to do?"

********************************

"Hey Jack!" Min Joo called out and brought Jack back to earth.

"Oh, hey." He managed with a smile and looked at Kelene. "Hey."

"Hi." Kelene greeted back and sat down.

"I'm here to accompany Kel tonight. You probably won't see me much anymore. I'm not even supposed to be here. My boyfriend would get mad at me for coming back here." Min Joo told Jack as she took her seat beside Kelene.

Jack smiled. "No worries. This secret is safe with us."

Kelene smiled back and gave Min Joo a gently pat on the hand. "Neth wouldn't know."

Min Joo finally smiled. "Well, alright. Let's drink to our hearts' content then! A dozen shots of tequila please!"

*************************

By three a.m, Min Joo was drunk. She was blabbering nonsense and swinging her shoes all over the room, the bouncer had to pick it up for her several times until Kelene decided it would be better if the shoes remained off.

She smiled at Jack when Min Joo was lying on the sofa.

"I'll go, and make a phonecall." She spoke in a crisp voice and walked out of the room.

Jack looked at the drunk Min Joo and touched her face.

"You're mine. I hope you forgive me." He whispered and brushed a strand of hair away from her face.

Min Joo groaned and swept Jack's hand away.

*******************************

Kelene was waiting outside of MOS as Neth's car stopped by the pathway. Quickly, she gave Jack a call.

"He's here. Bring her out." She spoke quickly and jogged up to Neth's car.

Neth stood out from the car and saw Kelene approaching him. He could not see Min Joo.

"Where is she?" He asked.

Kelene looked into his dark brown eyes. "Neth."

"Where is Min Joo?" He asked again, looking past the girl.

"She-" Kelene was about to speak when she saw Neth's eyes fixed on something behind her.

She turned around and saw Min Joo walking out with Jack. Jack was grabbing her by the waist and when they were nearer to Neth, Min Joo planted a long kiss onto Jack's lips.

Neth's eyes dropped and looked at Kelene.

"What is going on?" He finally mustered the courage to ask.

Jack came forward with Min Joo still in his arm, wasted. She was slightly conscious, leaning against Jack's shoulder.

"That is Min Joo's boyfriend, Jack." Kelene replied softly.

Neth looked at Jack immediately, searching for an answer.

Jack looked at Neth. "I'm Jack. Min Joo's boyfriend. I'm sorry if she didn't tell you anything. She had been two timing me several times the past ten years, and each time I forgive her because I love her. This time, I have to stop it before it gets out of hand. I hope you understand."

Neth was leaning against his car as Jack spoke. Kelene could see Neth's face turning white.

"Kelene. Tell me this isn't true. Did you call me to come just because of this?" He asked, his voice shaking.

Kelene reached out and touched Neth's arm which he withdrew almost immediately.

"Look. This is the truth. I meant to tell you on Saturday, but realised that it wouldn't be too good for me to interfere. So I got her boyfriend to talk to you instead. It would be much better and understood. Now you know, Min Joo isn't suitable for you. She has someone else-"

Neth went back into his car before Kelene could complete her sentence.

He stepped on the accelerator and went off.

In his mind, there were thousands of questions. That girl was Min Joo's friend for over ten years, why would she lie about something like that? And that guy, Jack, seemed sincere about what he said too.

Nothing beats Min Joo's kiss for Jack.

With that, Neth made up his mind.

********************************

The next morning, Min Joo woke up with a splitting headache. Kelene was beside her, sleeping.

She sat up and inhaled deeply. She needed oxygen for her brain. She felt like her head was splitting into two. She always knew that going clubbing with Kelene was safe. She can be dead drunk, and the next morning, she would always be at home.

She decided to give Neth a call. After all, she did not contact him all night. He would be worried sick.

Quietly, she walked towards her window and dialed Neth's number.

It took awhile before Neth picked it up.

"Hey baby. I'm up. You sleeping?" She asked, her voice raspy.

Neth was quiet over the other side.

"Baby?"

"I think, we can stop seeing each other. Really Min Joo. What game are you playing?" Neth asked, his voice thickened with disappointment.

"Game? What are you talking about?" Min Joo asked back, gripping her phone.

"You fucking have a boyfriend and you didn't tell me! You made me think you're all so single and available since the orientation! Thanks so much for fucking leading me on." Neth shouted, his voice breaking into sobs.

"I-" Min Joo wanted to say something but was at a loss. What was happening?

"Shut up! I don't want to listen to your lies anymore! You fucking liar. How can you do this to me?! I actually DID love you, and YOU betrayed my love for you. How can you date someone and at the same time tell me you like me? You're just a fucking player." He ranted angrily, "I don't want to ever talk to you again. Even if we see each other at school, PLEASE do not come forward. I will turn nasty, so don't try me. You don't want me to humiliate you at school."

With that, he hung up the phone mercilessly, leaving Min Joo standing in her pink nightgown, completely dazed.

Min Joo turned around and looked at Kelene, still asleep. What happened last night?

She sat on a couch and thought carefully. She could not remember anything distinctive besides getting drunk.

She tip-toed across the room and took out Kelene's phone. She peeped at the call log and dropped the phone with a dull thud.

Kelene woke up to that sound and sat up groggily. "What's that sound?" She asked before regaining her senses when she saw Min Joo standing by the dressing table, her face looking straight at Kelene. She had tears in her eyes.

"Joo. What is it?" She asked, pushing the covers aside and got off the bed.

"Tell me, did you call Neth last night?" Min Joo asked calmly.

Kelene smiled nervously. "Of course not. It was our secret, remember?"

Min Joo picked up the phone that dropped on the floor and showed it to Kelene. "Then, why did you call Neth at three in the morning?"

Kelene took a step back and covered her mouth with one hand. She had totally forgotten about the call log.

"I-" She started.

"What?! What did you do? What did you say? Why does Neth think that I have a boyfriend?!" Min Joo asked, now angry.

Kelene took a step forward, this time braver. "Tan Min Joo, what happened today, was purely YOUR doing." She started, taking a step forward again. "YOU think you own everything, anything. Oh, you're the happy little Min Joo everyone loves. But you are wrong! There are other people who deserve some love too! Like me!"

Min Joo stumbled back and knocked against her make up stool, tears in her eyes.

"You think, being rich, being beautiful, makes you EVERYTHING? Isn't it? You get the best guys, you get the best things, you have a great family, well, YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST KEPT AT THAT!" Kelene shouted, pointing at Min Joo with her index finger as she completed her last sentence.

Min Joo covered her ears and screamed.

"Stop! Stop!"

Kelene laughed coldly, walking towards the bed. "Min Joo. Look at you. You have this day too."

Min Joo, now crying, grabbed Kelene by the arm and shook her. "Tell me! Tell me! Why did you do that? I gave you everything. Everything I have. Why do you have to do this to ME?! I'm your best friend! How can you do this to me?!"

Kelene broke free from the grasp and pushed Min Joo onto the floor. "Shut up! You gave me EVERYTHING? Yeah, sure, you gave me heartbreaks and insults too! What a PERFECT package."

Min Joo sat up and hugged her knees. "Why? Why did you have to do this? What did I do?" She asked in between sobs.

Kelene smirked and knelt beside the crying girl. "Do you remember, in Primary school? People often laughed at me for being your dog. And do you remember, what you said? You told them that I'm a cute puppy you bought from a pet shop. Do you remember that? I bet you don't! Because to you, it was a joke! A bloody fucked up joke! In Secondary school, we met Russell the same time, but he DID NOT even look at me! Not even once! As long as you were there, he could never see me! When you were not around, do you know that he smiled at me? He spoke to me with such gentleness I thought I could fall in love with him. But YOU! You had to take him away! Why?! Why?!" Kelene cried and shook Min Joo by the arm, causing the nightgown straps to fall sideways from Min Joo's boney shoulders.

"You had FUCKING everything and I have none! NONE! I worked so damn hard in JC to get into the medical course and YOU!? You got your fucking dad to pay for your degree! Why?! Why do you have to keep tagging around me?! Why?! Do you know how ugly I feel when I'm with you?! Because you MADE me feel that way! You took me out on YOUR dates and made ME feel like shit. I like Neth! I love him! But you had to take him away! Like the way you took Russell away from me! You're doing the fucking same! Now, you know, how it feels like to be dumped by a guy and great for you, Tan Min Joo. Congrats to having your FIRST imperfection in life!"

With that, Kelene stood up and went into the bathroom.

Min Joo was shaking badly as she curled herself up on the floor. What exactly happened? What did she do? How? How could Kelene treat her this way, after all these years of being together. How?

Kelene came out shortly in her own dress and grabbed her bag. Before heading out, she turned around. "I hope your NEXT BBF wouldn't suffer the same fate as me. It's insufferable."

Ending their friendship at that, Kelene left the room.

**************************

Kelene was waiting at the void deck of her house in a black tanktop and straight cut jeans when a red Volvo stopped infront of her.

She smiled as Neth stepped out of the car. "Hey." He spoke, with a wide, handsome smile.

"Hey, yourself." Kelene teased.

Neth opened the front door for Kelene and Kelene slipped into the car.

Kelene smiled as she fastened her seatbelt.

Finally, she takes the front seat, and she is no longer just an ornament.

Neth placed a hand over Kelene's and asked, "so, where do you want to go for dinner?"

Kelene sat up and looked into Neth's deep eyes. "I'm okay with anything."

Neth smiled. "Right, I'll take you to somewhere beautiful and romantic for some Japanese cuisine. Okay?"

His girlfriend nodded in approval as the car left the side curb.

"I wonder, how Min Joo is. I haven't seen her around in school." Neth spoke, breaking the short silence in between them.

"Oh? I heard she left Singapore. Well, it would be better for her that way, especially after what she did to you." Kelene replied, dabbing some lipgloss on her lips.

Neth smiled and placed his hand over Kelene's again. "Thanks for telling me the truth that night. I would have been hurt if you didn't do what you did."

Kelene smiled and held onto Neth's hand. "You know, everything I did, was worth it. Because, it was all for you."

"I would do anything for you, Neth."

Believe

2008-06-15T18:02:00.008+08:00

Seven year old Jon was sitting in his mother's bedroom. He was, for awhile, at a loss. His mother had been lying in bed for days after his father's funeral. Jon did not know what ailed his mother, but after losing his father, he knew that cannot do without her.

"Mom. Please eat something?" Jon pleaded softly, placing a spoonful of porridge against his mother's cracked lips.

His mother turned and back-faced her son, tears falling down the side of her eyes.

Jon sighed and placed the spoon back into the bowl. For the past three days, he tried to fix his own meals, and function the washing machine. Cooking plain porridge was easy. His mother used to cook him porridge when he was ill. To him, it was even better than medicine.

"Mom, please eat." He continued in a soft voice, shaking his mother lightly.

Mrs Ng did not respond to her son's plea. She was too sad, too heartbroken to eat anything. Life can never be perfect without her husband. How could he leave her? How could he leave her and a seven year old son in her care? How irresponsible.

This went on for another day before she totally lost consciousness.

*************************************

When Jon was ten years old, another mishap befell on his mother. Mrs Ng was diagnosed with breast cancer.

She had problems trying to pay off the monthly bills and Jon's living expenses. Now, with this illness, she had no idea how she could cope with it. Although everyone around her told her that breast cancer is not fatal, there were, in fact, many who died due to that too.

What if she could not survive through this ordeal? What if the cancer cell spreads? What is going to happen to Jon? Who is going to care for him?

Nothing worried her more than Jon.

"Mom, are you okay? Is it painful?" Jon asked one day, when she was going through chemotherapy.

Mrs Ng smiled as if she was never in pain. "Always believe, Jon. Believe. Only by believing, you can do something. You can do anything in this world. Like me, I believe that I will get well, and yes I will! I won't let anything pull me down. So, my dear son, please also always remember that."

From that day onwards, Jon finally learnt how to believe.

And because he kept believing, his mother got well.

**************************************

Jon was an average boy in school. He was not very tall, and was very small sized. He was fair and had big round eyes that sparkle whenever he smiled. When he entered Secondary school, he found a group of friends he could mix around with and like every teenager, discovered music.

At fifteen, he was determined to learn beatboxing.

Beatboxing is a form of vocal percussion connected with hip hop culture(it has been called the fifth element of hip hop) although it is not limited to hip hop music.It primarily involves the art of producing drum beats, rhythm, and musical sounds using one's mouth, lips, tongue, voice, and more. It may also involve singing, vocal imitation of turntablism, the simulation of horns, strings, and other musical instruments.

It all actually started with an audio clip his friend sent him on beatboxing. He found it interesting to be able to do something like that, and was bent on learning it, making it his interest, and hobby.

Jon went into a beatboxing forum one day, and read all about it. With all that information given and stated in the forum, he started practicing on his own. He did various sounds with his mouth and impressed everyone with what he could do.

Perhaps, due to his immense interest in beatboxing, he was confident enough to join a talent time competition that very year when he was still a freshie.

That day, Jon was extremely nervous backstage.

"Don't worry, okay? Just do it!" His buddies were cheering for him, trying to give him some courage.

Jon looked out and saw a studio seated with a relatively big number of audiences and several cameras on stage, and off. His heart raced. What if, he lost it? What if, he became some sort of an embarrassment afterwards? Suddenly, he was not very confident with his beginner beatboxing skill.

The group before him finished their performance and the host was announcing Jon's next performance.

"That's it. Either I make it, or I don't." Jon muttered under his breath in his white T-shirt and baggy jeans. He gripped onto his microphone and stepped out onto the stage when the host announced his name.

Everyone in the studio applauded. Some cheered.

Jon stood in the middle of the stage, took a deep breath and looked at the expectant eyes of his friends who came to throw him any support he needed. The spotlights were shining on him mercilessly, and the cameras were fixed on him, waiting for him to do something spectacular.

Calmly, he lifted his microphone, and placed it near his lips.

The rest, was history. The audience went crazy when he did what he did. Everyone was impressed.

A new talent was born.

Since then, Jon had been recognised as "Singapore's Walking Jukebox".

********************************
Through the years, Jon continued to search for higher levels of beatboxing. Very often, his hardwork was not recognised. People look forward to the end results, and they demand it to be good. Jon practiced everyday without fail, hoping that one day, he will be able to bring more entertainment and joy to people around him. He always believes that hard work pays off.

People started to recognise him in 2006 and he gained a little fame for his boyish boy-next-door looks and his talent.

Jon, like any other boys, found someone he loved along the way too. From there, he learnt what loving someone really meant. It completed his soul. It lasted for about three years, before he was left alone again, in search for a special someone to fill in that empty slot.

His videos were put up on the Youtube website and several other beatboxing related websites. It was about 2006 to 2007, his beatboxing got him somewhere.

He was asked to beatbox at a local club, take part in commercials, and attend events that he was asked to attend. He met several beautiful people along the way, and also, inevitably, he met some people who brought down abit of his ego and confidence.

However, Jon, unlike other famous people around, there is practically no airs about him. He was friendly to almost everyone. To him, everyone was a friend.

That was also why, so many people loved him.

************************************

This story is actually depicted from a real life character, Dharni, who went through life with a single parent, and still, maintained the very humane side of a human being. His love for music, had made Singapore very proud of him and his acheivements.

There was a good quote Dharni made me believe in.

The one that truly inspired me.

Learn.
You learn as you go.
And when you learn, you'll fail.
You get back up on your feet,
And try again.
This time you fall again.
You look back and think where you've gone wrong...
Think hard.
And you'd realise that that problem is just right in front of you.
You correct it.
Continue learning as you get stronger.

Believe.
Believe in everything in every possible way.
If you believe, things will happen.
Seeing is believing as they all say.
Overlook that and everything is possible.
Open up to new perceptions from different people, different things, put them to good use and you'd be wiser.
Miracles will happen.
Bizzare Phenomenons, what-so-ever...
You will grow.
And be formidable.
If you just, believe.
Believe in the unbelievable.
Believe that it's all possible.

You can want anything.
You can have it.
What you really want to be.
What you really want to have.
What you really want in life.
You just have to learn, and believe.
And

WORK HARD FOR IT WITH ALL YOU GOT WITHOUT THE SLIGHTEST DOUBT IN YOUR MIND THAT IT'S NOT POSSIBLE!

Because that's what your mind wants you to think, but it's NOT!

Because you dare to churn out your dream into reality.

I have learnt. Have you?

********************************************

Editor's note: Dharni is now beatboxing every Saturday at BUTTERFACTORY down at Clark Quay. To catch him, go down on Saturday nights.

Thanks, Dharni, for allowing me to write about you. Although not every single detail is correct, I hope that with your story, I can inspire more people in believing. Thanks for telling me so much more about you.

For readers, if you know any ordinary person, who does extraordinary things, please let me know. I would love to use these people, to make Singaporeans more aware that we can do whatever we put our minds into.

Meanwhile, remember...

BELIEVE.

Below is a clip of Dharni's beatboxing performance.

Ever After

2008-06-11T20:16:00.003+08:00

It all started on a cool summer's day in November, 2006. I was at work, as usual, when I recieved a phonecall from an old classmate.

"Hello?"

"Lisa! It's me! HuiMin! Remember?"

I was busy sketching out my new spring collection when that phonecall came. I was not very pleased with the interruption. With the phone clutching between my ear and shoulder, I gave a very cold reply.

"No."

The other party did not seem to realise my displeasure. She went on in her usual cheery voice.

"Tan HuiMin! Singapore Chinese Girls School? Remember? You're Lisa Sim right? Remember the girl who used to sit beside you for a consecutive four years in school? The one in pigtails."

Oh. THAT Tan HuiMin. My impression of her was not pleasant. She was loud, fat, and ugly. I often made fun of her pigtails.

Well, that reply made me look up from my work for awhile.

"Oh. HuiMin. Yes, I'm surprised you called." I said, in a clearly surprised tone.

I leaned back against the big armchair and took off my spectacles.

"Yes! You remembered right?! You used to call me Fat Min!" HuiMin gushed excitedly.

I rubbed my temples. To think she could be happy about that nickname I gave her.

Realising the pause, she continued.

"I found your office number when I browsed through a fashion magazine the other day. You're so capable now ah! Got a fashion company, and became an international fashion designer! You even have shops in New York! I must say we're all very impressed with your acheivements and we're very happy that you made-"

"Ok. Just tell me what is your purpose for calling." I interrupted. I was having a terrible headache and her voice really irritated me. I had to rush off these few sketches and attend a fashion show in Paragon.

Still not sensitive to my feelings, HuiMin went on, laughing. "Okay, okay. Well, it's my baby's birthday next week. She's turning one and I'm inviting all our friends to my house for a birthday celebration. Please do come. You didn't attend my wedding."

There was a sense of sadness in her voice that I could not avoid when she mentioned that I did not attend her wedding.

How time flies. I am already thirty and my ex classmate is already a mother. I reflected upon that and realised that I am still single, and an extreme workaholic.

"When is the celebration?" I asked, browsing through my Blackberry to check if I will still be in town on that day.

"Next Sunday!" HuiMin replied happily.

Gosh. How can anyone be so excited throughout an entire conversation?

I muttered "Sunday" as I scrolled towards the date. I had a flight at night to New York City. It was scheduled to fly at nine.

"I think I should be able to make it. SMS me your address. I'll come in the afternoon for awhile. I've to fly to New York at night that day." I replied, making a short reminder on my appointment list.

HuiMin hung up the phone excitedly with a loud "bye! See you then!"

I placed the receiver back onto its cradle and inhaled deeply. I looked at my sketches and slipped my feet back into my heels under the table. Swiftly, I walked out of the office and went up to Sandra, my personal assistant who I love dearly. It seemed that I could never do without her.

"Sandy. I'll be making my way down to Paragon later on. Get Roy to prepare the car by," I paused and took a quick glance at my Dior watch, "one. Don't be late. And Sandy, do me a favour will you? Get me lunch. I don't think I'll be able to go for mine because I still have to rush quite a bit of sketches. Will you be sweet enough to get me some sandwiches?"

Sandy was already making her phonecall to Roy to prepare the car at one. That was why I loved her. She is extremely efficient and she knows exactly what I look for in a personal assistant. I can never be too pleased with this young lady.

She hung up the phone and returned to me with a wide grin. "No tomatoes, wholemeal bread. Correct? Want me to get you some Latte as well?"

I laughed and started to make my way back to my office. "You know what I want."

*************************

That week breezed past like lightning when I had to attend countless of fashion events, interviews and at the same time complete my next season's collection. I was extremely busy, I almost forgot to get a baby gift.

Thankfully for Sandra, she came over to my house on Sunday morning with a Ralph Lauren Baby Girl's Set, all wrapped up in a beautiful silver wrapper. She even got me a mini gift card to fill in.

I was extremely touched by her visit. She always knew what I needed.

"I thought you might have forgotten." Sandra was telling me with a grin when she passed me the gift. "Ralph Lauren Baby Girl's Set. Three hundred and fifty bucks. Receipt in the paper bag."

I took the paper bag and looked into it. I smiled tenderly and gave her a warm hug. "Oh Sandy. How can I do without you? I had clearly forgotten about the afternoon appointment!"

I signed a cheque to Sandra before I told her to enjoy her Sunday. I knew that I could trust her to take care of my company in Singapore while I was away. She had been doing so the past four years.

In my black Versace dress and Prada clutch, I made my way to HuiMin's house.

I never knew that this trip, could change my life forever.

*******************************************

I was clearly amazed at the number of people that were invited to the baby's birthday bash. HuiMin lived in a fanciful condominium in the East and everyone was downstairs, enjoying the buffet lunch and barbeque. There were children running around, screaming at the top of their voices, while some men stood around and spoke in low voices.

I felt totally out of place. It had been an extremely long time since I attended a barbeque and I realised that I was apparently overdressed for this event. It was humid after the afternoon rain. I walked with poise in my Gucci shoes, hoping not to slip and fall.

I barely made it to the barbeque pit when I heard some women screaming at the top of their voices. "Lisa Sim!"

I was clearly embarrassed at the overwhelming greetings. Everyone turned to look at me as I made my way to the barbeque pit. I was blushing, I think.

"Oh Lisa!" A lady in a plain polo t-shirt and khaki shorts stepped forward and gave me a big hug.
I gave her a quick hug and released her. She smelt of persperation and food. Honestly, I was not feeling too good about hugging her. I was more worried if she might dirty my two thousand dollars dress.

"It's me, HuiMin!" She gushed, picking up my hand and leading me to a group of smiling ladies under a shelter. "Come! Let's meet our ex classmates!"

I groaned inwardly. They all looked totally out of place. Or should I say, I was the only one looking out of place. They were all dressed in the most "unglamorous" clothes, in my context. And, god, don't they ever do facials?

"This is Mary, Sharon, Tiantian.." As HuiMin went along with the introduction to a row of aunties, my mind drifted away for awhile. To me, it did not matter who was who. They all looked alike.

I managed to force a smile as I took a seat beside this lady, by the name of Mary. Apparently, she was from my class too in Secondary Four. Somehow, I could not remember her.

"I was the one sitting at the back. Remember?" Mary asked, trying very hard to refresh my memory.

I was getting annoyed. Besides having to get stuck in an awful place without air condition, I still had to go through torturous questionings. Why do these ladies keep wanting me to remember them? It was not necessary.

In my opinion, anyway.

Soon, everyone was around me, talking about my career, and asking me questions regarding fame and beauty.

"Oh wow. Look at your skin! They're so fair and firm! Mine all dropping already." Mary complained, pulling down her own cheeks. "How do you maintain all that?"

I smiled, "well, I do facials every once a week. I have a facial therapist back in New York who does that for me each time I go back. Otherwise, I go to a facial shop around in Singapore which he recommends. He is the key to my flawless skin." I replied and blurted, "I think you need a good facial. Seriously."

Mary laughed. "Aiyo! How to do? I have two children and only my husband is working. Where to find the money to do all these? You're really very lucky! Thirty, not married, and still so beautiful. Plus, you're so rich! We are so envious!"

Another lady, by the name of Tina chipped in. "Ya! How to compare to you? You're a fashion star leh! We are all just housewives. More like aunty already."

The group burst into laughter at that sentence. Sad to say, either I did not have a sense of humour, or I simply did not find it funny.

"Well, it still boils down to maintaining how you look." I insisted and took a sip of low graded fruit punch. I had no choice. This fruit punch tasted slightly too sweet and I only drink fruit juices and plain water. Nothing else.

"I heard that your nose is fake." Mary queried, causing my nose to be the main attention within the group.

I could hear soft mutters of, "yeah. It does look abit fake hor..."

I coughed delibrately and stood up, "excuse me, bit I need to go to the ladies." I excused myself as politely as I could and walked towards HuiMin. "Where is the ladies?" I asked quietly, still feeling their eyes on me. I was extremely uncomfortable.

HuiMin pointed towards the direction upwards and told me her apartment was on the third storey, fourth house from the left. I took my gift and took the elevator up to the third level.

During the period in the elevator, I had made up my mind to find an excuse to leave this barbeque as soon as I could. Those ladies were worst than the fishmongers in the market! They were nothing like women I knew in my social circle. A question came into my mind as I thought of these. Will I be like these women if I got married and have kids?

I shuddered at the thought as the elevator brought me up to the third level. I made my way to the fourth house with the most fanciful door. It was painted brown with floral designs on it. I was impressed with the inviting welcome.

I took off my shoes and went into the house. There were some men around the house, apparently friends of HuiMin's husband, sitting around, enjoying beer and some barbequed meat. I smiled politely at her husband, John, as he made his way up to me. We were introduced briefly earlier on.

"Come up to see the baby?" He asked, holding a plastic cup, his breath reeking of alcohol.

Yes, the baby. How could I not ask about the baby? She was supposed to be the star of the afternoon and I did not see her around.

"Oh yes. I did not see her downstairs." I asked, trying to be concerned about the baby. I am never fond of kids. "I need to pass her this gift." I continued with a smile, handing over John the Ralph Lauren paper bag with both hands.

John took it with gratitude. "Wow. Expensive gift. I'm sure with your great taste, our Sara will love what you have for her in there! Thanks!"

I gave him a light pat on his shoulder as I looked over his shoulder, "so, where is Sara?"

He brought me to the nursery. It was very well decorated. Once again, I was impressed with HuiMin's sense of house furnishing. She might not know how to dress up, but she knows indeed, how to make her house look its best.

The nursery was painted in a baby pink shade with Sara's photo enlarged, and printed on the wall. The white baby cot was resting against the adjacent wall and there Sara was, sleeping soundly in a white baby doll dress.

Somehow, I felt no connection to her.

"She's beautiful." I spoke, my voice in a crisp. I tried extremely hard not to look away from the child. I was more interested in the decoration of the room.

John stood beside me and smiled tenderly. I could see a sense of pride in his eyes. "Yes, she is. Min and I love her. We're going to work as hard as we can to give her the best things in life."

I was touched by those words. My parents never really bothered about giving me anything in life. They flew around often and I was always left alone at home with four maids. I grew up without knowing exactly how my father looks like. It was until three years back, when I finally started living with him in Miami whenever I visit the city.

"Oh yes, where is the ladies? I need to use it." I asked quietly, trying to hold my bladder. I had been trying to hold it in for half an hour and I really needed to release.

John kindly led me to a bathroom at the end of the corridor. As I used the bathroom, I looked around in awe. The bathroom had a fairytale theme. I think they got it renovated recently for their daughter. I was impressed through and through with the meticulous thoughts of HuiMin and John.

After I was done, I opened the door and was shocked when a man fell through. He was apparently drunk and I held on to him, his head leaning on my chest. How convenient.

I pushed him up lightly and he stood up straight.

"I need to pee." He said, looking at me with his bloodshot eyes.

I totally had a bad impression of him. How can anyone get dead DRUNK on a baby's birthday bash? Totally unethical.

I moved aside for him to use the bathroom. However, as he stepped forward, he lost his balance again and grabbed my breasts roughly.

I screamed and slapped his hands off. The other men came running towards us upon hearing my screams. "HE TOUCHED ME!" I screeched, still hitting aimlessly at the drunk man's hands.

John rushed forward and grabbed his friend from the back. Some guy came up too and tried to help this drunkard up. I straightened my dress and was terrified to see a wet patch on my dress.
"Oh my god. He pee-ed on me." I spoke in horror, stressing word for word, still staring at my dress. "It's Versace."

John apologised profusely. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. He's drunk."

I groaned inwardly and went back into the bathroom. I was mortified. How could any grown up man urine on ME? Especially on my precious Versace dress! I was close to tears as I wiped fiercely over the wet spot that was starting to smell.

I was busy wiping away when a gentle knock came on the door.

"Lisa, it's me, HuiMin. I heard about what happened. Do you need my help?" She asked kindly.

"No, thank you. I would prefer it if you leave me alone." I replied, trying not to sound too irritated with the interruption.

"Alright. Just let me know if you need anything." HuiMin replied and I heard her footsteps fading off the corridor.

I was upset. It had been a long time since I was so upset over something. This dress was my priced treasure. How could anyone ruin it?

I stayed in the bathroom for as long as I could remmeber, trying to salvage my dress.

I was absolutely sure I smelt of urine, but I could not appear too petty infront of the crowd, hence, I calmed myself down and walked out of the bathroom as graciously as I could. Everyone was scattered around like nothing big had happened. Everyone seemed to have forgotten all about me. For awhile, I was actually kind of annoyed.

I was about to exit the long stretch of narrow pathway of rooms when I felt a pat on my shoulder. Startled, I turned around and saw the guy who urinated on me earlier on, standing behind me, his eyes still bloodshot, but his face no longer showed any signs of tipsyness.

I was actually quite angry at the sight of him, despite realising how beautiful those pairs of eyes were for a man.

I took a step back, now taking cautious of him.

"Look, I... I'm sorry." He muttered, rubbing his forehead. "I... I wasn't really thinking. I... I'm sorry."

I placed a hand on my chest and gave it a little pat to hold back my temper before saying, "this, is a baby bash, and here you are, getting all drunk. Do you have any respect for the baby and her parents at all? This is not some wild party where you can get drunk and act irresponsibly."

He looked up at me, his eyes filled with apology. His pants still had a wet patch, reminding me of the absolutely irritating incident that happened an hour ago.

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have done that. I wasn't feeling too good today. I guess I should have held back my liquor. Anyway, I'm sorry. Is there any way I can compensate?"

"You. Ruined. My. Precious. Versace. Dress." I replied, pointing to the unsightly spot on my dress. I was not going to mince my words, in fact, I made a point to make it very, crystal, clear.

I thought, for a while, his mouth might have hung opened for a good five seconds.

"Maybe, I can pay for the dry washing?" He offered, taking out his wallet.

I placed my hand on top of his hand and took a deep breath. "Dry washing, won't help. You urinated on it. It's not water, or beer. It's urine. This dress is ruined. Forget it."

"Look, how much is this dress? Maybe I can pay for this dress." He insisted.

Without showing much empathy, I replied. "it's two thousand dollars. Versace."

Once again, his mouth fell opened.

I sighed. "Forget it. My luck."

I was turning to walk away when he held on to my elbow.

"Wait."

I stopped at my pace and turned back. I was apparently very unhappy.

"This is my namecard. I guess I haven't introduced myself. I'm Mike." He was pushing a namecard into my hand.

I took it out of courtesy and handed him my namecard in return. "Lisa Sim."

His eyes opened wider than they already was. "Lisa? That fashion designer?"

I closed my clutch and placed it under my underarm. "I'll take it as we've politely introduced each other. Now, I've to go. I've to catch a plane tonight. I'm not in the best of mood, but yes, nice meeting you."

Courtesy was important. I learnt over the years that being polite at all times was essential. Even to people you dislike, knowing your manners was a total unrelated issue. It all boils down to your upbringing ultimately.

With that, I left him standing at the end of the pathway, staring behind me as I left the house.

Never in my wildest dream, I thought I might see him again.

*****************************

A month after that awkward incident, I was back in Singapore. I had been flying to and fro. I was exhausted that particular January. It was the New Year and I decided to celebrate 2007's New Year in Singapore.

However, I was alone. Sandra had to spend the New Year with her family and I was stuck at home at New Year's Eve, sipping wine and enjoying some home-cooked pasta. The television was not showing anything spectacular that evening, except the usual New Year's Eve countdown programmes. I was switching the channels, trying to find a good channel to settle down with, but, every single channel seemed to be celebrating this joyous event.

I gave up ultimately and popped in a VCD. I decided to catch MY FAIR LADY instead. I love classics. Audrey Hepburn had always been my idol. She was beautiful and classy. The exact role model I aspired to be since I was fifteen.

I was about to settle down back at my couch when my Blackberry rang. I was slightly annoyed. It was New Year's Eve! I think I deserved that short little break.

"Hello?" I balanced my plate of pasta on my bended knee as I held the Blackberry against my ear.

"Lisa? Lisa Sim?" A male's baritone voice asked through the other side.

"Yes? Who am I speaking to?"

"Mike."

I knew like eight Mikes during that year. It took me quite awhile to realise which Mike he was.

"Mike? That party guy?" I asked, totally taken off guard.

Why did this man call?

"Yes. I'm glad you remembered." He replied, his voice sounded slightly more relieved.

I dropped my legs down from the couch and placed my plate on the glass table infront of me. "Yes?" I asked.

"Yes. It's New Year's Eve. Not celebrating?"

I took a sip of my wine and leaned back against the couch. "No." I replied dryly.

"Oh. Your family?"

"Back in Miami."

"Oh."

There was a pregnant pause. His background was totally silent. I wondered if he was celebrating over at his side too.

"Well, is there anything else you want to ask?"

Finally, I broke the silence.

"Actually, yes. Can I meet you for awhile today? I need to tell you something." He requested, his voice thickened with sincerity.

I gripped onto my Blackberry.

"What is it that you can't tell me through the phone?"

"It's..It's something. Can I drive over?"

There was a sense of urgency in his voice I could not ignore. However, I was not fond of meeting any man outside the business line. To me, men meant trouble. I believed in that since I was fifteen.

"I'm afraid, it's not convenient. I'm alone at home, and I'm not used to meeting any stranger, especially men, at my place."

"We can meet downstairs, whatever. I just need to see you."

"I'm sorry. I'm really not interested in meeting up with you, and I'm not obliged too. Happy New Year, and goodbye." I ended the phone conversation abruptly and hung up.

Just then, from where I was sitting, I could see the fireworks coming from Clark Quay. They formed beautifully in the dark sky as I watched from where I sat.

A sense of loneliness was running through me. How could anyone like me, feel lonely? I had everything in this world. A nice penthouse in Singapore, a gorgeous apartment in New York City, two fashion offices, my own fashion line, four cars, three chauffeurs, great parents, two great assistants in Singapore and New York, botox, and a gorgeous wardrobe.

I fulfiled many dreams a girl have. The only thing missing was, love.

I stacked my cushions up at the side of my couch and took a big gulp of wine before lying down. I curled my legs up and lay that way while I could hear soft cheers coming from neighbours and downtown.

Tears were falling. I did not realise that until my nose felt funny. I closed my eyes and it brought me back to the time I was fifiteen.

I was a happy schoolgirl back then, exceling in everything I did. I was happy. I was truly happy. I had friends, I had a happy family, I was doing things I loved. Even at that time, I had someone I loved. I was complete.

I was in love with the only guy I loved my whole life, Kok Leong. He was from a neighbouring boys' school and we met when we took the same bus home daily. He would always make an effort to delibrately take the same bus as I did. As time went by that year, we made friends.

We did everything together, and I never forgot that pair of eyes that attracted me since the first day we met. They were deep and brown. Kok Leong had a little bit of Eurasian feature although he was pure Chinese. I looked forward to school holidays too, because we would meet up and go swimming, or have fun at Gay World or Happy World. Whatever world we went to, we were happy in our own world.

*************************************

The New Year passed quickly and we were all back to our regular life. I was busier than ever after the holiday. Sandra came back happier, and pregnant with her second child. She broke the news to her husband on New Year, at the strike of twelve midnight.

How romantic.

I could almost said that line with a smile.

That first week of New Year went on smoothly, until the second weekend. Mike called again.

"Can we meet for lunch?"

I was in the middle of a meeting when he called. I know it was terribly rude of me to keep my phone on during a meeting, but the office in New York calls me all the time to update me with the progress over the other side. I had to balance myself out.

I excused myself from my staff and walked out of the meeting room. I was totally irritated with that persistance.

"I told you, I am busy. Which part of this sentence do you NOT understand?" I asked, now with obvious irritatibility.

"I really MUST see you. This is very important."

I was losing my cool.

"Look! I don't have any reason to meet you. I don't think, there's any need for us to meet or anything. If you don't mind, I would appreciate alot if you could stop calling me." I hung up my phone abruptly after saying that firmly.

He tried calling a few more times, but I hung up on him mercilessly.

There was no need to deal with this man's business.

Besides, apart from Kok Leong, no other guy would have interested me.

To me, whether Kok Leong was dead or alive, I was still his.

**********************************

The following morning, I went to office as usual. Sandra was at her desk when I arrived. She was beaming with a glow only happy pregnant women possessed.

"Someone sent a parcel for you." Sandra said with a grin and handed me a parcel wrapped with a brown paper. "It was a guy." She whispered with a wink and settled back down in her seat.

I took the parcel and went into my office. Parcel?

I took a sip of my coffee before opening up my parcel like a Christmas gift. There was a gift box underneath the sheet of brown paper. The box had heart shapes printed all over it.

I tore the remaining sheet of paper left on the box and found myself facing a big rectangular gift box. Slowly, I lifted up the lid of the gift box and for a moment, I was lost for words.

In the box, was a photoframe with a photo of a young girl in plaits, hugging a handsome young schoolboy. They were smiling happily back at me in their swimsuits.

I fell back against my armchair, unable to catch my breath. I picked up another smaller box almost effortlessly beside the photoframe and opened it up gently.

What I saw made me sob like a baby girl.

It was a ring that Kok Leong and I exchanged fourteen years ago.

A silver ring, with our names engraved on it.

I touched mine on my fourth finger and sobbed even harder.

*****************************************

I took a day off that day. Trust me, I was not typical of me to do so. I drove down to Kok Leong's grave and sat by his grave with a bunch of beautiful flowers I bought for him. There were fresh flowers by his grave when I got there.

I looked around, hoping to spot anyone who might be around. Maybe, someone who knew him sent the parcel to me. I needed answers, I needed assurance.

I sat by his grave and looked at his photo closely. I placed my fingers gently over the small photo and felt tears falling down my face, smudging my make up. For years, I could not come to terms with his death. He was healthy and happy. He had everything going on around him. Why? How? How could he go? Most importantly, how could he leave me alone?

I remembered how I skipped meals and sleep over him. I did not even attend his funeral that year. I was simply too devastated when his brother called me that afternoon, announcing Kok Leong's death.

"He died of asthma. Last night. So, he won't be meeting you by the pool this afternoon." He had told me.

I remembered dropping the receiver.

I was still sobbing as I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I looked up and saw Mike standing behind me, his eyes filled with tears and a sort of sadness I could not comprehend.

****************************

I am not going to explain further, or elaborate anything else. Mike and I got engaged last month, and we have arranged to have a grand wedding three months later.

I am so glad I found him, or, the other way round, he found me.

All thanks to HuiMin's baby bash.

Oh yes, did I mention? Behind the photoframe, there were some words written in cursive. I only saw it after Mike proposed to me that very evening.

Lisa Sim & Mike Tan
12-08-1994

I've always been in love with you,
but there was only Kok Leong in your eyes,
I became Kok Leong,
My twin brother...
So that you can love me too...
I love you, my Lisa.

Who Loves Me?

2008-06-06T22:59:00.002+08:00

Eighty four year old Mui Soh pushed her noisy old cart with stacks of used cupboards and deflated boxes on it. The sun was scorching hot as her feet made their tiny advances towards an old building in Bedok. She walked this route everyday, each day with a different feeling. Today, she was feeling happy. She collected three extra cupboards from a new HDB flat's void deck and she could fetch at least fifty cents more.

She knew the owner of the private recycling company. She used to be able to sell tissue paper at three packs for a dollar. However, she stopped doing so one year back because too many other senior citizens were doing the exact same thing, at the exact same place. She witnessed too many quarrels and unpleasantness amongst the old people, that she decided to give up selling tissue around Bedok area.

"Mui Soh! You're here! Today abit late huh!" The towkay (boss) of XING XIONG RECYCLING COMPANY PTE LTD greeted as the old lady pushed the cart unsteadily up a small slope.

The old lady pushed the cart up with much effort and took short breaths before speaking in her comfortable dialect, Teochew. "Take a look at these. Fetch me a good price okay?"

The fat boss laughed and lifted the cupboards and used boxes from the cart. Normally, these old people hardly bring in large amount of used cupboards and boxes, but they ask for very little cash returns. Hence, the towkay did not mind employing these old people to do this task. To him, he was giving them a revenue to pass days.

He weighed the items and stated a fixed price. "Two dollars. Can?" He asked back in Teochew. "Very good already! Normally for this, I only give one dollar and seventy cents!"

Mui Soh smiled. Lunch was settled. She nodded happily and recieved the purple note with thanks. She spent the entire morning from seven till noon looking for as many cupboards as possible. On bad days, she could walk around for the entire day to buy herself a decent dinner which normally consisted of rice, some vegetables and black stew sauce. Today, she can finally settle lunch before walking around to look for empty cans so that she could also settle dinner.

The old lady with hunchback looked very small as she walked amongst the crowd of Bedok Bus Interchange. With her back hunched, she was barely one hundred and fifty centimetres tall. Nobody would normally notice her, except the shop tenants because she would drop by often shop by shop, asking for used cupboards and unwanted boxes.

She walked towards the coffeeshop and ordered a packet of rice, with fried french beans and to finish it off with some black stew sauce. The lady charged her one dollar and fifty cents. Mui Soh was happy that she still had fifty cents with her. This fifty cents might come in useful later in the day if she needed it.

With the packet of rice, she made her way home to a three room flat which her late husband left her with three children twenty years ago. The walk to her house was a good fifteen minutes walk. However, Mui Soh often took half an hour before reaching home because of her slow steps. Age was catching up with her and she knew that her life was coming to an end soon. How soon, she still was not sure. She often dreamt of her late husband sitting in the house, but she could never find the voice to speak to him. She had so many questions to ask him. So many.

The house was empty, but relatively neat. Mui Soh hated untidiness since she was young. Her late husband loved her dearly for keeping the house neat and clean at all times. She was a good housewife. She always thought herself as that. However, when it came to parenting, she felt she was a total failure.

Her first son, Albert, was still serving his jail term of forty years for manslaughtering and illegal booking. Mui Soh was determined that he would not be able to send her off her final journey when the time comes. Her second son, Edward, on the other hand, made it to the an overseas university using his mother's lifetime savings, and made it big in Singapore and England. He is now a successful businessman living in the city area of Singapore with his wife of twelve years and his eight year old daughter.

However, Mui Soh stopped meeting Edward for almost ten years. She did not even get to see her grandchild. It was all because of his wife who detested her. Before they got married, his wife was kind to Mui Soh. Mui Soh thought that maybe, she could finally rely on her child for some lifetime support, but, shortly after two years of their marriage, his wife stopped her husband from visiting the old woman completely.

Her son had offered to return the study loan he owed her before he bidded his final goodbye, but Mui Soh was too upset, back then, to accept any form of compensation.

Then came her third child, her daughter, Helen. Helen was the child Mui Soh was most worried about. At the tender age of sixteen, she gave birth to her first son, Ming. She then married the father of Ming who was barely nineteen. Now, at the age of twenty two, Helen is already a mother of four children. She divorced Ming at eighteen and got married again to a man ten years her senior and gave birth to the other three children. She now works at her husband's chicken rice stall near Eunos and occupies her time taking care of the household. Mui Soh only saw her daughter once a year and she never brings in any money.

Mui Soh ate her lunch quietly as the birds chirped outside the window of her kitchen. She was thankful for a nice house even though she was using the depreciating savings her husband left her to pay for the utilities bill. Her late sister used to encourage her to rent a room out to some China ladies who will pay a few hundred dollars every month, but Mui Soh found it hard to trust anyone else. She felt more at ease if she lived alone.

After lunch, Mui Soh briefly sweeped the floor and cleaned off the dust on top of the television set. She did that everyday, and so, the house was never too dirty. Besides, the only appliance she owned at home was only an old television set her late sister bought for her. She spent only evenings to watch the Channel Eight drama being aired at nine daily.

The only indulgence Mui Soh allowed herself to have was smoking. She often limit herself to two cigerettes each day because cigerettes were getting too expensive. She depended on her husband's and sister's savings to last her till she breathed her last.

After cleaning up the place, she sat down infront of her gate and looked outside the corridor. She could see an aeroplane flying into the clouds. Thankful for the filling lunch, she lit her cigerette and inhaled deeply.

For awhile, she felt like she did not mind living after all.

******************************

"Xinhui! Today's Mother's Day! We're going to give the flowers to mommy later when she comes into the car okay?" Edward whispered with excitement as he handed a stalk of rose to his eight year old daughter, sitting behind at the backseat.

Xinhui held the rose with a wide grin. "Then, I will show her my card!"

They waited for a short moment before Edward spotted his wife walking towards his car from her office opposite the road. His wife, Ivy, was still as beautiful as she was when he first met her. He remembered instinctively how much he was attracted to her when they were back at England. She was one of the most beautiful Asian girl in their faculty back then.

When Ivy hopped into the car, Edward and Xinhui shouted in unison, "HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!"

Ivy let out a surprised smile and took the flowers and the card with emotions. "Thank you darlings." She said, pleased. She bent over and gave her husband a kiss on the cheek and reached back and gave her daughter another kiss on the nose. "You guys are the best things that ever happen to me."

Xinhui giggled. "Mommy! See the card! You like it?" She asked in a her kid-like voice.

Ivy nodded with a wide smile. "Yes, darling. Thank you. It's beautiful. Did you draw these flowers yourself?" She asked, pointing to the flowers drawn on the front of the card.

Her daughter nodded happily.

Edward drove away from the parking lot with a wide smile on his face. He loves his family. They meant everything to him. He would do everything he needed to make his two princesses the happiest women on earth. Just a couple of days ago, he bought Xinhui a brand new violin just because she wanted it.

"Where do we go for dinner?" Edward asked, stopping behind a car during a red traffic.

Ivy smiled and asked her daughter for an opinion.

"Pastamania! I want to eat pasta and pizza!" Xinhui voiced out excitedly from the back.

Ivy looked at her husband and gave him an all-knowing smile and nod.

"Alright! Whatever my little princess says!" Edward agreed as he stepped on the accelerator gently.

They remained quiet for awhile as they drove down the Expressway. The radio station was announcing and talking about the significance of this special date for mothers. Just before they played "MAMA" by Spice Girls, Xinhui suddenly broke the silence.

"Daddy, where is your mother? It's Mother's Day. Don't you have to give flowers to your own mother?"

Edward remained quiet, and Ivy gave her husband a quick glance before looking out of her side window.

"Daddy?" Xinhui probed.

Edward looked at his wife. Finally, for the first time in ten years, he mustered his courage to ask his wife for this request. "Dear, can we drop by Ma's place for awhile? It's Mother's Day."

Ivy dropped the envelopes she was holding onto her laps and turned to her husband. "I think I made this very clear right from the start right? Your Ma and I don't click. If we visit her once, she'll expect us to come twice, thrice, then by the time you know it, you'll be frequenting her place more than you think."

"But, it's been ten years, Ivy." Edward reasoned, his lips forming into a thin line. "Besides, Ma is so old now. What if something happens to her?"

Ivy faced the front with a straight face and went back to her letters. "No. Why are you worrying? We've already given our contact details to her neighbour right? If anything happens, she'll contact us." She insisted stubbornly and opened another letter. "Don't come and bother me with these small issues okay? I've got bigger things to handle. Like, this letter, that will require me to handle carefully."

Edward made a sharp turn to the left and all the letters fell from Ivy's laps. She threw her husband an angry glare, but kept quiet and picked the envelopes up.

***********************************

"Ming ah! Come and help me!" Helen shouted at the top of her voice as she struggled to stop her toddler from crying and at the same time, take orders from customers.

It was dinner time and the hawker centre was bustling with people. Her husband's chicken rice stall had been there for years, left behind by his father, hence, explained the steady number of patrons daily.

Ming, almost nine, stopped playing with his friend and ran over to his mother's side.

Helen frowned at her son. "Where you go!? Always play, play, play! Here so busy still play!" She lectured as she passed two plates of chicken rice to the boy who took them steadily. "Table twenty! Six dollars ah!"

Ming did as he was told and brought six dollars back to his mother. Helen passed him another tray of food and ordered him to make another trip to table fifty, and to bring fifteen dollars back.

"Ah Seng, can I bring the children up first? Qinqin is hungry. I must go and make milk for her." Helen asked her husband who mercilessly chopped a whole roast chicken into two.

Wong Kai Seng, not looking up from the chicken, muttered. "Later. Now too many people."

"But, Qinqin is hungry! Weiwei and Shanshan also need me to feed later! Ah Ming also haven't eat dinner. Can I give them some rice first?" Helen persuaded, but was interrupted when a teenage boy came up and ordered two packets of roasted chicken rice.

"Six dollars," Helen said in Mandarin as she collected the money before she started wrapping up the two packets of rice for him.

When the boy left, Helen rocked her daughter gently who was tied to her using an old piece of sarong as support. "Can?" She asked, hearing her daughter's sobbings subside into soft hiccups.

Her husband signaled her to go and she happily took off her apron. "I'll come down after I put these children to sleep." She assured happily as she unlocked the baby pram. They had been sitting on a pram the entire evening, playing with the same toys over and over again. Weiwei was only four years old, wheras Shanshan was barely three. Their daughter, Qinqin just turned one a few days back.

"Ah Ming! You come! You sit here and eat your dinner first! I go home and cook for your brother and sisters okay? You help Pa ah!" Helen ordered when her son came back with the money and the empty tray.

"But, I want to eat with them." Ming retorted quietly.

Helen hit Ming at the back of his head. "You go, then who help your father?! So big already still need me to hit you! Not shame ah!" She shouted and started to push the pram towards the direction to their house.

Ming sulked and took the plate of chicken rice his stepfather had prepared for him. His stepfather was alright, it was the chicken rice he hated. He had been eating chicken rice everyday, he was starting to get tired of it. Only at school, he was allowed to eat whatever he wanted with his two dollars allowance.

Meanwhile, Helen made her way home. She smelt of grease from head to toe. Her hair was oily and sticky. No matter how she washes them off, the smell will always linger around. Her poor daughter had to be stuck with her in the hot and stuffy stall the entire day. No wonder she cried for hours! Not only was she tired and hungry, she was also hot and disturbed by the environment. However, there was no other choice. She had to bring the children with her wherever she goes. They are her responsibilities.

She arrived home shortly and entered the empty, messy house. She had tried to put in effort to clean up the place every night, like how her mother used to do, but, she was starting to find that this chore was almost impossible. Having four children in the house was bad enough. Not to mention not having any time to do anything else besides tending the stall with her husband and taking care of her children. At the end of the day when she finally takes a rest, it was already close to one in the morning.

Gently, she placed Qinqin down onto the sofa. She had fallen asleep, finally. Helen swayed her hips from left to right several times to loosen the muscles around the area where she carried her daughter for long hours.

She unfastened the safety belts for her two other toddlers and allowed them to run around in the house, since she had deprived them from doing so for the past four hours or so.

Quickly, she made her way to the kitchen and started to cook porridge. She had been an excellent cook, all thanks to her mother. Her mother used to make delicious porridge when she, or any of her brothers were ill. She always made sure she got her hands onto the best scallops before setting them into the brewing pot of chicken or pork porridge.

Just as she waited for the porridge to boil, she went into the living room and turned on the television. She sat beside Qinqin and rested her feet. She had been standing all day and her legs were starting to give in. Although she had been helping her husband for years, she still could not come to terms with her legs.

"Weiwei ah! Stop running ah! You fall down, you see!" She lectured softly at her running son as he ran past her and nearly trip over a toy.

"... Today is Mother's Day! Did you do anything for your mother today?" Quan Yifeng, Singapore's one of the best television host asked a passerby on television.

Helen watched the short interview and suddenly, she remembered her own mother. For years, her mother had been alone. Her useless brothers could not take care of her, but, she realised she could not too. Ah Seng refused to give her any extra allowance and he was the one controlling this family's financial issues. There were times when Helen asked for money to buy some tonics for her aging mother, but was scolded severely by her husband who found that tonics used on old people are a waste. She stopped asking since then.

Tears filled her eyes as Quan Yifeng continued to discuss about filial piety.

******************************************

That night, Mui Soh woke up to find her late husband sitting on the exact spot she always found him in when she was dreaming. He was sitting on the old rattan chair and smiling at her. He looked at peace, like how he always did.

Mui Soh sat up and smiled at her husband. He was dressed smartly in his favourite white button shirt and black pants. Surprisingly, unlike her dreams, she could see her late husband clearly under the strong sunlight.

"Ah Mui. Thanks for taking care of my house for so many years." Her husband spoke in Teochew, the way Mui Soh remembered how he sounded.

Strangely, he never spoke in her dreams.

Mui Soh smiled. "It's my duty. I've done my best, but I'm sorry, I didn't bring up our children well." She said apologeticly.

Her husband stood up from the rattan chair and held out his hand. "Come. Follow me."

Mui Soh took his hand without any hesitation and got off the bed. She was still looking into the deep pair of eyes who used to attract her when she was barely seventeen.

Together, they walked into a tunnel of light, where there only happiness prevails.

Sugar Daddy

2008-05-31T16:02:00.003+08:00

It was a Saturday night. A young girl, probably about twenty four to twenty five years old, was grooving at the dance floor with sexy moves, enjoying the attention she was attracting.

What the crowd did not know was that she had been doing this for the last consecutive two weeks. Her feet often ached after a night of dancing in her pair of killer stilletos. This was not an easy job.

The Dee-jay changed into another sexy number and Hailey Wong walked out of the dance floor, gently dapping away little droplets of persperation off her forehead. Her face was flushing pink as she made her way to the Ladies. Looking good at all times was essential for her job.

Hailey looked into the full length mirror in the Ladies and admired her voluptuous figure. She had specially picked this dress from Guess last Thursday. She loved the sexy black cutting that revealed a generous amount of chest and thighs. Her heels, an import from Salvatore Ferragamo. She shifted her body slightly to the right and admired the side of her calves. Her legs were long and well toned. Hailey flipped her hair back sexily and touched up on her bright red lips.

She went back to the dancefloor shortly and continued swaying sexily amongst drunk men and young guys. Several young men came up to her and offered to buy her drinks. However, she rejected their offers because they were not what she was looking for.

It was until ten minutes later, when she found a potential prey. He looked fifty, sitting by the bar, enjoying a glass of beer. The best thing was, he was alone. She looked at him from head to toe and surveyed his movements. Leather shoes and white business suit. She looked closely and could immediately figure out that it was an expensive suit.

Hailey has a habit. She always makes sure her target is the one she is looking for before committing herself into a new affair. That way, she will not get any unnecessary trouble later on.

"Can you buy me a drink?" She asked, slipping herself onto a stool beside the balding man.

He looked at her for a moment and continued drinking his beer.

Hailey smiled and looked at the bartender, "Mark, give me a Lychee Martini."

The bartender smiled and gave her a thumb up sign before proceeding into mixing the drink.

"So, what are you doing here alone on a Saturday night?" She asked, and spotted his wedding ring. "You should be with your wife."

The man ignored her and continued to take a big gulp of his beer. Mark placed the glass of martini infront of Hailey and Hailey flashed him a sexy smile. How sad, she thought, if only Mark was rich, she would definitely date him.

Hailey sighed as she took a sip of her martini, "life's hard, isn't it? Had a tiff with your wife?" She asked.

Again, the man showed her no interest.

"Come on, surely we can talk? I won't eat you up. Besides, I'm not that ugly right?" She asked in her sweetest voice.

"I'm not in the mood." He replied coarsely, signaling Mark to give him another glass.

Hailey touched his knuckles gently. "Oh, care to tell me more about it?" She asked, glad that he did not withdraw from her touch.

"I don't know. Don't want to talk about it. If you want to drink, you stay here quietly. Otherwise, just go." The man said when his beer arrived.

Hailey was fine with it. It definitely beats having to dance all night. Besides, all she had to do was to get him in bed.

********************************

The next morning, George woke up with a splitting headache. It took him a good whole minute to realise he was not at home. He felt the sheets and pillow. This is not my pillow, he thought and sat up.

He almost fell off the bed when he saw a beautiful young lady sleeping beside him, her hair spreading across the white pillow. She still had her make-up on and was naked.

George stumbled out of bed and went into the bathroom. He splashed his face with cool tap water and stared into the mirror. What happened? He thought. Who is she? He asked himself again.

Short images flashed past quickly. He drank with a lady, whose name he had conveniently forgotten, then, she helped him out of the club, and brought him to a hotel. He splashed more water onto his face when what happened after that became clear to him.

Never in his life, have he ever thought of betraying his wife. Now, he did it.

A pair of arms embraced his waist unexpectedly, interrupting his thoughts.

George jumped.

"Good morning, George."

It was a lady's voice. Immediately, he remembered the exact same voice who spoke to him at the club yesterday.

George untangled her arms from his buldging belly and walked out of the bathroom.

"Here's two hundred. I've paid for the room, I believe. Take it and go." He instructed as he took out two hundred dollars cash from his wallet and threw it on the bed.

The girl, still naked, walked up to him and smiled coyly. "If, I only wanted two hundred dollars, I wouldn't have stayed till now. I would have robbed you last night." She said and sat on the bed.

The girl watched in amusement as George struggled to put on his suit clumsily. She smiled and went up to him. Gently, she helped to button up the white shirt. George rubbed his temples and made no signs of rejecting her offer.

"Stay with me. I'll make you happy. You know that, right?" She asked, buttoning the top button. "Last night, you had fun. So did I. We share an affirnity." She continued softly, buttoning the second button. "I know you're married, but it doesn't matter right? We're all out to have fun. I promise to keep our affair a secret one." She went on, proceeding to button the third button. "I'm sure, I'm fresher than your wife, right?"

George groaned as the splitting headache came back. He rubbed his head and fell onto the chair.

The sultry lady smiled and touched his manhood. "I'll make you feel better, I promise." She muttered and George knew he could no longer reject her.

**************************************

"Spend one whole night outside, happy right?" Susan, George's wife of thirty years said sarcastically when her husband opened the front door of their beautiful condominium.

He had made sure his shirt was not out of place and no stain of Hailey were to be found. He checked the common places like his collar and neck. Safe. Hailey was a pro indeed.

Susan had been preparing lunch. He could smell his favourite stewed pork belly from the door.

"Cooking lunch? What's there to eat?" George asked, throwing his suitcase onto the white sofa.

His wife crossed her legs neatly, still seated on a single sofa. She may be fifty two, but she still maintained the posture of a tai-tai. She does her manicure monthly and always made sure she maintained a certain weight. However, her culinary skills were marvellous. George could never stay away from her stews.

"Whole night never come home, come home first thing you ask is, "What's there to eat?" So much for being concerned for your wife." She commented, placing her brightly manicured fingers on her upper thigh. "Where did you go? Quarrel abit only, you run out. Smart already right? Married for so many years, finally got guts to walk out on me." She questioned, her voice maintained a calm and relaxed tone.

George loosened up his tie and fell back on the sofa. He was exhausted, not to mention having sex again in the morning when he was having a terrible hangover.

"I have no time to quarrel with you okay. After lunch, I still have to go back to office. There are alot of things waiting for me to sign. Just go and prepare my food." He ordered and stood up, "I'll go for my shower first. When I come out, I want my food ready." He said and made his way to his bedroom.

Susan took a deep breath and stood up. Trying her best to keep her cool, she clenched her fist and forced a smile. "Sure. I'll do just that." She obliged softly and gritted her teeth as she watched her husband slammed the door behind him.

All these years, she had been treated like a dog. That was what George made her feel all the time, anyway. All he bothered was his business and their children, Cindy, Warren and Raymond.

Their oldest daughter got married two years back and stayed with her family over at England. Warren, this year twenty six, was also married to an air stewardess. He was a cabin crew. As for their last son, Raymond, was twenty four, and still studying in a local university. He hardly came home because he lived in the hostel with his bunch of friends. His mother had been very displeased with that decision he made. She only came to terms with it after the first year of impressive results.

Susan walked into the kitchen and lifted the lid of her pot. The pork belly was stewing just well and the smell filled the entire kitchen. She had specially went to the market this morning to prepare this meal for her husband after a terrible fight they had last night, and yet, not only did he come home unhappily, he was also cold towards her. Susan sighed and gave her stew a little stir before putting back the lid.

The rice was cooking. Susan took out some vegetables and started washing them. George hated a meal without vegetables. To him, it would seem like an incomplete meal. Susan took note of his likings and dislikes over the years and tried to be a good wife. Yet, his feelings towards her seemed to fade off as the years went by. Especially after Raymond started staying out. They seemed to have lost a common topic to talk about.

Susan was not very tall. She stood at one hundred and fifty five centimetres tall. George was alot taller than his wife. Almost a head. Before they were married, George loved her height. In fact, he loved everything about her. They courted for two years before getting hitched. Susan loved him very much. She may say mean things once in awhile during a fight, but she knew she never meant any of them.

However, after they got married, George started complaining about her height when Cindy stopped growing at one hundred and fifty seven centimetres. It was the genes, he said. He stopped complaining only after he confirmed that his two sons' heights took after him.

George came out of the room and sat by the dining table. He was top naked and only dressed in a black shorts. He took today's newspaper and started flipping through them. He had kept very quiet.

Susan felt her husband was very different. Normally, after a fight, he would always try to make things a little better so that they could have a peaceful night after that, but today, he was too silent.

She stir fried the vegetables and brought it out to the dining area. "I'll take the rice." She said and went back into the kitchen.

George placed the newspaper aside and looked at his wife from head to toe from where he sat. She can be too skinny for her age, but she still had a firm bottom. However, when it came to her upper part of her body, he cringed. How could any woman be so flat chested? He must be blind to marry her thirty years back, although she made a good wife. She simply failed in the looks department. Compared to Hailey, she was far behind.

George slapped himself lightly and muttered, "why am I thinking of her again!"

Susan stepped out with two plates of steaming rice. "What? Thinking of who?" She asked suspiciously.

"Oh. Nothing. My mother. She has been dead for five years. So fast." George quickly shifted the topic and was glad that his wife was convinced.

"Yah. Life very short. Your Ma also passed away so many years already." Susan said and went back into the kitchen to dish out the pot of her husband's favourite pork belly stew.

*********************************

That night, George sat on his bed as his wife buttoned up his pyjamas' top for him. Suddenly, he felt a pinch of guilt. How could he have betrayed his wife? She may be irritating and not as sexy as Hailey, but she truly loved him and bore him three wonderful children.

"What are you thinking?" She asked, finishing the last button before she got up. "You've not been yourself the whole day." She continued, climbing up on the bed.

George shook his head and shifted his lower body up to the bed. "No. Nothing."He replied.

Susan smiled and arranged the blanket neatly over her husband's legs. "Yah. Everytime I ask you what are you thinking, you always tell me nothing. Thirty years already, you still never change. So secretive ah?" She teased.

George smiled, "cannot ah? Sleep lah." He said and lay down.

Susan laid beside her husband and switched off the bedside lamp. She was contented to have her husband back.

Just then, George's handphone beeped.

The both of them sat up and Susan switched on the bedside lamp again. "Who is that?" She asked. "So late already."

Her husband took the handphone and immediately got out of bed when he saw the sender's name.

"I go make a phone call. You sleep first lah," He said, trying to keep his voice from shaking. He went out of the bedroom and read the message.

Sender: Hailey
Time: 10.45PM
Date: 1/6/2008

Hi baby. i keep thinking of u. Will u come over n find me now? I'm at home. I've got a special treat for u. u wun wanna miss it!

luv,
haileyyyy

George frozed on the spot. If she continued to sms him so often and randomly at night, Susan will bound to find out. He realised he just placed himself in a very dangerous position whereby he could not shake this girl off.

Just as he was worrying, his phone rang.

"Hello?" He said in a whisper.

"Hey baby. You read my SMS?" The other end asked, breaking out into a short giggle.

George rubbed his temple. "Will you please, stop calling me? I thought it was over."

The girl stopped her laughter abruptly. "It's not over, Mr Wang. Do you think it was just a pure night of fun? Don't forget, you were just asking for more this morning." She said, her voice in a more serious tone. "Besides, you won't want to anger me, baby. You wouldn't want your wife to know about us."

Wife?

George fell against the wall behind him. "What? What are you talking about? She wouldn't find out anything right?"

Hailey laughed mercilessly. "That's why I say, old uncles easiest to cheat. I had everything recorded down. All our raunchy sex positions too, baby. Do you want to watch it?"

George moaned in despair. "What is it you want?" He finally asked, realising that perhaps, money can solve this problem among themselves amiciably.

"I want you to be my sugar daddy. Can? Of course, I'll give you anything you want in return. But, you have to pay for my expenses and get me gifts. How about that? It's totally worth it if you think about it." Hailey explained.

"No. I don't want anything to do with you anymore. Can we settle with a sum of money? I don't want to have anything to do with you."

Hailey laughed. "The game starts with me, and it shall end with me. Only what I say count. Get it Mr Wang? I'll see you tomorrow morning at your office lobby. Nine." She said and hung up the phone.

"No-" George was about to stop her from continuing when she hung up the phone abruptly.

He threw his handphone onto the sofa and sat on it. How could he have allowed himself to make such a mistake? How could he have slept with a girl old enough to be his daughter? Worst of all, how could he betray his wife in a moment of spur?

He hated himself instantly. Susan must never find out. If she does, a divorce is going to be inevitable.

*******************************

George drove down to his office in his BMW and was not surprised to receive a phonecall from Hailey.

"What?" He asked impatiently, tugging at his earpiece as he made a sharp turn.

"Good morning baby. Had a nice sleep? I am outside your office building now. How long more are you taking?" Hailey's bright and cheery voice asked. She sounded totally different fro mthe menacing tone she used last night.

"Can you wait at the MacDonald's opposite? I don't want any colleages of mine to see you." Georg asked.

The girl giggled. "I'm waiting right here. Don't tell me where to meet you." With that, she hung up the phone.

"Fuck you!" George shouted and threw the earpiece onto the passenger seat beside him. He pulled the brake towards a side curb and rested his head against the steering wheel. What kind of trouble have he got himself into?

How could he have allowed himself to make such a mistake?

Just then, his handphone rang again. He picked it up, thinking it was that vixen.

"What is it?" He asked, his voice almost in a groan.

"Hello? George ah!"

It was Susan.

"You forgot your briefcase and herbal tea! I'm now reaching your office! You reach already tell me. I wait for you in your office okay?"

George lifted his head up in horror.

"You what?" He asked.

Susan laughed. "I'm on my way to find you lah, silly old man! Why you sound so shocked? And you drive very slow leh. I left house later than you, I also reaching soon already."

"Susan, um, I tell you, you wait for me at the MacDonald's opposite my office. Don't go to my office okay? Not too convenient. You know lah, Scott." George was referring to his American boss. Susan knew how much Scott looked down on her husband.

"Oh. Okay lor. I wait for you at MacDonald's." She agreed and hung up the phone.

George stepped on the accelerator and sped off. What a day! How could he have forgotten to bring his briefcase?! That sort of situation was almost impossible.

**************************************

MacDonald's was packed with office ladies and workers, queuing at the counters, most of them ordering the take-away $2 sausage mcmuffin and coffee. George never liked fast-food.

He saw his wife sitting at the side of the glass panels and moved over, muttering "excuse me" to the people at the queue. His wife apparently came in what she wore this morning, a flower printed white loose bloouse, and white tights.

"George!" She called and signaled him to come over.

Her husband sat at the round stool opposite his wife and wiped off his persperation.

"Wah! You ran a marathon ah! Why you sweat until like that?!" Susan asked, offering him her cup of iced milo.

George smiled nervously. "No lah. Very hot, that's all. My car park near my office carpark, so must walk very far."

Susan giggled like a schoolgirl. "You very silly leh! The carpark is only across the street. How far can it be?" She asked.

George gave another smile and took the briefcase.

"Thanks dear." He said and stood up hurriedly, "Scott is waiting for me. I'll see you at home tonight." He said and rushed off quickly.

"Hey!" Susan called after him, hoping that perhaps she could wish him a proper goodbye, but her husband seemed to be in such a great hurry. She smiled to herself as she took a sip of her drink. It has been a long time since her husband addressed her as "dear".

She was about to stand up to leave MacDonald's when she realised the red plastic bag beside her.

"Aiyoh! Herbal tea! How can I forget?" She scolded herself gently and brought the bottle of herbal tea she brewed this morning across the street for her husband.

******************************

Meanwhile, Hailey sat crosslegged on a black sofa at the lobby of George's office. She was impressed with the building George was working at. Many foreign office workers breezed past her, mostly Caucasians. She had a few affairs with a couple of Caucasians, but realised that Asian men are more effectionate as compared to Westerners. Besides, Asian men treat human values more seriously.

Not that she cared about human values, but Asian men are more afraid to let their wives know about their affairs, as compared to Caucasians.

Some men walked past her and took a quick glance at her. That was not new to Hailey. She wore a red tight dress that revealed her long slender legs and bright red high heels. She allowed her hair to flow freely down her breasts. Men threw her lustful glances, whereas women threw her glances of disgust.

Just then, George ran into the lobby panting. His white shirt was stained with persperation thoroughly from the front. She smiled at the breathless man and gave him a coy wave of hello.

He went up to her and grabbed her arm. She winced in pain as he dragged her to the fire exit beside the lift.

"Let go of me!" She wailed as he pushed the door open.

George threw the girl against the wall and leaned against the wall beside hers.

"Do you want to do it here?" Hailey asked with a sultry smile. She inched herself close to the man and touched his chest. "I didn't know you like it in the public."

George pushed her away. "That's enough. I'm here to tell you that we're over and I'm willing to pay any amount of money to get you to delete or give me the sex videos you took of us. I hope you'll oblige."

Hailey laughed mercilessly. "I told you, only I have the say in this gme. Which part of this sentence do you NOT understand?" She asked, pushing her fringe off her face. "Besides, if you agree to my conditions, you'll benefit too. Both of us will benefit." She whispered and inched closer to him.

George pushed her away again. Her perfume was intoxicating, but he felt himself reacting towards her advances. Why is she so irresistable?

"I'll keep everything a secret. I don't need alot of money monthly. Just three thousand per month and my bills, you settle. That's all. With that, you can do anything you want with me." She teased, licking his chin. "George, let's make this work out."

George grabbed the girl and kissed her fiercely. Hailey was smiling. All thanks to her sexy look, no men could resist her charm. For once, she loved the way he gave in to her pleas. She
could be sure, then, that she got herself this deal.

As George proceeded to lift Hailey's dress, the Exit door flung opened. He turned around quickly and saw Susan standing by the doorway, with the bottle of herbal tea in her left hand. Her eyes were filled with tears of anger and betrayal. For awhile, George regained his posture and felt embarrassed facing his wife with his zipper down.

He quickly zipped up his pants and started, "Susan..."

Susan threw the bottle of herbal tea at him and ran off. It was the last George ever saw of his wife.

When he got home that night, his wife had packed up and left. To where, he was not sure. All he knew was, she was never coming home. She did not even inform her children of her whearabouts. She simply disappeared from the face of this earth.

She did not even leave a letter.

Two months later, a "DEED OF SEPERATION" was sent to him, with Susan's signature on it.

**********************************

Hailey danced to the techno music as she closed her eyes and remembered how George left her and she could no longer blackmail him after his wife found out. It was never her intention to let her wife find out anything about them. In fact, the longer she could get hold of the man, the more benefits she was going to get. She had never fared so badly like this.

Tonight, she will get someone better. Except this time, she would be very careful. Very, extremely careful.

When Gods No Longer Listen

2008-05-26T21:24:00.005+08:00

There was a period in Lee Boon Keat's life where he hated the words, "thank you, I will call you back."

That was when he was busy running around Singapore, trying to find a job that pays reasonably, has fixed working hours, and that he was familiar with.

He had been working with a logistics company for twenty five years. Sadly, during a recession, he was given "early retirement" with a sum of money as compensation. However, the money did not last long. Shortly after three years, the money depreciated. That was when, he decided not to sit around anymore, and find a proper job to generate a new source of income.

His wife have been working since she was twenty. Thankfully, she is still in the same company after almost thirty years. The company looked up to her in terms of seniority and decided to let her stay after a salary negotiation five years ago. You see, Mrs Lee had been nearly fired as well, due to the outsource of manpower. Due to that, Mrs Lee decided to negotiate with the board to let her stay for a few years longer, in the expense of a decrease in her salary.

Their youngest daughter, Vanessa, was also recently diagnosed with second stage of liver cancer. It was taking a toll on the family, especially when the medical expenses were excruciatingly high. Mr and Mrs Lee were very upset over their twenty year old daughter's plight. Never in their wildest dreams did they expect their young daughter to be sick.

They pray everyday for their youngest daughter to recover completely and for their eldest son to find a proper job and stay on it. Their son have just completed his National Service. Holding only onto his O level certificate, he did many odd jobs over the years, but could not stay longer than a year in each.

"So how is your daughter? Okay already?" Ah Teck, Boon Keat's buddy for thirty years asked with concern as they sat at a coffeeshop near their house.

On Friday nights, Boon Keat will be at the coffeeshop with a couple of his best buddies to enjoy a couple of beer and to chit chat about social issues.

The balding man shook his head and took a large gulp of his beer. "Going through chemotherapy now. Still have ten sessions to go. Poor girl, keep vomiting everyday. I don't know what to do. Somemore each time not cheap you know! They give her a jab before her chemotherapy and it costs almost three thousand dollars ok!"

Ah Seng, another buddy of Boon Keat chipped in, "It's okay! She will get well! Furthermore, she's so young! The chances of she recovering is 100%! Confirm!"

Boon Keat was not sure about that. He no longer had the energy to think about other issues besides money. Money, to him, was the most important thing he needed to solve all his family problems.

"How about your son? Now still no job?" Ah Seng asked, shaking his leg under the table. "My daughter now start work already. At this Tan Tock Seng Hospital. Not bad, earning about two thousand a month. Maybe they have positions for your son to try out. I'll ask her." He offered, inhaling the cigarette deeply.

Boon Keat sighed. "That boy! Don't talk about him! Everyday stay at home play his stupid computer game! I don't know what he is going to do with his life! He wants to rot, I don't mind let him rot, but now, we need money! I can't afford to let him rot anymore!" He grumbled and looked at his friend. "Can or not? Tell your Tanya to help."

Ah Seng sympathised his friend's situation and agreed to ask Tanya for help.

However, Boon Keat knows deep down that his friend was simply offering out of goodwill to help. If he had been truly sincere, his son would not have been jobless for a good eight months.

******************************

That night, Mrs Lee could not sleep. Her daughter had been tossing and turning on the mattress on the floor. She woke up a few times to take her daughter's temperature. If there should be any signs of fever, she must be sent to the hospital immediately.

Her husband snored loudly beside her in the dark. Mrs Lee's tears fell from the corners of her eyes as she turned her back towards her husband who reeked the smell of alcohol. She prayed every day to the Goddess of Guan Yin, but why nothing seemed to improve at all? Her family had so many problems, she could hardly breathe.

"Ma..." Vanessa's voice called out softly. She must have felt the bed moving a little when her mother shifted her body.

Mrs Lee sat up and moved herself to her daughter who was lying wide awake.

"Yes?" She whispered, soothing her daughter's long hair.

Vanessa's frail frame hugged her mother tightly. It felt like she was using all her strength because she seemed so weak. Mrs Lee was pretty amazed at how much strength her daughter possessed still.

"Ma, am I causing alot of troubles for you and pa?" She asked, her voice tingling with sadness.

"No," her mother choked back her tears, "no, ah girl. Don't say that. Pa and Ma will do all we can to help you." She continued, putting her daughter's head underneath her chin so that she could not watch the tears falling down her face.

Tears fell faster as she recalled what Vanessa's doctor told her this afternoon during her second chemotherapy session.

"She is going to lose her hair. That, you must be prepared," Doctor Ho said in a hush. "She is also going to get weaker, and skinnier. Normally, we'll give something to stop her vomitting but it depends whether her body accepts this medication well or not. Otherwise, she might still vomit even after I give her that dosage of medication." She explained.

"Then, will she be cured 100% after her chemotherapy?" Mrs Lee asked, holding the doctor's freezing hands, "please doctor! Please make her okay! She is only twenty! She still have one whole life ahead of her!" She pleaded in tears.

The doctor patted the hand and replied in a quiet voice, "I cannot promise you anything now, Mrs Lee. Wait till Vanessa finishes her chemotherapy, then we talk about it okay? For now, give her all the support she needs. Don't ever give up."

Poor daughter, she is going to lose her hair! Mrs Lee thought to herself and sobbed harder. Worst still, when she recalled how her father passed away due to liver cancer as well, she shook in fear. What if, Vanessa, like her grandfather, could not make it?

Vanessa held her mother's waist and snuggled close even though the weather was humid. "Ma, don't worry. I'll get well." She said in a little brave voice.

Mrs Lee cried loudly. She could no longer hold back her tears.

That night, Mr Lee's snores and Mrs Lee sobs could be heard all through the night.

**********************************

The next morning, after breakfast, Boon Keat went to a furniture shop opposite his house in hope to find a job. He had walked past the shop a couple of days back and saw a piece of note sticking outside the shop saying "FULL-TIME ASSISTANT REQUIRED". He bought a couple of furnitures from the shop before, so, he was quite familiar with the boss and place.

"Good morning, Ah Keat! How are you?" The boss, Lim Lai Huat welcomed him loudly from the front counter. He stepped out of the counter and went over to his ex-client, neighbourhood friend. "Coming to buy furnitures huh?" He asked in a bright voice.

Boon Keat smiled and wiped the glistening sweat off his balding head, "no, no. I'm here actually to talk to you about something."

The overweight boss laughed, "sure, sure! Come! Sit here! Got fan!" He invited and placed a stool under a ceiling fan for Boon Keat to relax on.

Boon Keat sat down and felt better. Sometimes, he cursed the weather for being too hot, however, his wife always lecture him for cursing the Gods.

Lai Huat stirred a cup of black coffee for Boon Keat and brought it over to him, "drink coffee." He offered and handed the blue tin cup to Mr. Lee.

Mr Lee took it with gratitude. They sat down and enjoyed the coffee for awhile before Boon Keat started a conversation. "So, Ah Mun not working here anymore? Why you alone today?" He asked, putting the tin cup down.

Lai Huat, in his white polo t-shirt grunted. "Don't talk about that boy! Very lazy! That other day, still can bring girlfriend come! He thought I was not coming back early, come here hanky panky! But I came back and saw them!" He complained, feeling angry again. "That girl almost going to take off her shirt already! What he think my place is? Hotel huh!" He shouted loudly, taking out his pack of cigerettes. "You smoke?" He asked, offering a cigerette to Boon Keat.

Boon Keat rejected politely, "I quitted."

Lai Huat withdrew his offer and placed the cigerette in between his lips. "Quit better. Look at me, smoke for thirty years still cannot quit. Hopeless already." He muffled as he lit his cigerette. "Very stressful nowadays. Run this shop myself, and nobody want to work for me because nowadays, young people want to work in aircon, high class place! Who will be so stupid to work here? No air con, place so old, and got such a mean boss!" He joked and laughed.

Boon Keat followed suit and shook his head, "no lah. You're not mean. I heard from Ah Mun you gave him bonus last year! Nowadays, bosses very seldom give good bonuses already. Singapore nowadays so expensive, but all the salaries also never rise. How to survive like that?" He lamented.

Lai Huat inhaled the cigerette deeply and rubbed his bulging stomach, "yah lah! This government, I really don't understand. This rise, that rise! Salary, no change! I try my best to give my workers what I can! If times are bad, I also cannot help it right?" He reasoned.

Boon Keat nodded in agreement. Speaking about the way the government works will never bring him to the main topic of being employed. Hence, he decided to stop the conversation about what the government did and concentrate on his initial intention for this visit.

"Huat ah," Boon Keat started, rubbing his bald head. "I have a request to ask from you. I wonder if you will allow." He started, looking around awkwardly.

The fat man laughed heartily as he pressed the cigerette out on a ashtray. "What? Just say!"

"Um. Since Ah Mun not working for you already, how about employing me?" He started, and paused, "you know lah, I've been jobless for four years! I kept finding and finding, but all they tell me is "we'll call you later", then, not a word from them! Some told me I'm too old for the job, but they never state on the newspaper they are looking for people below 35 what!"

Lai Huat looked at the fifty five year old man and lit another cigerette. "You know what I want my assistant to do or not? He have to carry heavy things, deliver heavy furnitures, climb up and down the ladder to fix nails, all that you know. For your age, not wise lah." He stated matter-of-factly.

Boon Keat was quick to argue. "Why? You doubt my strength is it? I can show you! I can carry a sofa all by myself! I can also lift a bed! My daughter nowadays sick, I moved my own king sized bed to the side of the room for her to sleep on the floor! I'm very strong you know! I'm also very good at fixing things! Nailing, hammering, painting, all of these I can do too! You cannot trust young people nowadays, they're too rash!" He explained and paused for half a second. "You see that Ah Mun you know already! No sense of responsibilities! Sometimes, we old men are more responsible then those young men!"

Lai Huat sat quietly, all the while listening to what Boon Keat had to say. In his mind, he was full of doubts. He knew that this man had been working as an office boy for twenty odd years, and he totally had no experience in this line, but, could he trust him? As a friend, yes. However, in terms of health, he had alot of worries.

"I won't pay much you know. Just a thousand per month. No medical benefit. No CPF, you know. Work from morning ten to at night ten. You can?" Boss asked, in the hope that Boon Keat might find the salary too low. He used to pay Ah Mun a thousand five monthly, inclusive of CPF. However, for Boon Keat, he decided not to commit too much.

Lai Huat could sense a bit of hesitation in Boon Keat and sat back. He knew that this offer was too much for anyone who once drew a salary of two thousand to accept. Besides, these are manual work, not office work.

Boon Keat looked straight into Lai Huat's eyes and finally made a positive decision. "Yes. Okay. CPF not important to me because I'm also fifty five already. No medical benefit also never mind! I hardly fall sick. Morning ten to at night ten also can because I live across the road only, so no need transport fees."

Lai Huat looked at his friend in disbelief. "Are you sure? Confirm? Hard work you know!" He asked.

Boon Keat nodded gladly. "I'm very happy to have found this job. At least now, we have an extra income."

For once, Boon Keat felt happy. Although he may have given up looking for his ideal job, he decided that for his age, this was the best God could offer him.

********************************

Boon Keat underwent some training from Lai Huat that day and he was told that the training was taught for free, so he will not be paid for that day. He learnt how to fix up a furniture and polish the drawers. He also learnt how to issue invoices and reciepts.

He reached home just in time for dinner at eight. To celebrate the success of a job interview, he bought a roast duck home for everyone.

"Boy ah! Open the gate for me!" Boon Keat called his twenty two year old son from the gate.

Jeroy, his grown up son totally ignored his father and continued to be engrossed in his online strategy game.

"Boy! I said open the door! You deaf or what!" Boon Keat shouted from the gate. Vanessa came rushing from the room and opened the front gate with the key hanging at the side of the wall.

"Pa." She greeted and helped her father with the plastic bag he was holding as he took off his shoes.

"This Ah Ming ah! Really!" He walked up to his son from the back and smacked him on his head hard.

Jeroy stood up immediately and backed off in defence. "What! You mad ah! Come home then beat people! Crazy is it!" He shouted.

Boon Keat was fuming. "Ya! Mad! Why? Because I have a useless son like you! Everyday play game, play game! Work don't want to find! Everyday do nothing! Is that what you want to do all your life?!"

"Shut up lah! Not like you're very good right! Four years never work, never bring money, still go out and drink with your friends using Ma's money! You also useless what!" The tall son shouted back and pointed at his father, "I become like this, also learn from you!"

Boon Keat slapped his son hard enough for his son to lose his balance for awhile. Jeroy leaned against the computer table and rubbed his face angrily.

Mrs Lee ran out of the kitchen and nudged her husband's arm, "what happen? Why you hit Ah Boy?!" She asked, another hand holding onto her son's muscular arm.

Jeroy shook off his mother's grip and stormed into his room. He slammed the door hard enough for Vanessa to jump from where she sat.

"I tell you! Pa found a job today! You think your pa idle at home everyday is it?! I tell you, you are not like me! I worked for twenty five years of my life to give you everything you need! Then the company sacked me and I went around looking for a job! I go out to look for job okay! You? You stay at home everyday and play your stupid game! I am going to smash your computer!" Boon Keat shouted at the closed door and unplugged all the plugs off the computer monitor angrily. "You think I'm joking! You getting from bad to worst!" He continued shouting as he took the entire monitor screen and walked out of the house.

Vanessa sat on the sofa quietly, afraid to say anything. When her father was fuming, it was better if everyone just kept quiet.

Mrs Lee shook her head and smelt something burning. "Oh no! My fish!" She yelped and went into the kitchen.

That night, Jeroy did not come out at all. He did not join them for dinner, neither did he come out to use the bathroom. His room was dead silent for the entire night. Boon Keat had instructed everyone to ignore him.

****************************

The next morning, Jeroy's room door was opened. Mrs Lee, being the first to wake up every morning, went into his room to check if her son was alright.

"Ah boy?" She called, walking into the empty room. The morning breeze blew into the room through the grilled windows, causing the flower printed curtains to flutter at its momentum.

There, she found a note on the study table. It was Jeroy's untidy handwriting and bad English.

After reading it briefly, she ran into her room in tears.

"Keat! Keat! Wake up! You see this! Ah Boy ran out of the house already!" She cried, shaking her snoring husband who was still in his dreamland.

Her husband sat up dreamily and looked at his wife. "What are you talking about?" He asked groggily.

Mrs. Lee turned on the bedside lamp so that Vanessa would not wake up and passed the crumpled note to her husband.

When you read this letter, I not here already. Go where? I also don't know. But my friends will take care of me lah! You two don't like me, think I very useless, okay lor! Now you all only have Mei to take care of, also can save more money lah! Don't have me, you don't need to feed me or pay for my electrical bill every month. Every month listen to you complain about my handphone bill and PUB bill really make me damn dulan (Hokkien term for "irritated")! I cannot stand it anymore lah! You all see what you all can do with your life! Don't need come find me already. Bye.

Boon Keat dropped the note onto his laps and stared into space for a good two minutes without speaking. His wife was sitting beside him sobbing. That was it. Not even a greeting or a sign off message.

He told his wife that Jeroy needed to experience life outside and that this trip for him, might instead do him good.

"If he comes back one day, he will be a different Ah Boy already. Let him be, "Boon Keat comforted his wife, although his heart was piercing with pain.

And so, Mrs Lee prayed to the Goddess of Guan Yin everyday for the recovery of her daughter's illness and the comeback of her son.

**********************************

It was finally Chinese New Year. A year had gone by and still no news of Jeroy. Mrs Lee flipped the newspaper everyday, hoping not to see any article of accidents or murder cases that might involve her son. No news, is always good news. She still prayed to the Goddess of Guan Yin diligently and offered fruits and tea.

The round table was filled with fresh raw meat and vegetables with an electric steamboat in the middle. The broth was boiling and Mrs Lee sat by the steamboat, waiting for her husband to come home.

Mr Lee came home at about six that day because Lai Huat had to go home for his reunion dinner.
"Sit, let's eat." Mrs Lee said with a smile when her husband opened the gate.

Boon Keat stepped into the house and sat beside his wife who had prepared a feast for him.

"This year, no reunion dinner because ah boy and ah girl not with us. Only you and me. So, we'll just settle for something simple okay?" Mrs Lee asked, lifting the lid of the steamboat.

Mr Lee looked at the two empty seats beside him and felt his heart ached. Last year, the family was seated at the reunion table, enjoying a feast of steamboat their mother prepared. This year, everything felt so empty.

He looked up at the altar and saw the Goddess of Guan Yin looking down at them. Beside her, was a photo of their beautiful daughter, Vanessa.

God Bless Sichuan

2008-05-25T22:13:00.003+08:00

This is not going to be a story entry, but a post dedicated to the Sichuan earthquake victims and their families.

I was watching the charity programme on TV and cried. It was too heartwrenching. Recently, a friend of mine committed suicide and left us. Another friend of my friend's also left this world. Everyone around us are committing suicide where people in Sichuan are STRUGGLING to keep alive.

My heart was really aching. How can people be so different? Are our lives so easily taken away? By some failed relationships or stress?

I can't imagine how it feels like to losing your loved ones in such a natural disaster.

Please, guys, call and donate to the charity show. I donated $6. I know it's not alot, but I'm not able to give more than that. I seriously, would give all I have if I can, but I do it within my limits.

Life's short and precious, treasure it.

God bless Sichuan... T_T I'll do anything for them, just leave a message in the comment box if they're looking for some help there. I'm willing to offer any service I can.

Holiday

2008-05-23T12:01:00.003+08:00

"Please? Just to Batam?" Twenty three year old Mabel pleaded her boyfriend of two years to take her to a year end vacation.

The couple had been together for two years, but have never travelled together, reason mainly due to financial constraints.

Ken groaned and shook off his girlfriend's pleading grasp. "It's not that I don't want to go with you. It's really because of money problems. Besides, end of the year is still a good six months away."

"But, we can plan right? We plan well, then you get a job in October. Then we can go to Batam in December! It's our third year anniversary too!" Mabel urged, nudging her boyfriend again.

This time, Ken got slightly frustrated.

"I told you, we can plan later. When we have the money, and when I get the job. Besides, we don't know what might happen in December right? What if, something crops up and we can't go? Or, what if we don't have enough money? We might not even live till then, maybe, right?" He explained, totally bent on not promising his girlfriend. "We'll see how in December alright?"

Mabel let go of her hand and looked down despondently. "By then, the rooms might already be fully booked because of the school holidays." She muttered.

Ken, glad that the conversation was going to an end, returned to his powerpoint project on his laptop. "Don't worry. We'll have a room for sure, alright?"

Mabel kept quiet. She knew that would be the answer for the entire discussion.

*****************************

"So how? You asked Ken already? What he say?" Minmin, Mabel's best friend asked her over the phone that very night.

Minmin had decided to plan a double date for themselves to Batam end of the year. She was ecstatic over that idea and requested for Mabel to ask Ken about it. She was looking forward to a romantic getaway with her boyfriend of one year, Ronny.

Mabel sighed, leaning against the bedpost. "I don't know. I don't think we'll be going. Ken doesn't sound too interested."

"What? Money again huh? But he'll be working by then right?" Minmin asked, her voice thickened with disappointment.

"Yeah. I don't know really. He doesn't seem to keen to go on a holiday. You know, I've been asking him for these two years to take me somewhere for a getaway, but, he never agrees to it. It makes me wonder if he truly wants to make me happy or not." Mabel replied with a heavy sigh. "It seems that each time we talk about this issue, we'll end up quarrelling, or, I'll be left disappointed. That is why I never really ask him anymore until now."

Minmin sighed as well. She felt sad for her girlfriend. From what she knew, Ken hardly even bought Mabel anything for their anniversaries or special occasions, let alone mention about a vacation. However, Mabel always seemed to explain to all her friends that Ken was still a student, so he was actually financially unstable yet to provide her with anything. Besides, Ken did sometimes bought her flowers and gifts on some good days. Mabel appreciated those days with gratitude.

"So how? Not going?" Minmin asked for the final time, her enthusiasm drained away.

Mabel shook her head as if Minmin was infront of her. "Nope. I guess you guys can go ahead."

The girls hung up and Mabel lay in the bed the entire night, determined not to let this matter get to her. She must, and she have to forget about this when morning arrives. That way, the disappointment and pain will all be slept away.

**************************************

The next day in school, Mabel was listless. She still had not gotten over last night's conversation with Minmin. How she wished she could go! Not alone, but with Ken.

Ken came from behind and hugged her. "Boo!" He said cheerfully.

Mabel jumped a little and smiled. "Hey."

Ken always looked good. His brown dyed hair was always styled according to the Japanese fashion magazines and his dress sense was always inspired by some Japanese rock star.

"How? Still unhappy about yesterday?" Ken asked, putting his arm across Mabel's shoulders.

Mabel smiled. "Nope. It's okay." She replied. "Where can we have lunch?" She asked, determined to avoid any question Ken might be asking regarding yesterday's conversation. She knew that it could be trouble if they continued yesterday's discussion.

They had lunch at a nearby school canteen. The best part about this couple was that both of them were students from the same local polytechnic. That way, they could meet for lunch daily and enjoy each other's company. However, on somedays, Mabel felt different. She felt that the mood for love was fading fast and Ken was not doing anything to salvage the entire situation.

"Are you still upset that we can't go on a vacation on December?" Ken asked, taking a sip of his Coke.

At last, the question she could not avoid.

Mabel shrugged. "I rather not talk about it."

Ken threw a glance at the petite girl. "Still upset right? I knew it. I'm just useless. Other people's boyfriends can take them for vacations, and your boyfriend can't. Yeah, I know." He muttered.

Mabel put her fork down and wiped her mouth with a piece of tissue. "Will you please, please stop saying that?"

"True right? I can't give you this, can't give you that. What you want, I can't give. Just because I'm poor, I'm useless. Is that it?" Ken probed, sitting back against the chair.

Mabel took a deep breath and sat up. "I said, no. Will you please drop it? It's no use talking about these now."

Mabel was trying to be patient.

She wanted to scream, "YES! Why won't you even attempt to try to make me happy?! Why? Even if you're poor, there are things you CAN do to make me happy! Why won't you even try?! Even if you promise me now that we CAN go on a vacation, if by then, something DO crop up or we lack money, at least we can DO something about it. Right now, you're like passing off a death sentence when November isn't even here yet!"

Ken rolled his eyes and looked away. "Whatever okay? I'm not as capable as Ronny. Not so rich. Cannot take you to a holiday. Okay? Useless me, okay?"

Mabel hated the way he put himself down during fights like that. He knew that Mabel would never agree that he was useless. That way, he could maybe, get Mabel to apologise and forget about the whole matter.

However, Mabel had been through this phase so many times, she no longer felt the need to apologise or feel sorry for him. If he had really felt sorry for himself, he would have done something more to make this relationship work out better.

They kept quiet for awhile. People sitting around them were now glancing over at their table, whispering amongst themselves. Ken's facial expression definitely was not helping.

"Look, let's just forget about this alright? I'll never ask for us to go for a holiday again. Whenever you think you are ready, you take me. I'll not ask again." Mabel sighed, giving in to this situation.

However, Ken did not take this positively.

"So now, you want to speak like that? You will not ask again? Why? Because I always disappoint you right? If you have the money, you go! You yourself have no money and yet you speak of me like that." He retorted.

Mabel threw the used tissue on the table angrily. "Fine! Is that what it's going to be like? You're now saying that because I AM poor, we're can't go on a holiday? Is that it? Or, should I say, it's because WE are poor? If, your dad ain't working, and your mom has cancer, you would have understood how much money means to me!" She cried, "All you think is yourself, yourself, yourself. What about me? All I ask for is a vacation with you. I don't care if we're going Malaysia or Batam or Bangkok. As long as we can go away to somewhere where you and I can relax and be happy, I don't care! You get it? That's why I want to go on a vacation so badly! If you don't understand me, go away!"

She stood up angry and grabbed her bag. She had enough. She could never believe how her boyfriend just put her down for having not enough money. It was true. She used her boyfriend's money for meals occasionally because she do not get much pocket money from her parents because of her jobless father, and an ailing mother who struggled to work.

She thought Ken understood all the while, but she was wrong. To him, she was always the one who was unreasonable and not sensible.

"Fine, if that's the case, there's no need to continue to be together." She muttered and walked off.

Mabel's heart was broken. Through and through.

*************************************

The cool breeze blew at her face as she sat on a white chair, facing the beautiful sunset.

Mabel took a sip of her cocktail and enjoyed every bit of the serenity Batam had in store for her.

Minmin and Ronny were running around in the water, with Minmin screaming her head off as Ronny attempted to catch her. Mabel smiled at the sweet couple.

December have arrived, and this was her vacation.

This was heaven. Her long awaited holiday.

Noi

2008-05-22T11:34:00.002+08:00

The boat was threading across the sea, bringing thirty eight year old Jimmy to a village in Hanoi to find a bride. He had seen some photos when he was back in Singapore, but meeting the girl he picked from thousand of photos made him nervous. Jimmy never had a blind date.

This girl he was going to meet was Noi. She looked tall and slender from the full body photos and she was only eighteen. Jimmy had been warned by his friends that some agencies actually lie about the girl's virginity and health status, so it was essential for him to make sure she undergo a full body check up before he touches her.

He and his agent finally arrived at the jetty. As he got out of the boat, he took a deep breath. Jimmy have never been more sure than this in his life. He needed a partner, and his mom demanded him to find a partner. So here he was, at Hanoi, meeting one of the most beautiful and innocent girl he will ever meet as compared to the materialistic and superficial ladies back in Singapore.

The sun was scorching as they were welcomed by a local agent by the name of Chai. Chai looked fifty. His hair was greying and his eyes squinted at the hot sun.

"He is Chai. He will take us to meet Noi." Jimmy's agent, Darun, told him in English, thickened with Vietnamese accent.

Jimmy nodded and followed the two men. They took a car Chai was driving down to a small village thirty minutes away from the jetty. The village was filled with chickens and ducks, roaming around freely. Children stopped at their pace and looked as Jimmy stepped down from the car. All the ladies that were outside washing rice, rinsing clothes, chopping woods, went into their houses as soon as the car made its entrance. Jimmy realised that Noi actually came from a very conservative village, and that was a good sign.

Chai went into a house while Darun and Jimmy stood outside. Jimmy could hear Chai's voice coming from within the house, then an old lady seemed to be responding. After a short while, Chai came out and smiled at Jimmy.

He spoke to Darun in Vietnamese and Darun nodded all knowingly.

"Noi will come out. We must wait in that house." Darun told Jimmy as he pointed to a shack opposite the grounds.

He followed the two men into the shack and sat on a chair. The air was humid and Jimmy found himself perspiring. Chai had offered him a tin of water, but Jimmy did not touch it, for fear of the bad hygiene the village practiced.

They waited for about twenty minutes before Noi stepped into the house in a red dress. Jimmy was immediately smittened. She was tall and slim, just like in the photos. Her curves were just right. Her long hair was tied up neatly into a ponytail and she looked even more beautiful than any other women he knew in Singapore. She had eyes that sparkle when she looked at him shyly. Jimmy felt that this was not a wasted trip.

"This is Noi," Darun introduced.

Noi smiled shyly and looked down.

Jimmy smiled back and offered the girl to sit down. Noi sat beside her prospective husband and continued to look down shyly. Her grandmother sat on the other side of Noi, holding a handmade fan, fanning herself profusely.

"Noi is eighteen. She will go Singapore with you if you want her. She is ready to leave anytime from now, but you have to pay the money and leave your gifts behind before you can take her," Darun said professionally.

Jimmy smiled. "Yes, okay. I will bring her back tomorrow."

Noi looked up at him with a surprised look.

"This is the money we agreed on." Jimmy handed the envelope filled with cash to Darun, who in hand, took out the money and counted out aloud in the presence of the old lady.

The old lady smiled and took the money. With her palms meeting together, she bowed slightly at Jimmy and said something in Vietnamese.

"She say, thank you, please take care of Noi." Darun translated and wiped off the glistening sweat on his forehead.

Jimmy nodded and looked at Noi. Noi's features were delicate and soft. He almost could not believe how lady luck was on his side.

That night, Jimmy was not supposed to meet Noi. He could only really get to know her when they go back to Singapore. That was their rule. You pay, and the girl is yours. Jimmy could not sleep that night. All he thought of was Noi.

*****************************************

The next day, Jimmy woke up bright and early. He spent the entire morning buying rice, flour, live chickens, 8 fresh salted fish, assorted vegetables, eggs, tins of milk powder and sugar. He felt that these were sufficient gifts to give to his future in-laws for now. Besides, these foodstuff did not cost him much.

"Thank you!" Noi's grandmother took the packages with gratitude and spoke to her grand-daughter in Vietnamese.

Noi stepped forward to help with all the packages. The children in the village stood at the door and looked at the foodstuff Jimmy bought with envy.

Noi shifted a stool towards the window so that Jimmy could feel the breeze. "Sit, please." She spoke in a soft, pleasant voice. Her English, thick with the local accent.

Jimmy sat down and told Noi to sit beside him. She took a stool and sat shyly beside the man twenty years older than she is.

Jimmy might be turning forty in two years time, but he certainly did not look like it. He exercises frequently and did facials back at home. The problem with him being single was, he simply was not interested in the ladies around him. To him, Singapore ladies were too materialistic and vain. When it comes to marrying a lady, he was all back to basics.

Darun came shortly and nagged at Jimmy for leaving him at the hotel alone. They had their last dinner at Noi's house and left to catch the last boat to the city. Noi hugged her grandmother and cried for a long time. Jimmy's heart wrenched at the sight of it. He promised Noi that she could come back anytime to visit grandmother as long as she treats him like a husband.

That night, Noi and Jimmy shared the same room. On many occasions, Jimmy was tempted to give his bride to be a kiss, but he held back and reminded himself that they have all the time in Singapore for these business.

***************************************

Rosy stood at the arrival hall in Terminal One with her sister, Lily.

"Why so long? The schedule said it landed already but I still don't see my Jimmy!" Rosy complained and looked at her watch for the umpteenth time.

Lily sat on a chair and arranged her hair. "Aiya, don't worry. He will come out one! Just wait awhile can or not?!"

Rosy sat beside her sister and looked at her red painted nails. "I don't even know if that girl is good or not. Singapore so many girls, he only want that Vietnam wife. I want to see, how they communicate! Sure got problems one, I tell you! Those Vietnam, China brides... tsktsk." Rosy shook her head and massaged her aching feet. "You don't know right? They all become permanent resident and run away! All like that one!"

Lily sighed. "What to do? We already tell Jimmy one thousand times, but he still want his Vietnam wife. We already warn him, he don't listen, we also can't do anything right? You also sixty already, you still want to bother about his life so much for what?"

Lily could never understand her older sister. Rosy, for one, does not dress like her age. She loves flashy clothings and expensive shoes that often caused her to have aching feet due to her plump body size. She does her hair only at David Gan's hair salon.

"She see! If she come Singapore and tries to be funny, I will make sure she gets nothing and go back to Vietnam!" Rosy retorted and stood up.

Just then, she saw her son emerging from the check-out counter.

"Jimmy!" She called out excitedly and waved frantically.

Jimmy waved back with a smile and muttered to Noi, "that is my mother. She can be difficult, but all you have to do is bear with her, and make her happy. She likes people to tell her she is young and beautiful. Whatever you do, just don't make her feel old."

Noi nodded and waited for their bags to arrive. Noi was already starting to feel a little insecure about being in a foreign land. She felt sick during the flight and vomited twice. Thank god for Jimmy, he made her feel alot better by giving her sips of water in short intervals.

"That girl looks quite pretty what! Maybe abit too skinny only..." Lily commented as she saw the couple standing by the belt, waiting for their bags.

Rosy was still smiling at her precious son. She missed her son so much for the past three days. Jimmy was her only son and they have been depending on each other since his father passed away when he was only ten.

"Ma!" Jimmy called out happily as he pushed the luggages out with Noi walking beside him.

"Jimmy!" Rosy cried and hugged her grown up son when he stood beside her. "Ma miss you so much! Did you eat well there? My, my, you've grown thinner!"

Jimmy laughed and hugged his mother back. "This is Noi. She will be your daughter-in-law." He introduced as he let go of his mother's embrace.

Noi placed her palms together and gave a little bow. "Hello, mother." She greeted in a small voice.

Rosy merely let out a "hm" and held onto her son's arm. "How was it there? Hot?"

*******************************

Noi was in love with Singapore. Singapore is so much cleaner than her home back at Vietnam and there are trees everywhere. The people here drove beautiful cars, and live in tall houses. There are no chickens and ducks running around and the car she was sitting in was air-conditioned!

Jimmy interrupted her sight-seeing by putting his hand on top of hers. "How is it? You like Singapore?" He asked.

Noi nodded with a faint smile. "Yes. Beautiful." She replied, and she meant it.

She was told that Jimmy was rich. Noi had not meant to concentrate so much on that aspect, but she needed money for her grandmother's heart surgery. She was determined to get help from her husband in the future.

Jimmy's house was huge. His family dabbled in the food industry and fared very well for the past twenty years. It was all thanks to his mother's capability to start this business. Now, Jimmy is taking over it and it is still running very well.

"This is our house," Jimmy told Noi when the white Mercedes Benz pulled to a stop outside a white bungalow.

Noi got off the car and looked around. There was a garden and a mini pond with a plastic running fountain. She could see beautiful kois swimming happily in the pond and for once, she realised that she is now, really a princess.

Noi went into the house and stepped on the marbled floor with care. She was practically tip-toeing into the house. Jimmy saw that and laughed, "Noi! Relax and walk! You won't fall!"

Noi bit her bottom lip and placed her two feet flat on the ground. Inhaling deeply, she replied, "My feet. Dirty. No good."

Aunt Lily smiled and invited Noi to sit on a big sofa in the living room. "Sit. I'll get the maid to get you something to drink. You want sweet drink?" She offered.

Noi shook her head politely, "no. Water. Thank you."

"Siti! Give young ma'am some iced water!" Lily shouted from the living room as she slumped herself clumsily into a single sofa couch.

Rosy was in the kitchen to supervise the dinner preparation by the maids. She had instructed them to cook curry chicken and fried hokkien mee for her son. She wondered if the maids cooked correctly. Nothing else mattered more than her son's meals.

A short, dark skinned girl in shorts and t-shirt came out with a tray of drinks, the sound of ice chinkling against the glasses echoed in the living room.

"This is Siti." Lily introduced when the girl finally placed the tray on the glass table.

Noi smiled and nodded at the maid, who returned the favour by smiling back.

"This is your new mistress. Next time, she want to makan (eat for Malay) or anything, you do for her. Understand?" Lily instructed the maid who nodded knowingly.

Siti walked off after she was dismissed. Rosy came out of the kitchen and turned on the air-conditioner.

"So hot these days! I wonder why!" Rosy's voice rang loudly in the huge three storey house. She took the remote control and turned on the air-conditioner. "Those maids. So stupid. Uptil now, they still haven't finish cooking the curry. How many hours already!" She continued to nag as she walked to the sofa and settled herself ont0 her massage chair.

Jimmy chuckled and sat beside his mother. He placed his arm across his mother's shoulders and gave her a kiss on her head. "Ma. You're getting prettier and prettier. Three days never see you, you become younger huh!" He joked.

Rosy casually waved her hand at her son and giggled. "Of course! You know, your ma was a beauty queen in 1970 okay! Then, suddenly, you came into my stomach. Spoil everything!" She repeated this story for the millionth time.

"It was your fault what! Who ask you get pregnant before you marry Ah Wei? You ask for it. Not Jimmy's fault!" Lily retorted back at her sister, defending her precious nephew.

The argument went on for awhile until dinner time.

All the while, Noi sat there, absolutely quiet.

***********************************

The wedding dinner was a bash. Everyone complimented how beautiful Noi was in her evening gowns.

"So pretty! So lucky!" John, Jimmy's childhood friend of thirty three years gushed when he saw the bride.

Noi smiled shyly as Jimmy agreed with John with pride. "Of course! She is beautiful! My wife what!"

That night, Jimmy was drunk. Noi settled him down in bed and went to sleep.

*****************************************

It was the fifth month into their marriage when Jimmy could no longer take it.

It was nine in the night when Noi was watchin television in the room. Jimmy finished work early and sat on the bed with his wife.

"Watchin tv? What's on?" He asked, trying to sound as casually as possible.

Noi, her eyes still fixed onto the screen, replied, "drama. Very nice."

Jimmy nodded and sat up. He placed his hand on his wife's shoulder and waited for a reaction.

No. Noi did not push his hand away, or tell him she was tired.

Happy that he made the first step, he proceeded on to kissing her back.

That was when Noi turned around and recoiled herself quickly.

"Jim. I say. Time. Now, no." She said with a shiver in her voice. "You good man. I know you good man." She continued, pulling her shirt closer to her body.

Jimmy threw himself back and scratched his head helplessly.

"I married you for five months and I haven't even touched you! What kind of married couple are we?!" He cried and kicked the blanket in anger. "You don't love me is it? Is that why you don't want to make love?" He demanded to know.

Noi's tears rolled down her cheeks. "I thought, Jim wait. Noi wrong. Noi wrong. Jim bad." She spoke shakily.

Jimmy's soft spot would be a woman's tears. No matter how angry he may be, if a lady cries infront of him, he could apologise.

"Argh. Forget it." Jimmy gave up and took his pillow, "I'm going out to sleep."

With that, he went out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

Noi sat back onto her bed and realised that her plan can no longer wait. She must execute it tonight.

********************************

Noi woke up at three in the morning when everyone was asleep. For the past five months, she had been studying the house and the way the household worked. She had to be sure of what she could take, and what she could not. Her mother-in-law had been tough on her since she married into the family. She must not let this plan fail.

Quietly, she bent down and pulled out a light weight bag from underneath the bed. Quickly, she tucked in some clothes and undergarments. She opened up her drawer and found some jewelleries Jimmy had given to her during the night of their wedding.

Swiftly, she took it and put it into her bag.

As quietly as she could, she called the train station and requested to know the schedule of the earliest train that goes down to Malaysia.

After making a booking for one ticket, she changed into a simple shorts and t-shirt. She had to move fast.

The maids would be up by six. She had to act fast.

She tip toed her way downstairs and took all the ornaments she could find in the living room. She had been eyeing on those precious ornament for the past five months. All these antiques could be sold and the money could give her grandmother a better life.

Carefully, she also took about hundred thousand worth of hard cash from the family's safe. She had asked Jimmy for the passcode, but he had refused to let her know. However, one day, he relented when she agreed to let him touch her bosom.

"We are married,"was what Noi said to coax her husband. "No secret."

Taking all she needed, she headed out of the house and exited from the back door, leaving the large house behind her.

*******************************

"Do you want to wait for her here? She is coming out soon," Rin, a Vietnamese agent asked a thirty year old man who came all the way from Singapore to look for a bride.

The man nodded and sat on a stool.

After ten minutes, a girl walked in in a blue dress, her long hair tied up into a ponytail. She is slim and her body showed youth and vibrant.

The man was totally smittened.

"Hello. My name is Noi."

She said with a shy smile.

TAP

2008-05-20T19:16:00.002+08:00

Mandy looked behind her spookily as she walked down the corridor of a quiet hospital. The lights were dim and flickering.

She quickened her pace as she heard footsteps following her.

The nurse walked faster and faster, almost running now.

She had to run.

Fast enough.

The footsteps were closer, clearer.

Run.

Run.

Run!

"CUT!"

Sharon stopped running and wiped off a thin layer of perspiration on her forehead as her assistant ran up to her with a bottle of VodaVoda mineral water and a box of tissue paper.

"Good job!" The director shouted happily as he gave the beautiful actress a thumb-up sign to signal the end of a day's work. Everyone started to clear the filming ground.

Sharon sat on a mini-stool and drank her water with relish. She had been filming that particular scene for four hours and she finally did it. She hated this particular director because he was known specially to "torture" actors in the entertainment circle. However, his movies always had good critics and that was why Sharon agreed to pick up the role as Mandy, a nurse who was working in a haunted hospital.

As everyone was busy bustling around the 3rd level of the abandoned hospital, Sharon's handphone rang.

Her assistant, Kimmie, quickly brought the phone to the actress who was busy packing her bag.

"Hello?" Sharon said as she signalled Kimmie to pack the remaining things into her bag while she walked to a quiet corner to speak.

"Hey baby. Finished filming, finally?" A cheerful voice quipped from the other side of the small Nokia phone.

"Ya. Finally! I was practically exercising alright! That stupid director kept making me run and run. So stupid," Sharon complained, leaning against an old wall. "What time is it now huh? I was so busy I didn't take note."

"Oh. Um. It's about..." There was a short pause, "about one a.m. Do you want me to come and pick you up? I'm around the vicinity." Her boyfriend offered.

Sharon smiled. Her boyfriend of two years can be the sweetest thing on earth sometimes. He can be pretty possessive at times, but his wealth and character made it easier for Sharon to overlook his tiny flaw.

"Okay. I'm starving by the way. Let's grab something to eat before going home," Sharon smiled to herself and hung up the phone after her boyfriend agreed to the idea.

"Kimmie! Are we done?" Sharon asked with a smile. She felt so much better now, especially after listening to her boyfriend's voice and having a sumptuous supper to look forward to.

Kimmie Lim was barely twenty. The polytechnic student was only taking over Sharon's permanent assistant, Liza, who was on a one month long holiday. Although Kimmie was just doing her holiday job, she took it seriously and Sharon had no complains or whatsoever about this young girl.

Kimmie slung the bag across her shoulder and nodded. "Yup! Done!"

The crew cleared everything and started to move off from the place.

As they headed down, Kimmie and Sharon were one of the last people to follow behind. Sharon was a staunch Christian, so she never really bothered about ghosts and stuff. However, Kimmie, being young and ignorant, nudged Sharon when they were reaching the 2nd level.

"Sharon, are you afraid of ghosts?" Kimmie asked suddenly, her voice almost in a whisper. She was probably worried the other crew might laugh at her stupidity.

Sharon giggled.

"Darling. If there were ghosts, I would be the first to bump into them alright?" The actress laughed and shook her head, "when I was nineteen, I believed in ghosts too. So I don't blame you honey." She continued as they continued to the first level.

One of the crew member, John, interrupted, "you wouldn't say that if you really met one, Sharon. This world is full of mysteries. You better watch out since you didn't participate in the prayer session before the filming of this movie."

Sharon smirked.

"Only stupid people hold joss sticks and bow to nothing alright? It's been two months now and we're still filming fine. I don't see the hassle of praying or something. Jesus loves us too much. Besides, "Sharon said and tucked a strand of hair behind her left ear, "ghosts don't even exist."

They arrived at the ground level. The abandoned hospital stank of urine and rotting animals. It was exceptionally bad on the first level.

"Ew. Somebody should come and clean up this place. I can't believe we're going to film in this hospital for the next one month." Sharon complained as she tip-toed across some broken planks.

The crew remained quiet as they headed towards the exit. Kimmie was grabbing hold of Sharon's arm as she tried to quicken her pace to follow the other crew members.

After a good five minutes walk towards the entrance, they finally arrived at the main gate. A car was parked right by the gate with the headlights still on.

"I've got to go," Sharon told Kimmie happily and bidded the crew farewell before rushing towards the BMW and hopping into the front seat.

"My god, Ben. You won't believe it. Thank God I exercise often or else I would have probably been dead by now, " the girl complained as she bent over and gave her twenty eight year old boyfriend a kiss on the cheek. She was well aware the crew members were looking, but she hardly bothered what others think of her.

Ben laughed and drove off. The night was quiet but Sharon's voice filled the car as they made their way to supper. Ben loves this lady. She is not only beautiful, but filled with energy. She always had this enthusiasm in her that he lacks. She has got to be the one woman he could spend the rest of his life with.

They stopped by a coffeeshop near Geylang and ordered frog porridge and beef horfun. Sharon could eat and never gain any weight. She blamed it on her high metabolic rate.

"Hmm! You can't imagine how hungry I am, okay?! That stupid Kenny made me ran like a mad cow for four hours! Crazy!" Sharon cursed and swear as she ate her porridge delightfully, "this is really good!" She quipped.

Ben laughed. "Take it slowly, dear. We've all night. Do you have filming tomorrow?" He asked, taking a mouthful of the horfun.

Sharon nodded. "Yup. At eight. Same place. Stupid you know, film horror movie in such a smelly and dirty hospital. Why can't they just build something up in the studio?" She replied with disgust and winced. "Oh. The thought of going back to that smelly place really spoils my appetite." She placed the chopsticks neatly on top of her bowl of half eaten porridge.

That night, Sharon reached home at about three. Ben had dutifully sent her to the doorstep and bidded her goodbye. He left after making sure Sharon locked the door behind her.

Sharon lived in a beautiful condominium down at Bukit Timah. She had recently upgraded from a private apartment to this very home because she loved the feeling of living in a wealthy vicinity. She made plans to buy a home with Ben in the near future at Sixth Avenue where all the wealthy people live at. That would be her ultimate dream.

Her parents are residing in America where she was raised since ten. She came back to Singapore when she was eighteen and stayed here ever since. Acting had been an interest. Sharon knew that she was born to entertain since she was seven. She picked up her first role as Tammy in a local serial drama when she turned twenty. That was her stepping stone to her career. Given her stunning beauty, being made popular in Asia simply took her four years. Now, at twenty six, she drives a Lexus, and does movies.

The night finally ended for Sharon at five. She did her normal nightly routine. She checked her voice machine, read mails, fed her dog, took an aromatherapy bath, did her facial and gulped down a glass of fruit smoothie. Only then, she felt comfortable enough to sleep.

It was about eight thirty in the morning when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She was still in a midst of her sleep when that happened. Disturbed by it, she woke up and turned around. It could be her dog, but to her surprise, there was no one. The house was exceptionally quiet too. There were no sound of intruders. Convinced that it might just be her imagination, she fell back asleep.

She had slept through the entire day, and woke up only at six in the evening when the sun was setting.

"Oh," Sharon groaned as she rubbed the back of her stiff neck groggily. It was strange. She had slept the entire day and she still felt tired.

"Shelbert!" Sharon called for her dog loudly as she sat up. The setting of the sun reflected the orange twilight onto her white bedsheets.

"Shelbert?" She called out again, only to find her puppy standing at the doorway of her room, staring her at her.

Sharon smiled and clapped her hands. "Shelbert! Come here!"

The brown puppy stood where he was and refused to move. Sharon was startled.

"Shelbert? Come to mummy." She urged again, this time, kneeling on the bed so that the dog could see her better.

The dog barked at her loudly and ran off.

"Shelbert!" Sharon cried and ran after her puppy. Her puppy ran to the living room and hid himself under the sofa. The gap was narrow, hence, Sharon could not stretch her hand in to pull him out.

"Shelbert!" She called again and sat on the floor despondently. She felt totally lethargic. It felt like she could not do anything. All she wanted to do was sleep. Just then, her handphone rang.

Rushing into the bedroom again, Sharon slumped onto her bed and picked up the phone.

"Hello?" She yawned.

"Hello? Sharon! Kimmie here! Are you ready? I'm downstairs!"

Sharon rubbed her temples and moaned. "Oh, alright. I'll be right down." She threw her phone on her bed and gently slapped herself. "Wake up!" She told herself and headed to the bathroom to wash up.

She had totally forgotten about Sherbert when she headed towards her carpark in her cap and her casual t-shirt and shorts. She tried her best to dress up, but she simply felt too lazy and tired to put on any cosmetics or get dressed up. She left house as quickly as she could after pouring some food into Sherbert's feeding bowl.

Sharon drove her Lexus out of the carpark and stopped by a pavement outside where Kimmie was waiting for her.

"Oh, you don't know how hot ..." Kimmie was grumbling as she closed the door and immediately gasped when she saw how horrible Sharon looked. "My god, Sharon! Did you sleep last night?"

Sharon looked at her rearview mirror and tapped her cheek worriedly, "do I look horrible?"

Kimmie immediately offered the concealer Sharon uses during filming. "Use this. You'll scare everyone, I swear."

Kimmie was kind enough to apply the concealer for Sharon as she drove themselves to the hospital that Sharon dreaded.

"I don't know, Kim. It feels like I haven't been sleeping in years. My whole body just feels weird. Do you think I'm just too tired?" Sharon asked as she pulled up during the red traffic.

Kimmie took a bite of her pork bun and offered another to the actress who declined politely. "You know," Kimmie started, "maybe you're just too tired. Do you want to take a break? I'll tell Kenny about it. You go home and sleep." She offered.

Sharon shook her head as she kept rubbing her stiff neck. "No, no. If we delay this whole thing for stupid reasons like these, I'll have trouble with other producers in the near future. You know how eccentric directors are."

They arrived at the filming ground shortly. Sharon found it harder to keep awake as she stepped out of the car. She just wanted to sleep.

Kimmie and Sharon made their way up to the 2nd level of the hospital where the filming will be done that night. The crew and the cameras were getting ready as Sharon greeted the director with a weak smile while Kimmie went to get her costume.

"Hi Kenny," Sharon said in a weakest voice.

The producer turned around and was pretty shocked to see the actress that was once so beautiful, looking like she have aged overnight. "Sharon! What happen to you? You look sick. Are you not feelin well?" He asked, his voice thick with concern.

Sharon smiled. "No, no. Not enough sleep, that's all. Just don't shine too much light on me tonight. We'll do those dark scenes first. Is that alright?" She asked, steadying herself while holding on the the back of Kenny's chair.

Kenny agreed to it and ordered everyone to shift the filming equipments to the forth level where there was a broken down lift. They had intended to use the one at the second level, but the doors of the lift refused to open up, hence, they decided to find one with the doors already opened.

"We'll do the lift scene first. Get ready," Kenny instructed Sharon when she came out of the changing curtain in her nurse uniform.

Kimmie passed the actress the script for the lift scene and took the changed clothes from her hands.

The make-up artist, Joey, came up to Sharon and ordered her to sit down while he worked on her make up. As he dabbed the concealer for Sharon, he said numerous "tsks". Sharon could not concentrate on her script and looked up to the skinshavened make-up artist with irritation.

"Can you stop saying tsk tsk? It's really irritating," Sharon complained, her brows frowning.

Joey pointed at her face and whined. "You look at your face! Do you ever do facials? Dark eye rings, bad skin! No matter how much concealer I put for you, you still look horrible!"

"I didn't sleep well last night, that's all," the actress mumbled and went back to her script.

Basically, this scene did not require her to run or do any physically exhausting stunts. She was only required to look scared and scream. Even for this screaming scene, Sharon did some preparation last week before they starting filming at the hospital. Ben had complained of deafness after she screamed at his apartment.

Sharon was asked to sit at a corner of the lift and curl up as tiny as she could. She did as she was told.

"Later, when Cindy crawls down from behind, you look up and you scream. Okay?" Kenny instructed as he took his place beside the camera man.

Sharon nodded and curled up, her face turned pale with horror. She could act well. No matter what she was asked to act, she could do it within minutes. Even crying was easy.

Cindy, the "ghost" had climbed up to the top of the lift and stayed there with her long wig and bloody eyes. She was ready to make the horror appearance.

"The strings okay? Cindy?" Kenny asked, pointing a thumb-up sign to the "ghost" lying on her chest at the top of the lift ceiling.

Cindy returned the thumb-up sign and got ready.

The camera rolled.

Mandy looked around fearfully as she curled tightly at a corner of the lift. Tears filled her eyes as she prayed aloud. "Oh God! Please, please don't let anything happen to me!" She buried her face into her hands.

Then she felt it.

She felt a tap on her shoulder. Mandy looked up from her hands and looked at Kenny. She did not remember reading this part on her script. However, Kenny did not stop or shout "cut", so she continued with the scene.

Mandy shook with fear when suddenly, she heard a loud, screeching scream in her left ear.

Sharon passed out.

*********************************************

"Sharon," Kimmie called gently as she slapped the actress's face lightly.

Sharon opened her eyes and felt her eyelids flutter as she struggled to sit up. They were still at the hospital, but the crew were all crowding around her. Everyone dispersed when the actress regained consciousness.

"Kim!" Sharon cried and hugged her assistant like a baby. Kimmie patted the actress and smoothed her hair. "Hush. I think you're too tired."

That night, Sharon went home with the company of Kimmie. She did not drive her Lexus back. She was not in the right state to, anyway.

"Do you live here alone?" Kimmie asked in awe as she helped the weak actress to the sofa. The house was beautifully done, with white lace curtains and fanciful decors. For once, she understood how the rich differed from the poor.

Sharon did not reply and sat down. Her body was aching all over. It felt as though she had been bashed all over for twenty hours straight. She could not move much and her head was throbbing with pain.

"I'll get you some wa-" Kimmie stood up and was about to head to the kitchen when she saw a brown puppy standing behind a couch. "Oh, you have a dog!"

Sharon had been so tired, she barely noticed her precious dog. Now that she realised Shelbert had been staring at her, his body stiff and defensive, she called out to him. "Shelbert!" She said softly, bending down a little to signal her dog to come over.

However, the dog did not move. Shelbert continued to stare at his owner.

Sharon got irritated and upset. She threw a cushion at the dog from where she sat. "Stop staring at me. Go away." She groaned and cried.

Kimmie came out with a glass of water. "Drink some water." She offered to the crying actress and sat beside her.

Sharon sobbed and took the glass. Wiping off the snort on her nose, she took a sip of water and faced Kimmie. She placed an icy cold hand on top of Kimmie's and asked, "did you hear the scream in the lift?"

Kimmie looked at the girl with smudged mascara streaking down her cheeks and shook her head. "No. You just passed out suddenly. We really didn't know why."

Sharon gripped Kimmie's hand. Kimmie winced in pain as Sharon pressed her long nails into the girl's tender flesh.

"I heard it. I heard it. It was so loud. It was like.."

Sharon let out a shrilly scream. Shelbert ran into the room and hid under the bed. Kimmie felt her hair stood up behind her neck. She was starting to get afraid.

"Did you hear that? It was in the lift. It was with me. Didn't you all hear it?! It was so loud!" Sharon asked nervously, still gripping onto Kimmie's hand.

Kimmie patted the cold hand that held onto hers and tried to shift herself into a comfortable position.

"Okay... Sharon. Nobody heard anything. You just passed out. Nobody knew what happened. Cindy haven't even made her entrance yet. I don't know what sound you heard, but it was definitely not one of us."

"And the tap! Someone has been tapping my shoulder! This morning and at the lift! There was someone tapping on my shoulder!" Sharon cried, unable to control her emotions any further. Suddenly, her life felt like it was in a mess, and, for once, she did not know what to do.

Kimmie kept quiet and hugged Sharon. Then she looked at the distraught lady whose hair was no longer in place, and she no longer looked so beautiful.

***************************************

"We heard some stories about you being disturbed by some spirits when you were filming "The Fourth Level". Is any bit of that true?" The reporter interviewing Sharon asked.

Sharon smiled and sat back against a big red couch, her dark brown curls neatly pushed back with her sunglasses. She looked happy and relaxed.

"Okay. First of all, those reports exaggerated abit," Sharon laughed and crossed her legs comfortably. "I wasn't possessed alright, and no, my boyfriend, now fiance, did not leave me or anything like that. We're still happy together, and yes, we're getting married next year." She revealed confidently, her white teeth flashing at the beautiful reporter sitting opposite her.

"Oh. Tell us what happened?" The reporter probed, hinting the actress that she had replied out of the point.

Sharon cleared her throat and looked serious, for once, since the interview started.

"I was apparently, disturbed by this spirit from the hospital. I didn't know who, or what it is,
but I was petrified alright. It haunted me for two weeks. I was practically skeletal and boney by the end of the whole thing." Sharon started, and showed the reporter some blue black bruises on her arms. "These, were inflicted by "it". I don't know how I got it, but all I know is, I was tapped on my arms and back so many times, sometimes there were bruises."

The reporter sat up. "Then? What happened?"

Sharon took a sip of her ice lemon tea and settled back down. " Anyway, I used to not believe in praying before filming alright? You can ask anyone who worked with me. Whenever they prayed, I would be standing at the side and only take part in the phototaking sessions as part of the publicising job." She paused for awhile and went on, "but after this incident, I learnt from my mistakes. I know, now, why we must pray before we film."

"It is to respect the dead and anyone "living" around the filming area. I didn't use to believe in that, but I swear, after all those tapping and "that thing" following me home, I learnt. So, no matter what, always remember to say a small prayer before occupying any space or doing anything on any abandoned grounds. You never know what you might get."

The reporter nodded. "I heard about these stuff too. So, how did all that haunting stop?"

Sharon laughed, "simple. Pray and offer some offerings to "it". As long as you're sincere about it, "that thing" leaves you alone, and oh yes, you've to let them know you're just filming there so that, you know, they won't get confused."

The reporter laughed and nodded. "It was that simple?"

The actress pulled down her sunglasses and smiled, "yes, because it was a female ghost who meant no harm. She was simply asking for help because I was wearing my nurse uniform all the while when I was filming there."

******************************************

Two months ago...

"Let's see the playback," Kenny told his producer in the studio after the crew came back from the hospital. Sharon had gone home early after the faint and everyone decided to call it a night since the main actress was not there.

The producer played back and stopped at a part before Sharon fainted. They saw a faint white shadow beside Sharon. They zoomed in closer and was terrified when they saw a face of a lady. She was screaming into Sharon's ear.

Ah Mei

2008-05-16T09:30:00.001+08:00

The cool breeze caused a little flutter at Ah Mei's long flower skirt as she sat on the parapet of her 12th storey HDB flat.

A small smile was fixed on her chubby face as she closed her eyes and fully enjoyed the triumph of being high up from everyone.

After humming her favourite childhood song, she plunged down.

******************************

Earlier during the day, Ah Mei was at the factory. She was a salaried worker for a fishball factory near Chua Chu Kang. The working environment was ideal because it was near her four room HDB flat, probably ten minutes by foot, or even less than five when she took a bus.

Her work started at five in the morning. It had to be early because the fishballs had to be sent out to different supermarkets and suppliers at eight daily. Ah Mei decided to work the morning shift this week because she did the night shift for a consecutive of two weeks. Night shifts always earned her extra money. If times were good, the night shift workers got almost a hundred to two hundred dollars extra at the end of each month. Hence, many people volunteered to work the tedious night shifts.

At nine, the factory released the workers out for breakfast down at the canteen. The canteen would be packed with middle aged ladies and men, chattering and drinking their coffees from tin cans. Ah Mei sat at a corner table and unwrapped her packet of fried carrot cake. She was famished, but she lost her appetite at the thought of an ended relationship with her boyfriend.

"What have I done wrong?" Ah Mei cried as she held her handphone close to her ear.

"Stop wailing! That's all you know how to do! Cry, cry, cry! I've had enough. We're not suitable for each other. Bye!" The other party on the other end of the reciever shouted and slammed the phone down.

Ah Mei held on to the phone and continued crying her night away.

The thought of last night overwhelmed the twenty four year old girl as she ate her carrot cake in tears. After the third forkful, she decided to give up and threw the packet of carrot cake into the bin.

The day ended at three for Ah Mei. As she made her way to the market to stock up some groceries for her family, she saw Teck Soon, her ex boyfriend, sitting at one of the coffeeshops with a group of girls. His arm was dangling comfortably on a girl's shoulders.

Ah Mei stopped her pace and looked at the man who used to tell her she was beautiful even though nobody in this world thought so. Tears welled her eyes as she found herself transfixed onto the ground. Her feet refused to move. She stood right there and looked at the carefree man enjoying the company of skanky and skinny girls.

Home, to Ah Mei, was not a place of solace. She might not have mentioned it, but she hated her home. Her mother was an executive at a large company where status mattered, whereas her father was an engineer for a prestigous airline. Their family was considered well-off as compared to their neighbours.

Ah Mei had a younger sister, Yin Lian, who recently changed her name to Roxy. She was funky, cool and popular. Most importantly, she was skinny and beautiful. Although Roxy was a good four years younger than Ah Mei, she knew alot more than she did. Ah Mei was never academically inclined.

"I bought lunch," Ah Mei went home and found her sister watching some Taiwan drama on television. She took out a packet of rice and passed it to her sister.

Roxy, painting her last nail and without looking at her sister, replied, "put it behind me."

Ah Mei did what she was told and went into the kitchen to put the groceries down. The weight of the groceries was taxing. Especially when she weighed ninety kilograms. Her weight was starting to take a toll on her. She found herself tired very easily and the back of her feet was starting to crack.

"What happened to you and your boyfriend? He usually comes home with you," Roxy asked as she opened her packet of rice and wrinkled her nose in disgust, "yucks! Curry! Do you know how fattening it is to eat all that rice and curry?" She pushed the packet away and stood up, "you can have that. I'll go cook some instant noodles."

Ah Mei sat down infront of the the packet of rice that her sister left open. She took a spoonful of rice covered with thick curry sauce and ate it. She could never understand her skinny sister. Curry had got to be one of the best food around, but her mother and sister could never understand it.

"So how?" Roxy shouted from the kitchen, "where is your boyfriend? Dumped you already ah?"

Ah Mei choked at the rice and coughed out loud.

Her younger sister stood at the entrance of the kitchen and laughed, "I told you right? Guys will never like fat girls. They are really superficial, but you were that stupid to believe that stupid guy will stay by you. Come on, Jie (dialect for calling an older sister)! Be practical alright? Guys are pure horny by nature and they lust over girls." She said all knowingly, flipping her long hair behind her shoulders. "So what makes you think that guy will actually stick with you? Do you really believe that looks didn't matter?" She continued and walked back into the kitchen, "stop being naive. You're damn stupid, that's all I can say."

Ah Mei was already crying, but her sister did not realise that. What her younger sister said totally depicted what happened to her. She was starting to believe that she was really stupid and naive.

She stood up and went into her room. She had enough for lunch. She knew something was very wrong with herself when she lost appetite for everything. Food meant the world to her when she was happy, but now, it meant nothing to her. Ah Mei sat on the bed and pondered over what her sister had said.

It was true, men are pure superficial creatures that lurk around beautiful women. Otherwise, Teck Soon would not have lied to her and had refused to touch her the past six months. They only held hands when no one was looking, and kissed when they were at her house. Ah Mei thought he respected her. Now, she knew why. It was simply because she was not attractive.

She curled herself up on the bed and sobbed herself to sleep.

****************************

"Wake up!"

Ah Mei was woken up by a hard blow behind her back. It was her mother.

"You're really like a pig! You eat and sleep! That's all you do! Can't you even exercise abit? You want to be so fat until you cannot move is it?!" Her mother shouted and continued hitting Ah Mei until her daughter sat up groggily.

Her mother's perfume was strong enough to make Ah Mei sneeze non-stop for two minutes.

It took her awhile to realise her mother was still dressed in her office wear, standing by her bed with her arms akimbo. As usual, her mother's hair was never out of place. She was very beautiful for a fifty year old.

"Mommy," Ah Mei greeted as she got out of bed quickly.

Another blow hit Ah Mei's head from behind. "Are you a pig?! I really regret giving birth to you! You're such a disgrace! You're nothing in this world! Did you realise that?! You only have N level certificate with you! What can you do?! Work at a factory! That's all you can do! Is that what you want to do all your life?" Her mother continued shouting.

Ah Mei kept quiet. Her mother never failed to remind her how useless she was everyday. It was a matter of getting used to it. However, Ah Mei was not in the best of moods to accept all that criticism positively. At least not today.

Her mother sat on the bed, exasperated. Beads of perspiration formed on top of her upper lip.

"Really! I don't know what I did in my past life to have you as my daughter! Cannot study, cannot slim down, and so stupid! Let other men cheat, and still so stupid!"

That was it. Her mother knew. Of course. Roxy could never keep anything to herself. Especially things that wouldl ruin Ah Mei's evening.

"That's it. I don't know what to do with you. You want to rot away, continue to be this way! I'm not going to bother about you!" Her mother railed and stomped out of the room. "Go look at your fat daughter!" Ah Mei heard her mother shouting from the kitchen, most likely to her father. "Useless, useless, useless!"

Ah Mei looked at herself through the full-length mirror. Still dressed in her factory blue uniform, she felt disgusted at what she saw. Her short hair was messed up from the sleep and her face was chubby. Beneath the clothes, lay two layers of fats and sparetyres Ah Mei hated. Her storky legs did not make her feel better. Nothing about her looked appealing to her.

She stayed in her room the entire evening. She could hear her sister's laughter tingling from the living room. Ah Mei could almost see through her room door how happy the family was without her. Her father, tall and handsome, sitting on his Osim massage chair, her mother, doing her facial mask, lying on the sofa doing her nightly leg lifts, and her beautiful sister munching on a bag of chips, enjoying the comedy variety shows being aired on Channel U every Friday evening.

Everything out of her room seemed perfect. Suddenly her presence did not matter so much anymore. She stopped feeling the need to live. Teck Soon had moved on happily without her. Her heart ached as she recalled how happy Teck Soon was this afternoon, busking in the scent of beautiful ladies. No amount of tears could bring him back, but Ah Mei could not control her sobs any further.She hated to say that, but she hated her life.

She took out her old diary and flipped open to the last page. She had skipped almost half a diary of empty pages, but she felt that her life had come to a fullstop. There was no need for her to fill in the other half of her blue diary.

Dear Diary,
So, it has come to an end. Tan Swee Mei's life has come to an end. Even if I'm gone, life still goes on for everyone. Maybe, they might be happier. Teck Soon, Mommy, Daddy and Roxy...

I lived 24 years of my life standing alone, even in Secondary school, people loved making fun of me. I've been worthless since 12. I couldn't even make it to the Express stream. Mommy hated me from there. I knew it. I just didn't want to face it. I hoped for four years for mommy to love me back, but I guess she didn't, especially after I failed my O levels and could only enrol myself into an ITE.

To mommy and daddy, being in an ITE was a shame. Their friends' children were from elite schools, doing their degrees now. They hardly brought me up infront of their friends. Roxy was mainly their pride. Well, it's not that I'm jealous or anything, but Roxy is indeed, beautiful and smart. I am just praying that Roxy will grow up to take care of our parents when she's successful someday.

Teck Soon was the only man who I loved. He might not have felt the same way, but to me, the short 6 months was pure bliss even though there were days he ignored my calls and messages. I knew, deep in my heart, that during the nights he didn't respond to me, he was with other girls, but I had refused to believe. As long as he comes back to me in the day, whatever he did at night, I could pretend not to know.

But he couldn't do it for long. He left me. The only guy who might have lied about me being beautiful, have left me. The last hope in my life, have left me. The only friend I had, have left me.

Now, I'm single, alone, and unloved. Life is meaningless without love. After all, I'm just someone who is useless and stupid. Nobody loves me.

I will leave this world in my favourite flower skirt and white blouse. Those were given to me by my favourite Aunt Lin. Did I tell you about her yet? She's beautiful to me, although mommy hates her as well because she is fat. But, Aunt Lin has such a beautiful soul, I think she's going to be an angel when she joins me up there.

I've to go now. I will leave my diary behind as a memory of me. I guess no one will ever read this. Who cares about my life?

I'll make sure to go in my most beautiful suit and smelling at my best. It's important to look your best when you're meeting your maker. Right?

And Diary, thanks for staying by me all these years. You've been a good friend.

Yours,
Mei.